What's with these Cancer men?
ok, so I don't usually post here but i decided hey maybe i can get some perspective from an outsider about Cancer men. How do they just cut you out of their life like you're nothing? And then be all happy. Or are they really good at hiding their feelings? We had some jealousy issues (both of us) and then i started to feel things changing, and i was feeling like i wasn't getting enough attention so i tested him a little, he was sorta doing the same thing to me so i did it back. And then one day he decided to cut me off completely and never talk to me again. And this happened a few months ago but damn I still feel the pain. I feel numb sometimes. Is this how Cancers are? He hasn't tried talking to me at all. The thing I don't understand is he acts like he's great, like he wasn't sad at all. That is what hurts the most. It tore me up thinking that all the time, so depressed seeing him happy (not that I don't want him to be happy). I know people will say Get over him, he's a jerk, coward.etc. But I really felt like this is the one for me. I can't disconnect for some reason. I'm getting there, I'm much better than I was. Anyway, it's the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and i still want to be with him go figure. I never thought he would do that to me. I see him having bad karma for doing this to me. I'm a Scorpio female by the way. We both have Libra Moons.
I posted a similar experience. think that is the cancer male. A cancer guy I was dating said and did of the right things.....THEN calls,text, spending time together slowed down then came to a halt. I got tired of trying to figure out what happened and his unresponsiveness. Really dnt have time and too old for the games or trying to put energy somewhere that its not wanted so, I backed off and just called it quits. Sad part is that I really started to care for him.
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it's horrible. i'm sad when i think about this happening to others.
We wanna play the games and test your waters we do that to see of u REALLY like us (^_-)
Its not only cancer mens way of doing it., its a MALE thing. It can be numerous reasons. the MOSt obvious if u just STOPPED to listen n hear it, it would shout in ur face. I guess thats what we women lack, that stop n listen.
Ill explain. Men when they tell divulge open up tell of flaws skeletons wishes dreams wants for near far future they whoops stop n think feel they opened up too much too soon.
Here is it we women are puszzled bc we feel priviledge n loved when we´re informed of a mans intentions. We read it as "soon as possible, or n within 6 to 12 months tops" scenario.
men do NOT at all. When they open to wishes n dreams n wants it can be from anything from 6 weeks to 4 months from a year or 2 from now IF we´re lucky n onward.
Then there is the whole other scenarios such as , u aint the only mare he banked his stuff on, or simple, u aint what he wanted as gf n potential wife to be.
So i think u need to ask uself also, what did i do wrong? bc seriously it takes 2 to tango.
Each relationship is a fragile rare plant, n if only one attend it, it dies. tales 2. So instead of looking at him n "blame" him, asking why did he n why is he n what for n so forth, ask urself the same very questions. Who knows mayb u did something wrong, like being the hare n raced like in the story of the hare n tortoise race. U do recall who lost no?
That being said im not saying u caused him to cut n leave at all. BUT in my experience if we rush men n race like a hare, they will cut the lines.
Cwb 5 cents worth
I fully understand where all you ladies are coming from with your Cancer man.
Test the waters??? Games are NOT to be played, especially playing with ones emotions.
Its VERY IMMATURE and VERY SELFISH for ANY MAN to string a women on and then disappear with out a word. Come on, give us a break!!
Yes it takes two to tango, but the reality is, in a situation like this, its him that has and wants the control. he decides whats in HIS best interests, ITS ALL ABOUT HIM!!
if he truly was a man, a real human being, he would be upfront and say, I am sorry, I like you as a friend but I can't see this going any further, that would be closure and allow us to move on with our dignity and pride, I would have TOTALLY RESPECTED him for being a true gentleman about it.
But no, he chooses to be a wimp, self absorbed, greedy, selfish and a control freak!!
So what now? You REALLY have to force yourself to look at the positive side of your situation, be THANKFUL it was not a long term relationship, be THANKFUL that he did you a favor.
It takes a long time to heal when some one hurts you, I know I have been there and at times if I think about it, yes it still hurts, I just can't imagine hurting someone, and then getting on with life like that person was non existent!!
Those wounds will heal, give yourself time, focus on you, be good to you and know what will serve you when the next relationship comes around.
These types of men don't deserve us, and we don't deserve to have these types of men in our lives.
One other thing, don't allow thoughts of revenge on him, thats a waste of time and energy , one way or another.........lets just say, you get back what you gave out!
Well said, Piscesstar...Yeah I've been doing nothing but blame myself and be down on myself I don't think I need to keep doing that.
Its not him its you. Games in a relationship about love have no place. You thought he was doing something to you so you did it back to him. You not only judjed him as if you were God. You sentenced him and carried out his punishment. He was not only deeply hurt and insulted your actions took away any trust and hope he had for a loving relationship with you. This cannot be saved. You however could become willing to learn the ways of honesty and loving communication.
