To Blmoon From the Time Traveler
I've missed you pal. It's been a rough patch for me lately so I've apologized time and time again for all the pressure, stress and difficulties I felt might be out there for others to feel on my account. We've jumped through some hoops, over some hurdles, laid to rest some friends and loved ones and yet life goes on.
Thanks for the hug from Michael, that means a lot to me.
I haven't had a lot with regards to dreams lately, there have been a few I felt myself wake from that I reached for but just couldn't hold in my mind long enough to record them. Perhaps I should say the dreams are there but I am not getting the messages. I believe my waking life stress has gotten in the way of that, the gnashing of my teeth and pain I've dealt with are an indicator it is not my imagination. I am sleeping deeply and really pulling myself out of it in the morning, not because I want to but a need to get up and not allow time to get away from me. But I did recently begin hanging some pictures in my room that I think have attracted some loved ones to visit. I definitely don't feel alone but it's not in a bad way at all. I have had the sense that my guides for lack of a better term have changed or that a new team is in place to guide my weary soul. I don't know if I'm right about that but I sure feel like there are meetings going on to discuss which direction to take me in or send me in soon. It's as if I am approaching something where which way to go will be a choice and a decision I'll have to make, one I don't feel ready for just yet. I feel as if I'm in some way being prepared, does that make any sense?
If you have any thoughts or messages for me I'm ready and willing to receive. I have been talking about the family farms recently, did you hear me somehow? LOL
You know it's funny, I went back to my dream journal after writing that first message and uncovered a dream I hand on March 7th.
I dreamed of a German man, in uniform or looked like one, it was gray in color I think. There was a woman with a kerchief who was short not tall at all. He left her behind to come to America. He should have married her first, she thought. She had to come to meet him. Which I suppose meant she came at a later time frame.
The name "Alexander" who I felt was their son, stuck out to me although I knew they had other children but didn't see them t(hat I'm aware of) in my dream.
There seemed to be a flash, and I saw a cobblestone like street, the buildings were jetting out from above the street. What I mean by that is they were not straight up the tops hung out over the street much farther than the bottom floors, it seemed like they would be top heavy but all the buildings seemed to be made the same way.
Now I know that isn't much to go on but that was the dream. Do you get anything from that one which might be directed at me as some message?
I can tell you this much, I have learned I dream, there are things I think, I experience, I know and then there are things I feel, this had a lot of feeling in it, the sons name was a knowing. So is that progress?
Just hoping you'll catch a glimpse of this. Have a great day.
I'm definitely feeling guided lately, it's as if someone has me by the hand and is almost showing me the way so I won't miss a step. For some reason I want to add the words "this time" to that sentence. I do feel frustrated that I have things reoccur in my life which obviously means they are not resolved or I am not handling them or the situations correctly. It is puzzling to think of such things and try to figure out a different approach so as not to allow history to repeat itself "again". Definitely feeling like that is being emphasized by someone else.
Have been dealing with some struggles with Daughter and feeling low because of it. But got a nice reminder that we are not alone from the little one yesterday who shared her dream with us. She spoke of daughter and her sisters, three of them, it only took me a second to realize she was really talking about my mom and her three sisters. She also saw my dad and shared with us the fact that he sits on her bed and is very much "here" and wants us to know that, especially wants my daughter to know that. So even at times when we feel very lost in our thoughts and events it is sometimes nice to be reminded we are not alone in this journey.
Hi Blmoon, I gather you are either busy with others or for yourself or simply allowing me time to work things for myself. But I wanted to mention that this week my brother and I have both experienced "visits" from my dad. I suppose on some levels this is not unusual for him more than me but the timing of the occurrences seems to signify some urgency or significance about timing. I wrote out some details on rcdreamer writes if you're of a mind to check it out.
I hope you are having a good day and that things are going well for you. You are in my thoughts more often than you know. Have a wonderful day.
I know you've been keeping yourself busy I hope you are allowing yourself the time for you that you deserve.
Life has taken me on quite a ride during this journey of mine. I've fought negativity, come to terms with some past life issues, am working on feeling worthy and have come to realize I have a greater faith than I realized. In each step I take to see the world through new eyes, to trust in my instincts and let go I learn something new nearly everyday. I've learned a lot and yet at times feel like a school child facing her first day with wonder and fear, with curiosity and excitement. Recently I've felt that life keeps bringing me to the very brink of opportunities and then as if a bad joke they are pulled out from under me like a rug knocking me off my feet. I wondered if you might have some insights for me. Anything that might prove helpful to keep me going and not lose hope.
