Am I worrying for nothing?

  • My ex moved with his boss from a different area in Mexico (that was quite dangerous) to a more safer place farther away but in the same country, which would be Baja California. He told me that he would contact me within a week of getting all settled in. However, I have not heard from him. This Wednesday it will be two weeks since we last talked. I am very worried and feel sick about it. I have talked to his family in Mexico as well as his brother who lives a few states away from me, and no one has heard from him. It is hard because my ex did not have a cell phone or any way to contact me (or anyone for that matter) right away due to not having that much money.

    Is he okay? Do I have anything to be worried about? We are making plans to see each other this year, in June preferably. It is like a reunion, since we have not seen each other since 2005, and we are very excited about it as it has been such a long time! Do you see this happening? Do you see us getting back together at all?

    If any more information is needed, I can certainly give it to you.

    Thank you so much.

  • Cappy, you need to recall why you and your ex broke up - the same problems will still be there if you reunite. I feel you want to get back with him more from your own fear that no one else will love you than from really wanting this guy in particular.

    I do feel he's OK - in fact I feel he is enjoying being out of contact with everyone. It makes him feel free and without responsibility.

    If you give me both your birthdates, I can tell you more..

  • Hello Captain!

    I should have mentioned that the only reason why we broke up was because my parents and I moved two states away. Him and I were young (in our early twenties) and just did not fight for the relationship. However, we have been talking on and off for a long time and trying to see each other and reunite. We have both said that even though we have had other relationships, nothing was the same in those relationships compared to what we had. We both believe the spark is still there.

    And I feel that you are right when you say that is he is okay and enjoying being alone and out of contact with everyone. I spoke with his brother today after writing this and he told me that before he moved with his boss, he got in a big fight with his other brother, his sister, and his parents and they all shared some not very nice words! Maybe he is just letting off some steam...

    His birthdate is April 25, 1983 and mine is January 4, 1985.

    Thank you very much Captain!

  • Hello again Captain! I also forgot to add that if you needed further information, I can certainly give that to you. Thank you again so much and I look forward to what more you can tell me about all this! 🙂

  • I do feel you may be over-romanticizing or imagining things that weren't there in the old relationship so take care to base your renewed relationship on reality and facts and the present moment, not fantasy or the past. Get to know each other as you are now before you make any big decisions.

    Your ex will need to examine his issue of love versus the need for security in the course of his life journey, directing his concerns from himself outwards to others. He must also overcome his rigidity and reach out in a more natural, fluid manner. His principal life task will be to allow himself to remain open and present as he has a strong impulse to withdraw in the face of conflict or to stubbornly refuse any opportunities for change - even when the change promises greater fulfillment. Taking risks is not his forte, and he may repress a good deal of his creativity, inspiration or imagination as he tries to restructure his own and others' emotions. If he can change his way of retreating to lick his wounds and lose his need to be so self-protective, instead cultivating the simple art of caring for others, all will go well in his life. Prone to emotional dormancy, his workaholic tendencies can interfere with his personal life, especially if he uses work to escape from personal responsibilities.

    If this relationship is to endure, it will need to build a type of teamwork tailored to satisfy personal needs, and particularly to tie its own interests to those of those concerned. The structure of the relationship may not be especially well understood by those around it who can view its methods as peculiar and its goals as somewhat bizarre. One problem here can be that you Cappy may be more ambitious about yourown personal advancement than that of the relationship and you may jump ship at any moment, often without warning. Your steady devoted partner will find it much harder than you to end the relationship. Marriage or friendship here may be quite interested in seeking social status in the community or circle. You two highly prize money, prestige and power, considering them well worth whatever efforts are needed to attain them. Your partner can get a bit disturbed by your ambition and drive, finding you overly aggressive and you in turn may see him as a bit lazy or overly moral. A lack of sympathy, kindness and affection may put the relationshiop in danger of becoming hard and unfeeling. A love affair here is often a tough, sexually-oriented confrontation in which you two are not really prepared to give of yourselves but tend to size each other up in terms of the profit you might gain from staying together. This relationship will have to be strong to weather the external criticism and lack of understanding it will attract from others. Make sure your motives for wanting this relationship are based on love and not profit or security. Develop your caring and affectionate sides and share your feelings and goals with each other honestly. Take the time to really get to know each other as you are now and do not build your hopes on what you once may or may not have had back when.

