Would appreciate your advice Captain.

  • Dear Captain,

    I've been feeling very frustrated with some of my coworkers for a while now. I try not be bothered if they just play their politics to get whatever they want, as long as they leave me alone to do my work. However, they just find me a easy target as a pushover. Again i can cope with it if it only affects me alone. But because I'm sorta supervising 3 staff, it affects them as well (getting more work). And I feel really bad about it.

    I've been mulling over whether to move on.... for the longest time. Partly because I feel I don't have much luck at job interviews. 😞

    Just need your advice if this is the time to move on. Is this really it?

    ps. I do like the work I do and the physical environment.

    thank you!

  • By coping with it, do you mean you stand up to them or just try to ignore their bad behaviour? Because bullies only stop if they are stopped by someone else - will that be you? This is something you cannot run from - if you move on rather than deal with it, you will just keep encountering the same problem over and over until you do make a stand. You don't have to be angry or aggressive - just strong and determined to stick to your guns. Tell them politely but firmly that if they keep on behaving badly, you will have to take action against them, like going to your superiors.

  • Hi Captain,

    well, i cope by ignoring them, digging deep to cope with extra work! Going to my superiors is unlikely to work because they are equally bad and easily swayed by the misinformation given by those coworkers.

    But i understand that given my character, i'll meet the same problem anywhere else I go... unless i meet nice people. 🙂

    Nearly half of year is gone but could you also give me some idea about what's 2011 like for me? (born 23 Oct 77).

    thank you!

  • Then you must make a stand with these people yourself - they pick on you because you allow them to.

    For you, 2011 is a time for analysis and understanding. It promises to be a very introspective year, a period of some pause and reflection between very active years in your life. This year should provide you with some time for gaining some understanding of yourself, and you are apt to spend a good bit of time in contemplation. It will be good for you to spend time alone or in quiet activities, as free from outside responsibilities as possible. You should try to get away from business pressures. This is a good year to reflect on the past and plan for the future. This will not tend to be a year of action, but rather a year of waiting and development. One of the most profitable activities in which to engage is that of study and writing, for your ability to think clearly, analyze, and integrate your thoughts is peaked now. Your capacity for research and understanding is at its very best. It would not be unusual for you to take on an appearance of coolness and detachment during 2011. Certainly, it is best for you to focus your attention on your talents and your skills in an effort to use the time you have now to refine them. Perhaps you can find the time to gain more education, or simply spend free time in reflection and meditation.

    This year, more than any other year, is a time for inner growth. Social activities and material needs will be put on the back burner to give your spiritual and mental presence the attention they need. 2011 for you is a year of profound spiritual import, and the desire to improve your inner life through quiet, meditation, connection to nature, and soul retreats will be very strong. You may find that you will be led to dig deeper into fields like psychology, philosophy, neuroscience and metaphysical topics in order to get a better understanding about what is going on with you. It’s a time when you will be driven to answer the bigger questions in life such as “Is this it?”, “What is my Life Purpose?", "What do I want my life to be like?", “Is this the best way for me to serve?”, “What is God’s Plan for me?” Still, while there is a great deal of contemplation and soul searching involved, it is also a time of much enjoyment and reflection. The fruit is there for the picking and it’s a time when you look back and are grateful for everything that’s happened.The trick is to remember that for every time there is a season and there is as much to be gained from this introspective time as any other. Resisting this can backfire – fate will throw you for a loop if you refuse to slow down and may give you no choice. There will be many strange and unusual events inspiring you to take a closer look at life and an opportunity is there to experience the joy and beauty of life without any artificial or exterior involvement but purely the growing awareness of yourself. YOU are important now. Rest, recharge and attend to things that create the foundation of your life – your health, your relationships, and your soul.