You know my ancestors keep me busy and the last month has been the same, the new findings and understandings have been remarkable and such a joy to discover. I can't help but wonder if that was a distraction from the turmoil that was to come my way next. I'm hoping that I am wrong about that.
In any case, I hope this finds you doing well and if you have any insights at all for me, I would dearly love to hear from you.
Your time traveling pal,
She hasn't been on much, I miss her too.
Blmoon I know you are busy, I know you have other focuses right now but if you see this pleae read back a bit, we have reached that place of rock and hard place, I am concerned but pushing through the panic. Any words of wisdom you might have or be able to share or perhaps a message from someone would dearly bring me comfort right now. Please if you have the time, let me hear from you.
Starting a new job tomorrow, have concerns over funds and stability. Any insights you could offer would be appreciated. Hoping this finds you rested and doing well.
Hmmm....such a lonely thread....wonder why....hey i know ! I'll be my usual self and drop in uninvited ! Even tell a story, a fairy tail, i just LOVE fairy tails !
God : It's TALE.
Seehorsey : Oh Dad ! Hi, what a pleasant surprise, haven't seen you in ages ! How you doin ?
God : It's TALE.
Seehorsey : Huh ?
God : Fairy TALE stoopid. You spelled it wrong.
Seehorsey : Hey, english is not my first language Dad ! I try...
God : Then try to follow the rules. This is RC's thread. Don't you have ANY respect for others ? Go now. Shoo. Go to your room.
Seehorsey : Daddy, i wanna ask you a question.
God : A question. I have a whole multiverse to run, right now two distant galaxies collide and a gazillion green aliens are screaming for my help, Aunt May's cat cannot get down from the tree,
every living being asks for something, and you have a question to make. And you think i have the time to answer. You're crazy. And selfish.
Seehorsey : Dad, i'm what YOU made me.
God : You know, when that salesman persuaded mt to buy that book "how to create a perfect human race, success guaranteed", i just knew it was money wasted. Look at you...
Seehorsey : Dad, what are you sayin' ?! You created the Human Race, the CROWN of creation from a damn book ?!
God : It was a JOKE moron !! a joke ! Jesus, i can't stand you anymore !
Jesus : Hey, what did i do ?!
God : Wasn't talking to you. Waitaminute....we are one, Father, Son, Holy Pidgeon...so i WAS talking to you, even if i wasn't talking to you....this is not good, i'm talking to myself....i'm getting too old for this....
Seehorsey : Dad, Dad do you think RC found that job because she looked for a job, or your angels found the job for her ?
God : Use your head.
Seehorsey : I can't i'm stoopid. And crazy. Hahahahaha.
God : No you're not. You're just lazy and expect everything from me. How are you going to grow up and do things for yourself when you just sit and prey and expect and prey some more and expect and you get frustrated and angry with me and you do nothing yourself ?
Seehorsey : It's easier that way Dad.
God : Looking for what's easy makes you weak. The whole point is to get stronger. Yes life is difficult, unfair, horrible sometimes. The strong survive, the weak perish. Period.
Seehorsey : Awww Dad, that's cruel.
God : No son, it's survival of the stronger genes. You miss the forest for the trees. You only think of yourself, forgetting you're a part of something greater. What is that ? LIFE. And life must evolve, get better, more effective, stronger. Don't just think of yourself, think of Life everywhere in the Universe. It is evolving. To perfection. But to get there, Life must get rid of what doesn't work. You don't like it, you call me uncaring, but it seems you remember only what suits your needs. I've laid it all out for you, you see. Remember my words :
GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
Seehorsey : And the weak ? They perish ? Oh my God....
God : I'm here. I'm always here. And i always help. When you start to believe in yourselves, pray less and act more. Those who don't help themselves, those who never stand up for themselves, those who expect everything from me, well they are defective, and yes they perish. Period. Look at Nature. I made Nature. It reflects ME. These are my rules. Not fair ? Well, here's the challenge. Be better than me if you can. Help the weak. Devote some of your time for those in need and stop thinking only for yourself. That's selfish. Transcend your selfish Ego, and thrive despite the opposition. Dare to defy your destiny, for nothing is set in stone. In doing so you ascend. What, do you think all those fools who waste their lives just praying and meditating and never get out to help anyone because they are on their SELFISH path to enlightenment will ever find me ? That they'll find enlightenment wasting their lives and denying my gifts ? You really think i'd make it so hard for any of you to find me ? You're deluded. The way to ascension is not through yourself. It's through others. Enlightenment ? Follow the rules and you'll find it. If you help yourself i'll help you. Forget my rules and bend them to your will because you think you know better and the only thing you'll find is darkness. YOUR darkness. Stop accusing me of everything. Be responsible. Be strong. Mature. And in the end, achieve perfection.