  • Wow! I am amazed at how much this sounds just like him and just like me.

    I do believe we can have a good relationship, but like you said we have to take our time and really get to know each other as we are doing so now. And I cannot get my hopes up or dwell on the past and what we might have had. I have thought a lot about this lately, and even though the past was great, well we have not seen each other since 2005 and that is a long, long time. Many things have happened. We have had all kinds of experiences and other relationships, and I believe that as people we have certainly changed as well.

    The love that we had back then, well when we see each other

    I do have a few more questions if you do not mind, as I know you are busy!

    The last time I talked to him was two weeks ago yesterday. He told me that he was going to call me in a week. Do you think he has changed his mind about us seeing each other? Do you think he will call me at all? I did receive a phone call from what I thought was him, but they did not say anything when I repeatedly said "Hello? Hello?" and the phone line was what I like to call "blank." There was no static or anything. Dead air I guess you could call it. Do you feel that was him maybe? I just feel like after all this he may not call me ever again. And I have no idea why, because all of our previous phone calls were positive ones, especially the last one before he moved.

    And I am curious do you see me going to Mexico to see him at all? I am curious as to what you see with that.

    Thank you very much Captain! I look forward to hearing from you again, and thank you also for your time! 🙂

  • And I wanted to add this, as it just hit me: Are not we going through another Mercury retrograde again? I know that this period has to do with delays in communication. It is funny that I just thought about this and that I did not remember this, as the last Mercury retrograde did the same thing between mine and my ex's communication! I had forgotten all about this and I have this feeling that this could be due to the delay in communication. I bet I will hear from him.

    However, correct me if I am wrong Captain! And I still would like to know what you see. Thank you again! 🙂

  • I do think you are right in feeling that he may not contact you again. At the moment he is enjoying his new life, far from commitments and arguments with his family and personal matters. Plus his work is keeping him very busy. No, that was a wrong number and not him on the phone. He doesn't want much to do with his old life at present. This may change or he may meet someone where he is who makes him want to get even more distance from his past. He is on a knife edge of indecision so I cannot predict which way he will go at this point. It all depends on what his experiences are like in the new place. If he gets lonely, he will probably contact you again but he is the sort of person who prefers his relationships to be in person and up close rather than long distance. But you should not go to see him unless he invites you. He would feel like you were trying to trap him if you turned up uninvited.

    All you can do is get on with your own life and not depend on hearing from him.

  • Hello again Captain,

    Sorry it has taken me a while to write you back! I have been using these few days to think very hard about what you said as well as tap into my intuition. A part of me feels what you wrote to me, about him not contacting me again and being indecisive, because he has been like that in the past. However, an even bigger part of me feels that this is just not the case. The main reason why he moved with his boss was so that I would come and see him! It is much safer where he moved to instead of where he was living with his parents. I told him that I could not go to where he was living because I was too afraid, so we both made plans for him to move to a more safer place. The last several phones calls we talked about him moving there and that he was just waiting for his boss to be ready to move. Then he would go over there, live with his boss, and work for about 3-4 months. During that time as well he would be looking for a place to rent and a different better paying job, so that in time me and my son would move down there and we would all be a family.

    So as you can see, he moved over there for me to go there and see him. He also promised me (because I thought he was saying goodbye to me in a letter I had written him) about six months ago that he will never say goodbye to me again, because him and I have regretted not fighting for what we had when I had to move with my parents back in 2005. I really do not think he is going to give all that up and meet someone else and forget about all of our plans.

    As for the reason why it has been a while for him communicating, I have this feeling that it is because like you said, work is keeping him busy. But I also think that he does not have much money and it is very expensive for him to call over here in the U.S.

    I do agree when you say that he prefers his relationships to be in person. I certainly feel the same way. That is why before he moved we had plans where I would be going to see him in June or July, give or take, depending on how soon he was in his own place as well as if he would be able to take time off.

    I would never turn up uninvited over there. I would not be able to anyways if I was like that, because I do not even know what area he is living in nor his address and nor a phone number for him yet!

    Do you still see the same things that you saw last time when you wrote me previously? Has anything changed?

    Thank you so much. I am not disagreeing with what you say, I just wanted you to understand the whole story. 🙂

  • Correction: In a letter he had written to me! 🙂

  • All you can do is wait and see what happens now.

  • Thank you Captain! I will update here with whatever happens. 🙂

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