    2011 for you can provide understanding of one's inner nature, as well as development of intuitive abilities. Solitude is often needed in order to quiet the mind and get in touch with the heart of what really matters. This is an excellent year to journal, which can assist you in tapping into your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. A wonderful technique is free-flow writing, where you journal at least three pages a day by writing down an unconscious flow of thoughts without censoring them. This will aid you in self-discovery, as well as help you access your inner wisdom. Another most beneficial daily exercise is taking up meditation. This practice assists in helping you learn to listen to your heart and your inner voice. This will also help you develop your intuition and learn how to ground and centre in the present moment. Taking time out for yourself can provide many benefits and give you an opportunity to become more aware. Examine how much you worry. Worry is a sign that you're not in the present moment. Pay close attention to what your feelings want to tell you, rather than "spinning" in worry. You have your feelings for a reason. They can point you to what is important to you. Make a list of your essential values and needs. Ask yourself which of these are negotiable, and which are non-negotiable. Notice if you are out of integrity with any of the needs and values that you hold sacred, and if so, with whom or what. Then do whatever it takes to clean things up and bring your actions in alignment with your unique values and beliefs.

    This is the year for asking yourself what areas of your life you would like to redefine. What skill would you like to perfect? This is a great time to begin learning a new vocation, skill, or hobby that will enhance the quality of your life. The year also wants to aid you in becoming more self-sufficient. Take a sacred journey and go someplace that stimulates you spiritually. Go on a small outing or take a series of one-day events. You might want to travel to a sacred location. Sacred journeys can provide you with incredible insights and create a shift in your perceptions. Attend a workshop, or join in a group event with others who are in alignment with your spiritual interests. In 2011, this can really assist in creating a greater degree of self-definition and self-trust. Examine your sleep habits and make sure that you are getting enough rest. Your dream state may heighten this year, and it is important to give yourself space to explore your dreams. Also evaluate your health and nutrition, and make sure that you are taking steps towards preventative care.

    During this year you will want to explore life's deeper truths, either looking into philosophical matters or studying natural sciences. You will find yourself better able to solve problems, and come to a greater awareness of your full potential. Let things come to you in 2011, as this is a year when thoughts and ideas materialize. It is a good year to carry out plans that don't require involvement from others, and a year to guard your personal "alone" time, so as to avoid feeling irritable. A time to get "centered", you may find that at times during this year you feel lonely and left out. The main lesson is to learn to be alone without being lonely. By the end of this year you will likely be in a position to handle life with greater insight and efficiency.

  • Thanks Captain! Appreciate it...

  • Hi again Captain!

    Hoping you could give me some insight into my younger brother's (born 15 Jan 1983) life issues (not sure what better words to use..).

    Whatever his issues is / are, it's really bogging our whole family down. Is there anything we could / should do?

    thank you!

  • Your brother is here to learn to emerge from the shell he hides in and to express his more feminine side by becoming more compassionate, nurturing, and loving. Prone to emotional dormancy, he must learn to reach out to others and release his need to be so self-protective. Still, though he will find himself very uncomfortable with the demands of his life challenge, he does have a prospect of great success and personal fulfillment. How quickly that fulfillment will come depends on his willingness to open himself to a wider world of emotion and experience. Control issues can be a problem, as he may act from a place of insecurity and a sense that he is somehow undeserving of affection, which in turn may lead him to withhold love from others. Too, his natural wisdom may cause him to set himself up as an authority when in fact he would do better to immerse himself in the free flow of experience and interaction. Yet his very willingness to see the truth and his impulse towards self-sacrifice will serve him well in his search for fulfillment. Healing his secret inferiority complex will not be easy but if he gives of himself as fully as possible and encourages his more generous, nurturing side to come out, he will make wonderful progress in life. If he probes more deeply into his issues about being smart or dumb (to the point where he fears opening his mouth at times), he will pass through his fear of being attacked or undermined by others and onto a Higher expression of his true nature. What he really wants is to be in control of every area of his life all the time. He needs to feel he has the power and ability to succeed. This need for control can get out of hand because he will never be able to control people or situations enough to feel completely safe to be himself. Acknowledging his fears and insecurities will give him a stable base from which to create success in the outer world, for then he will no longer be fighting himself to hide or suppress his emotions. By acknowledging his own emotions, he will develop more awareness of other people's feelings. By being aware and supportive of others, your brother will gain the support he requires to help him in his own life.