Seehorsey : But Dad, i don't get it. You're allmighty. You can do everything. Why didn't you make us perfect in the first place and save us all the trouble ?!!
God : Use your head.
Seehorsey : Hey don't do this ! You know, i've had it with my ignorance ! I wanna know ! I don't want to think much, it hurts my head !
God : Use your head. That's why i gave it to you, you know.
Seehorsey : My head hurts already. I give up. This is boring. Hey you wanna hear a joke ?
God : I hear you all this time. It's funny enough. Hahaha. And just because you made me laugh a bit, yes i need a little laughter every now and then, everybody does, but all i hear is your whining....what was i saying ?.....this is not good i'm forgetting things....thank God i'll retire soon....go fishing...forget about all of you....but what am i saying, i AM God !! That's it. I'm too old for this $#%*
Seehorsey : WHAT ?! Retire ?! And you're gonna leave us all alone just like that ?
God : That was another jole moron bahahahaha oh man you're stoopid lol
hey i remembered ! The hint. Well, you are a cell.
Seehorsey : ExCUse me ?
God : You are a cell.
Seehorsey : What's THAT supposed to mean ?! I don't understand $@% !
God : You are a cell, and you're talking to yourself. Here, i gave you two hints. I feel generous today. Haha.
Seehorsey : I quit.
God : Many do. And many perish. Or run away. To darkness. That's the path of the weak. Not in body. But in Spirit. If every cell gets stronger, the WHOLE gets stronger. And evolves. To perfection. You are a part of it all. everyone of you. And we all flow. We all evolve. To perfection.
Seehorsey : WE ?!
God : You are a cell, and you're talking to yourself. Bye now, got better things to do. Got a date. Seeya !
Seehorsey : I'm a cell, and i'm talking to myself.......go figure. You know, i got better things to do too. Go to sleep and forget about this. Don't like riddles and stuff, my head hurts. I'm sleeeeeeepy...Thank God this was just a fairy tail.
God : Tale. It's tale. Fairy TALE. Get a dictionary. And stop talking to yourself, little cell. Better stop talking and thinking and praying and hoping for me and believe in me and start believing in yourself. And then you believe in me. Me. You. Cell. You're talking to yourself. Think about it. You are about to hear the Truth. I am about to reveal all !
Seehorsey : zzzzzzzzz.....
you've attracted a wall! I just ran into this thread and odd it seemed hidden before. I will look closer later after this prayer my special friend. A lot of testing going around--past issues revisiting but in fast forward mode--a panic attack time for many and others have gone into isolation. It's temporary. I will look closer around you for any spirit thoughts for you. For now I send this pray.
Dear Saint Mchael---Gods own mighty serva nt of protection and justice. Please keep close under your watch my friend who recieves you with open arms. Help her maintain clarity and fortitude during this uphill climb. Raise your mighty sword if you have to. Heal her wounds with your big big heart--whisper at night into her ears words of wisdom and courage. Fill her house with your golden presence. Send all poisen arrows aimed her way to return to sender. Let her know she is loved.! Remind her--- It is good to feel safe it is safe to feel good! Thank you--AMEN.
Interesting. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or be angry but I will take the message with a grain of salt and hope, pray and even think that things will get better. The term God helps those who help themselves rings true indeed. Belief in something greater give me solace whether others agree with that or not is up to them. Faith that we will get through this has allowed me to overcome greater obstacles than this and survive. I want more than to survive, I want to thrive, I want to make a difference a positive difference in the lives of others. I want to be remembered for the caring and loving person that I am. Perhaps in my many writings I have shared more than some care to read but I use this forum in many respects as a therapeutic nature that allows me to be open with such thoughts and feelings. That is the greatness that tarot.com has allowed us on this forum, I for one am truly grateful for that. I suppose your story leaves behind food for thought. It reminds me to step forward even when I want to run in the opposite direction. It reminds me others see my situation differently than I. It reminds me that what others may perceive as weakness I am assured is growth and change in ways someone who hasn't known me throughout my lifetime would never understand. So in stepping forward I choose to draw on my beliefs and trust in my faith and find my way as a blindfolded child me in a game of blind mans bluff. I don't know who is always near, I can't always trust them to be there to help me or guide me. There are times I may hesitate and some I'll just give up in frustration and there will be moments when I let it all out and just cry. You have no idea how long that has been coming. If and when those flood gates finally open it will be a cleansing like never before imagined.