Hey ladies I just want to say that we all have the potential to stop and walk away when we realize the person we are with isn't "the one". I did it to one of my ex's but I did tell her things weren't working out so I didn't just cut her off without telling her anything. And I would have tried to answer any questions she had had she asked. But by the time I realized she wasn't the one my heart had already moved on, and to be honest I was fooling myself into thinking she was the one from the beginning. I never felt the spark I should have felt from the very beginning but I liked her and hoped that would change, but it never did. I meet the "love of my life" about a month after we brokeup, and like my ex, there wasn't much of a spark from the very beginning, but oh boy did that change. Within a few months I was head over heals in love with this girl. Fast forward 1 year and she left me for another guy. I was devistated and never got any real closure from her, which made it ten times worse. So no, it's not just a Cancer thing or a male thing.
just my $.02 from past experiences with two Cancer men -- they do seem to just be able to disengage after being very emotionally involved. Both broke my heart & took a long time for me to get over. The 1st one did move on very quickly and deluded himself he had found his "missing sock" but she dumped him fairly soon. He jumped into another relationship not long after that, too. He said that he never felt that "spark" with me & that we were just transitional -- but it seems that he only had "transitional" relationships so he could disengage swiftly & have a "reason." The second suddenly became aloof, reverting back to his shell after we had become emotionally very involved. He got very involved with my kids, too, all the while saying he "didn't do family." Suddenly one day he started talking about moving far far away as if I was just his friend and this was no big deal if he left. His sudden emotional distance was difficult on all of us. I have never had the deep intensity in a relationship with any other sign that I had with both Cancers. Both of them are still great sad holes in my heart.
Aquarian men on the other hand, seem to never let go. I have had three long term relationships with Aquarians who all are still waiting for me to come back. Even after they were all the ones who broke up with me. They are too angry, demanding & negative for me. And possessive!
ccfine--that's not what happened.
I think many cancers have issues with saying how they feel obviously. I like the upfront/straightforward approach. And I know not all Cancers are Vanishers like this, just a few bad apples. ..This is what happens when you give your heart to someone and never think they'll stomp all over it.
its how we defend ourselves from being hurt
he can read you better then you think and he obviously is secure enough with himself that he was able to cut you out.
we feel everything around us
and..i think most people take for granted how sincere we are, and when our sincerity is taken for granted and we feel that it isnt reciprocal, we retract into our "shell" or ...simply cut people out.
I have done this in the past many times to many people and do not regret it one bit. I don't waste my time with part-time friends or girlfriends.
And our sincerity is also combined with intensity which many are either turned on or scared off by
in this situation he wasn't taken for granted, i'm sorry if you were.. but i wouldn't do that. i'm the one who gets taken for granted unfortunately..
Though it does not really help the question, but I had similar experiences with my ex cancer guy.. sigh.. all you can do is really get on with your life.. let your light shine.. and he'll certainly see it.. and second thought himself.. but don't give in to him..
There are many reasons a man cuts himsef off. Sometimes bc he aint feeling the "spark" at all, another he is dating more than one, testing waters n going for the one he believes lives up to his expectations, another he could be married n would never leave his wife, another is he culd b stuck in a loveless manipulative marriage he cant get out off properply yet, another he is happily maried but cant help playing around, then there is the female aspects that may or may not drive a man away, n its womens high expectations thats slowly after the initial courtship rears its ugly head. the one who expects he from now on change n do as she says, pay for all as in his money is hers n her money is hers. his money pays it all. Then there is the ive finally found my mr. righr perfect brillaint etc n now im gonna change him, i dont care of him n his emotions its my way or high way.
yeap relationships is a difficult tango it u ask me. It takes 2 to make it work, but 1 to destroy it.
my cancer man also up n closed all lines of communications, however we have great telepathy lines n i know a few great pals who helped me get the lowdown on what went down. including my own psychic powers. trust me, knowing aint a help either.
i could tell u what went on but i wont. Just saying sometimes knowing what goes on doesnt help u cope with the sudden silence at all. It can make it worse.
So i wish u´d do what i did. I relished in the good times n thanked him for being in mylife even briefly, thanking for the lessons taught. N i moved on.
Mayb just mayb ur cancerman was in ur life this brief for a reason. Consider what u learnt through him that u didnt think did b4 u were with him.
In my case, through my cancer man i discovered all the woman i am. through n through. Actually i oughta say ALL the WOMEN i am. The passionate one, the racy one, the humorous one, the serious one, the strung out one, the sad one, the laughing one, the kazing ur buttons one, the peace maker, the cook the sweet listener n so forth n so on.
try if u can to see the gifts u got bc of him,. Dont look at what u lost but at what u gained.
U do know that at times people r only in our lives for a period of time. also everything has a reason. U juss need to focus n think of what reason it might have been. It can lie in what he taught u. best of luck
It's beautiful what you said CWB, that's what i did.. and it did help me move on too.. though i need to hold on tight to myself when he keeps popping in and out of my sight..
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