Cancer doesnt want relationship. I love him. Ugh



  • He is a Cancer. I am a Leo.

    Over the last 6 months my friend and I have gotten closer. In Feb and March we took two trips together where we acted like a couple in love. It is completely clear to me that I am in love with him, it is not so clear to him. I am one for taking it slow, but we weren’t just weaving in and out of friends and something more.. whenever we got too close he would blow me off and I could not take the running away. Sunday night he came over and we cooked dinner and were having a great night. Well, until I started talking ). I told him that I wanted to do what was healthiest for us and if we were careless with what we had we would break it. So we could be friends and truly friends only or we could take it to the next level and see where it goes. (The Leo in me needs that consistency). That I was not comfortable in the gray area and did not want FWB. He said he did not want a relationship right now with anyone (translate.. with me). That he was worried though that he would lose the best thing that has happened to him. I said I thought we should take a break from each other with no contact for a month to hit the reset button and come back as friends only. He didn’t like that idea, but I felt that if we did not take a break we would say friends only and then in a week or more be back coupley and then he would blow me off and the cycle would continue.

    I did pull a complete romantic comedy move (Leo!) and when he left after ten minutes I got upset. I texted him to turn around. He came running back into the house and hugged and kissed me, but then said he had to go home to sleep in his own bed. (Not the traditional romantic comedy ending).

    Two days later he posts this on facebook. My spidey senses were tingling. I think it has to do with me, because if not why would he ever post such a thing in the situation we are in?

    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

    I don't know what to do with this Cancer. I want him to break the silence because he loves me, in my dramatic Leo fashion. But, realistically, if he doesnt want a relationship it truly means he is just not in love with me. period. Move on.



  • :S Ohhhh yay. Honestly, what i've found is best in these situations is to, indeed, move on. If you're in love with him and he doesn't want to "be" with you, you're not going to be happy with anything else. If you just wanted a FWB, there would be no problem. But don't underestimate love...it hurts, LOL! So, I'm not exactly sure what your next step should be, but you have to think about what you really want and what you can really handle. He seems to want the pleasures of a relationship without actually being tied down or having to answer to anyone. This also means he can see other people....are you going to be okay with that?

    I don't know his feelings for you, but if he won't commit to you that could be a big problem and you need to figure out if you can really handle that. If not...then, you guys probably do, as you say, need time apart to "restart" and then you can come back together as close friends. Just my 2 cents.



  • In the same situation. I'm learning that cancers are the most scared, insecure people ever!



  • Court99 u urself blew it. u told him what u wanted and his plans was twarted. he acts bc he respects ur wishes. his coming back is a try o change ur mind, but he knows u well enough once u made ur mind up it sticks. N now u whine that u dont get him?

    he respected ur wishes n moved on. In a sense u practically kicked him out of the door.

    this is what he heard all rest he did not at all:

    "I told him that I wanted to do what was healthiest for us and if we were careless with what we had we would break it. So we could be friends and truly friends only "

    sorry to say this but this hon is ur own doing. If u want it fixed get off ur butt n change. non can but u. that is if he wants to get back with u at all., free will n all.

    another thing is, when a cancer man utters his mind, he is down to the truth, core of the bone. if it confused u ill try n translate carve it out for u.

    "

    I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

    he says he knows that what u heard him say is what he means. BUT in simple terms u think wrong of what he said. Nor what he meant to say at all.

    its made puzzled so non else gets the drift of it.

    in communications what we send aint always taken as we send it. example

    yo ho can have 2 meanings, 1. did u call me a ho? 2. yo ho r u now a pirate?

    So again, what he said is not what u in ur head had it to be.

    Ill end again with ur own words of what he heard:

    "I told him that I wanted to do what was healthiest for us and if we were careless with what we had we would break it. So we could be friends and truly friends only "

    "But, realistically, if he doesnt want a relationship it truly means he is just not in love with me"

    Last again, hon u urself blew it. Only u can change it.

    cwb

    ps ANY man REGARDLESS of sign would have done the same thing. Why go on when the one u wish to b with doesnt want more than juss a friendship`? why invest init then?



  • court99

    Is this what he said:

    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

    If you love a man, stop playing games with yourself and with him. Why would you tell someone you want to be friends if you love them romantically? because then, you are lying.

    And then , he isn't being honest. Be open, and true with your heart, mind and words.


Log in to reply