I don't know what the future holds. Maybe God himself won't show me, but I believe He will and is with me every step of the way, even in those moments when my emotions or rational mind make me feel further from him than ever. No one said anyone had to agree with how I feel or understand what I go through and I don't mean to minimize that saying others don't go through it as well. One might need to imagine a bottle corked so tightly the contents never touch the air that surrounds it, my emotions have been sealed in that bottle for a lifetime, what was important to me always came last and the feeling that I mattered to anyone was rarely ever considered because it was not demonstrated by many. If all of that makes me weak. I am. For that reason I am here to heal and have been on this journey for well over a year now and have changed and grown and healed in more ways than I ever thought possible. I'm far from done but I have made progress by leaps and bounds.
I thank you for your candor and perhaps your willingness to shine a light on words that need to echo in my mind a bit more clearly. Know this I'm still trying and nothing and no one is going to change that, I won't allow it. I have come too far to turn back now and so I choose to put one foot in front of the other and continue with forward motion whether I know where those steps will lead or not.
Blmoon, dear friend I am so very grateful you made your way here. Thank you!!!!
I so appreciate the prayer. A wall huh? Who'd have guessed. LOL I felt like my emotions were too strong or too scattered and perhaps you had no words of wisdom with me in that state. I am glad that is not the case. Know that I welcome your advice and information and that I value your friendship and kindness and willingness to teach those still learning. I know you may not have all the answers but I know whatever answers you offer that they will help me to progress forward so I look forward to your words as I head out the door for my first day at this new job. I have many apprehensions but in as much as any new experience brings them, this is different in ways I'm not sure how to describe. Each day I choose to breathe in and out and keep on going. Dear friend your spirit has lifted me on difficult days even without your ever knowing I was thinking of you then. I am grateful in so many ways that you come forward when you can.
I'll check in to learn more soon. Know that others have been near, that I have sought to see more and continued to try.
happy first day at work. Spirit shows me a line of folks standing behind you! Despite your "muddy glasses" they see for you "perfectly"! Remember that perspective is reality but not always truth--that there are many ways of seeing an event. If you are wearing your wounded child glasses for the day you may only see old wounds--people who look like the past. Be CARE FULL not to imagine sins that are not real. If someone says something in a funny tone do not jump to the fear it is YOU. You know your shadow side is all about--entitlement---giving yourself permission to enjoy a big perfect piece of the pie! Be kind to yourself--really kind. Everytime you pass a mirror mouth a kiss and say hey there beautiful--looking good! There has been self doubt in the stars all around----you have not made a big wrong turn--screwed up--missed anything. All is good--even when it is not--you are on path. Any conflict that pops up is your option for building a stronger resolve in that too big heart of yours to remember you have little to give when you do not feed yourself first. Do not let anyone feed your guilt demon. You need to be a giver it's in your DNA and when you do not feed yourself and can not deliver you get into that failure mucky muck place. You feel overwhelmed--heavy and useless. And you have a hard time rewarding that! But reward and self love and nurture is exactly what you need! You are at a crossroads like many others right now and you will make it to the otherside. Just remember it is a journey--no regrets when you stumble--stumbling is an earthly privelage--we are not saints. AWARENESS is all you need to keep on. Truth is God---Evil is when lies rule. When your wounds show up---just say--oh yea that's me feeling abandoned so I isolate into pain--or--oh yea that's me feeling not worthy and imagining the boss hates me. Then you make a free will choice. We are who we are---we do not change as much as we MANAGE ourselves. Remember the laws of energy---if you feel isolated--a wall builds--if you feel abandoned--a wall builds. Walls ONLY attract people who are not your friends--but who add a brick or two. Trust your gut and do not acknowledge anyone who makes you feel--guilty or bad. RUN! AND believe that despite your walls God sends his servants to keep knocking--though it's harder to hear. You are never alone. Never. I have not read any of your posts you say you've opened up yourself for the world so I do not get sidetracked by emotion with this post. Spirit reminds you as well about your "boundry" issues--which also echo you practice self love. Remember that old wound of not being "protected" can still haunt but you are not that small anymore. Practice boundries---do not let people make you feel bad--or that somehow you deserve to be hurt in anyway. Be kind be kind be kind. Any time you get a chastizing thought in your head--or a fear takes over just stop and silently or out loud say over and over until it passes these words "ALWAYS