What should I do with old bf from my past?
An old boyfriend from my past found me last year. We got very close last fall. He came home to visit family and we hooked up. We continued to talk until the end of December. He is married. I've been unhappily married for some time. He stopped talking w/me on 12/31/10. Saying he needed to work on his relationship. Since then I haven't heard from him. I sent him an e-mail in Feb and he said not to contact him. I texted him in early March and again, he said he'd be in touch soon, but not to contact him. I know the comments will be to read the writing on the wall, its OVER! But why do I feel such a connection with him? He's a Gemini and I'm Scorpio. Any help would be appreciated.
. This is your EGO talking now and the inability to go through the process of moving on with your life and putting this behind you.
You know there is no future with this man, you know you can do better. You also know that you are hindering your progress by waiting for this man because you are scared to be loved. You are your own worst enemy. There is a connection between feeling total hopelessness and feeling attachment towards someone who does not give you what you want. This happens to women more so than men. The more crappy the man treats the woman the more she feels there is a connection. Think about this.
This was not the first time this man has entered my life. Many times over the years our paths have crossed. Why do our paths continuously cross if there is nothing there? I have had lots of regret over the years, wondering if he's the 'one' that got away? He is on his second marriage, and not totally happy but 'content'.
Most people are "content" in their marriage if they are lucky. LOL... you will learn the hard way.
In life we have many choices to make and so many married people fall in to the trap of being taken advantage of. They stop talking to each other and a great distance begins and the choise to have affairs comes easyer. Instead od leaving they distroy there life and justify there actions. It's no easy to leave thou is a wiser choise in the long run.. Whyh be a fool for another..
I also reconnected with my first love after 36 years and thought we could make it work the second time around despite our respective unhappy marriages and the long distance between us. After a couple of months of being so sure of our awakened longings, and decided to take things a notch higher, he chickened out and bided for more time since I'm coming home to finalize our future plans. He wants to take things slowly so as not to rock the boat and still keeps his family intact and keeping me on the wings! What an unselfish way to treat his supposed great and first love! I woke up to the realization that I'm being taken for a ride, and made to accept that he's not ready yet to leave his family to be with me...and it's unacceptable to me. I know I will be waiting for nothing so even if it hurts so much, I decided to end our long distance and cyber love affair to keep my sanity and dignity intact! I'm going to visit our country next week but I've cut-off our supposed liaison and wants to keep it platonic, He was taken aback with my decision and didn't see it coming1 Now, he is rattled and wanted to win me back but I've made up my mind and he paid dearly for his indecision. You deserve much better than what he is able to give you, show some respect for yourself and then men will take up and notice that you are a worthy woman, deserving of genuine love and commitment to last a lifetime. My mind is so powerful that whatever I will in my life, I make it happen regardless of the consequences. Dump that user and improve yourself, learn to love yourself more, then you will be loved more by a much deserving and worthy man. Take courage, it's not the end of the world, girl! Give yourself time, grieve if you must...and then move on to better things and prospects! Good luck!
spot on angela,
this man in your life manfromthepast is saying that he wants to work on his relationship/marriage he doesn't want to end it. which means realistically he's not wanting to offer you anything real or long lasting.
you deserve more, you're in a rocky marriage and it would feel so much worse if you were taken for granted in any relationship you pursue. maybe its a good chance for you to re-evaluate your own relationship? do you want to be there anymore otherwise you will just end up hurting yourself and your partner more in the long term as you are tied and can't move on and this is not fair on your husband either.
sometimes old loves can just be an escape a reminder when we were young free and so much more hopeful. wistfully wishing. The reality for him of having a real life with you scares him, which means perhaps he actually likes the way life is and doesnt want to spoil it, hence him saying to you stay away.
you look after yourself as he is clearly looking out for himself and his own. this is not a good situation for you to be in. its confusing and hurtful as he blows you out the water when you get in touch or just soothes you wih open ended emails saying he will contact you soon. he is being selfish knwoing you are there if he feels low so that he can grace you with crumbs of attention.
you deserve more. you are in an unhappy marriage this relationship with the manfromthepast doesn't look like it is making you happy either. replacing one stressful void situation with another will just make you more sad.
its horrible.....but hopefully each day of silence will make you stronger.
I don't know you, but this is what i would say to any of my girlfriends, NEVER get in touch with that man again no more emails. Walk away.
x x x x