Mirror Mirror on the wall I am my problems after all



  • When my children would blame others for things not going right in their world I told them I would be more than happy to introduce them to the person who is making their life miserable - then I march them into the bathroom and tell them to look in the mirror. They despised this and I always thought I was SO clever for pointing this out to them. Well here I am 48 years old being taken into the bathroom and being told to look in the mirror! OOOHH that is so irritating! I actually stuck my tongue out at myself - it's an inner-child thing (but I do love her hair color).

    I've been here since November originally asking about something very topical (guy issues on behalf of my daughter) and then something a little more serious (my son and a reoccurring choking dream) which has taken on a life of its own - and then some! I've felt for the past 6+ years our life has been one "crisis" after another. Trust me, some of them really have been; others - not so much.

    What I've discovered is I basically "lost my emotional balance" way back when one thing went bad and I never regained it and it just kept getting more disrupted. I've recently been informed I need to "Stabilize my emotions" because when they’re balanced & you are calm & centered you make better decisions. It can help PREVENT a crisis, help you make better decisions DURING a crisis, & help overcome & understand what you needed to learn AFTER the crisis. And the biggest thing is it will help you realize NOT EVERYTHING IS A CRISIS – really!

    I've had emotion trauma in my childhood, alcoholism, abuse, abandonment by my father (both biological & my "dad"), theft as a family member emptied my savings account and my college plans vanished, financial judgment as I've lived on both sides of the "tracks", emotional health of family members & myself - just your run of the mill family. I can't blame my past or my family or anyone else, I have to do the best I can with what I have and what I know.

    As I am not "gifted" in a spiritual sense I can offer these words of wisdom. When you have reoccurring issues and it seems the world is repeatedly against you walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and see if you are responsible in any way. Ask yourself if you have "Lost Your Emotional Balance" and if you think you have - go back in time to when you think it happened and work your way forward. FORGIVE others and more importantly YOURSELF.

    “You are not the circumstances you find yourself living. You are whomever you become by virtue of the way you live out those circumstances”.

    Love & Blessings from Texas 😃



  • Love it!

    P



  • Very true and insightful. I love your idea of looking at the person causing your problems in the mirror.

    I don't like doing it either and I stick my tongue out as well. But I do get the point. Thanks. I think I'll just march myself right in there now. Yet again.

    I do hope the problems with your son become solved soon, with you guys talking it is a big start. Change could be for the good. Kind of start over.

    Blessings



  • My son is a huge talker about topics HE likes and this isn't one yet he knows he needs to continue down this path with us. We never would have started down this path if it wasn't for insight from the "gifted" on this forum making me look in the mirror (yuck). HUGE discussion about the school and we all believe this is a change for the positive now we just have to see if he gets accepted and how far down he'll be on the wait list.

    Glad ya'll liked it!

    Love & Blessings from Texas



  • Kookish, no need to put people on pedestals labelled "gifted". It is one flat stage and there is plenty of room for you to join us. You are gifted. Believe in it and believe in yourself 🙂



  • Hi Texas,:)

    Just popping in to say hello, I think I'm going to use the mirror first for myself then my 11 year old daughter lol..love it...

    Namaste kookish

    Sheila

    from Vancouver Canada



  • first smile of the day!!!! LOVE IT! I too stick my tongue out at myself---and other times--usually late at night I smooch a kiss and say hey there beautiful. BLESSINGS!



  • Hey MyJourney way up in Canada!

    I started this about the time my daughter was 10 and the first time I told her to look in the mirror she turned off the light and walked out - and it only got better from there HAHAHA! GOOD LUCK!

    Love & Blessings from Texas 😃



  • PisceanHealer,

    Thanks for believing me too - you're always SO encouraging! It's nice to know, we're all here together!

    Love & Blessings from Texas 😃



  • Blmoon,

    Glad it made you smile! I just want to know - did you kiss back? HAHAHA!

    Love & Blessings from Texas 😃



  • Kookish

    Thanks for sharing this will take a leaf out of your book for sure

    Many Blessings Love and Light Loap:)



  • Kookish,

    What an awesome process....why didn't I think of that sooner? Wonder if it would work on a tantrum enraged 3 year old? Hmmmm something to contemplate. But more importantly something to try myself. You touched a chord in me with your love for your children and your willingness to go the extra mile to help them. Know that you are indeed a beautiful soul.

    I too am 48 years old, floundering in my life right now but knowing something better is on the horizon just out of my view yet. I just wanted to say what a pleasure it has been to meet someone like you.

    Mirror Mirror on the wall....



  • ....WE ARE THE COOLEST OF THEM ALL!!! Thanks for the compliment and it's been a pleasure for me as well.

    I'm sorry your "floundering" but you seem to know something is close at hand - that's good. We recently used that same word to describe how we feel about my son's academic performance, we wrote "he's been floundering for awhile, not failing in any stretch he's just not able to establish a solid foundation...". Flounder; (a verb) to struggle; to move with difficulty, as in mud, to behave awkwardly; make mistakes. This is a great word when you know you're not failing but you aren't marching confidently forward.

    I don't know if you feel the same way but it's tough when you just don't know what to do to make it better or easier for yourself or how to move forward more confidently. The tentative steps we take are the worst because you're off balance while taking them, plus you're going slow which gives you time to second guess yourself. I hate that feeling!!! What we're doing is taking a step back until he regains his "balance" this will help him stride more confidently into the future. I hope your "floundering" ends soon my friend.

    For me it's all about BALANCE. I had to step away from the Emotional Tornado I created and smooth out my emotions. I can go from 0 - B_I_T__ in nothing flat and I would do that over the smallest things - non-crisis things. This is where I had to look in the mirror - yuck!

    Aren't tantrums fun! When my son was little he would throw the worst tamtrums & I'd leave him be unless he would go overboard, if he did I'd get about 2 oz of ice cold water (no ice) and threw it in his face. It totally stunned him and he stopped, I guess it sort of brought him back to the moment. Looking back I wonder if this is part of his "trust" issues - haha- not really funny though. Im interested, who's the 3 year old in your life? I can't imagine having a 3 yo child, besides my husband was nuetered 12 years ago - it'd either me a miracle or a sin!



  • Kookish, I love that going from 0 to B I T....in nothing flat. You said a mouthful there for sure. Oh and just to clarify the 3 year old is my granddaughter. Bite your tongue. One crazy daughter was enough for me, I always wanted more kids but the good lord didn't see it that way and now that I look back on it, he was right, it would surely have been the death of me if they were all like my daughter, at times it feels like her teen years are lingering still, she is 23 now......today I feel old.

    Anyway, I'll pop in on your thread from time to time. Keep up the good work.


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