US LIVING LOVE" Say it as long as it takes to bring peace---it is God's gift--a magic pill made real by your "intention" to help you past your shadow thinking. Use these words anytime fear and worry take over. A very tall older man is standing know hands on your shoulders--he is very tall--white hair--thick no hint of balding. He is wearing a tan brownish shirt that looks like something heaveir than cotten--wool pants--heavy boots--his back is slightly bent. He is a very strong spirit having gathered much love in his lifetime and is your main protector right now and he is thanking me--extending his hand--it is very large and long fingered---knotted with hard work--he has a wide grin--always smiles closed mouth---kin and friends called him the quiet giant. He had a profound effect on people. He's the peace maker---evil fears him. He is the protector. He knew pain---had joint problems and worked his life with fortitude--endure endure--survive but without bitterness. It was his gift to always know the peace of thankfulness--he always counted his blessings. He was truelly a very happy man despite any life tradgedy--he says he is the master of his house. He knew how to magnify the energy of love. He wants you to feel the love! What a wonderfull energy! He has stepped back and the last advice is on the issue of vulnerability. Protect yourself fearlessly. I will again send this prayer at his request. BLESSINGS!
Dear Saint Michael and all the loving guides and spirits who every moment touch our perfect lovely little time traveler as she makes her journey towards wholeness and healing. Please keep her safe from the darker energies that would keep her isolated from herself and love. Let her know she is loved--with her permission---let her open her arms to receive! Let her know love is also mighty wall that will return all poisen arrows back to sender. It is safe to feel good it is good to be safe. Let this truth rein above all evil. thank you for this blessing. AMEN.
Thank you so very much for your message, especially the message about the man watching over me. I could see his hands, feel his smile and I am so very glad he is there/ here with me. I liked that there is a line of people behind me. Believe me I've asked for that support especially recently. I am so glad to have you reassure me that I am on path. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion but I struggled deep down to hold onto the fact that I am where I am supposed to be, even if I don't understand it in the now. I have really been putting forth effort in respect to understanding appreciate my worthiness in general. I've had a few times where I thought, why not me I'll admit that and yes the realization of coming to a point of having nothing left to give or to call my own is a hard place to be but it is where I am and so I must learn to overcome and I'm trying.
Fighting fear and worry and concern over lack is a tough battle to fight, I have often felt like I needed St. Michaels' sword and shield to protect myself as it is a battle which takes great effort and endurance and the perseverance to go on even when you get knocked down. I will admit it is people like you and my pal Poetic and others too many to mention who give me strength and remind me to not give up. Your fine examples allow me to press on even when I want to cower in a corner. I have my moments, the tears have been shed, I have cried out as many have asking why and please help me. Others may see that as weakness but I have resolved to allow it to be release. One of the toughest challenges I have endured in the last calendar year was the advice to "let it go, give it up to a greater spirit than myself and trust that I will get through it", even when and perhaps in spite of not being in control of it myself. That is both difficult and amazing. I have fallen to my knees a few times but I have the resilience to get back up again and keep on going. Sure I'm fighting and pushing away the fear, the doubt, the concerns, I won't say I have cast them off but as you describe I am trying with a wall to protect myself from such harm and heart ache. I hope that I am not in the process preventing good things from getting close to me by building up that wall. Call it my force field perhaps or perhaps it is the cloak I hide behind when I don't feel strong enough but I will keep on trying. But in reading your words I feel like I need to start taking that wall down brick by brick or maybe with a big ol' sledge hammer and smash it to smithereens. I don't want to encourage those who wish to bring me harm or weaken me to get closer by adding to that wall of mine. I don't know if I am strong enough to cast it off completely and be vulnerable but it is a thought to ponder.
I am so very glad you shared with me your description of my protector. My mind is whirling trying to determine who it is. I have a few choices but my brother reminds me it may not be someone I knew in this lifetime. To my protector I am grateful for your encouragment and your willingness to defend little old me. I want to say he is my uncle, well no longer by marriage at the time of his death but I may be wrong. Perhaps he will clarify this for me when I meditate next.
Thank you dear one for the prayers. More later.
I feel he is not my uncle, he dates back further than that. I think I know who he is, if it's who I believe I am humbled to have him so very close after being so very far out of reach for so long.