  • hi Captain,

    thank you for the info.

    But how will i be able to help him be aware, to probe into his issues etc in order to allow him to grow? I basically don't know what he thinks about or even do all day. He gives up extremely easily, has great fear of facing challenges and makes choices that allows him to avoid his immediate problems, refusing to acknowledge that such decisions will lead to greater problems in the future.

    thank you.

  • You have to try harder to get him to talk about himself and his feelings. Once he starts thinking about emotions, he may feel more willing to keep on doing it.

  • Dear Captain,

    thanks for your reply on the vibes reading. i think the closest people in my life do find me opinionated and hypercritical sometimes.

    Right now i feel that i'm at the crossroads of my life. I want to take a breather.. time out from my regular life. But i pretty scared, or rather, very scared of what lies ahead. And i feel so selfish making certain decisions. I feel that what my mom fears are what I fear too, though i pretend it doesn't bother me.

    please give me some advice, suggestions, directions... and could you also give me some insight of the relationship between my mom and me.

    many thanks!

  • What is your mother's birthdate?

  • hmm...i think it's 14/8/1943. i hope it's correct because she mentioned before that official birthdate was wrong.

  • I need to know it for sure. Otherwise you might get the wrong reading.

  • sure. I've checked with her, that's the correct one.

  • As I said before, this year is about thinking and evaluation and self-exploration - the time for real external action will come next year. This year you have to decide what you really want and what will make you happy in life.

    You and your mother: this combination is worst for parent-child. It can be inspiring but also disillusioning. Mutually adoring but extremely possessive attitudes are common here. A more realistic view is essential if disappointments and letdowns are to be avoided. This relationship can feature a lot of conflicts and differences of opinion because you are two such very different personalities, yet it is often also beneficial to both of you and usually deals with carrying on the traditions and realizing the aspirations of the family group. You Tangerine often have a greater feeling for tradition than your mother, who can however motivate and encourage you in your worldly efforts. It is extremely important that a diplomatic balance be maintained here, for if the relationship fails in diplomacy, it could be disastrously spilt by fierce confrontations and arguments from within. Compromise is invaluable on both sides. You Tangerine can go too far in your blistering criticism of your mother, assuming she will just take whatever you dish out. She for her part may be too over-confident and may assume that her willpower can keep you in line. This is where the diplomacy and tact will prove vital. Thinking creatively - true innovation - without getting carried away by the kinds of urges to which both of you are prone, will be difficult but is necessary for the success of the relationship. Conventional methods that may have worked in the past will not do so now. Sometimes you must move away from traditional systems, ways or thinking that are no longer of any use to either of you.

  • PS Your mother may have an obsession with being with someone, to the point where she gives herself up and forgets that she too has a life. She has a need to control others to try and keep them from running away from her, when in fact she only needs to control and understand herself.

  • What you described is so true. we've had lots of conflicts and confrontations through the years. I like to think i'm different from the rest and i must say she has kept me in line. I understand what you say about her forgetting she has her own life and stuff. She sees us children as all she has i think. But the more she is so, the more I keep feeling i need my freedom in all sense of the word.

    I've my insecurities and not sure if i'm making the right decisions. I'd like to quit my job and leave my life behind...for a short while. but i'll probably not go through with the 2nd part tho. haha.

    Captain, you mentioned that the real actions will be next year, does it mean I might not be leaving my job afterall or should I not? my insecurities is acting up again. 😞

  • Next year is a much better year for making a career change - whether changing it or improving your current one. The whole year's focus will be on your working life. Use 2011 to decide if you are following your real passion or just going through the working motions.

  • many thanks for all the advice and help Captain!

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