Long affairs ( mine, 11 years )

  • I've gone through this rollercoaster ride of will she and I finally be live together. What do women think when they have been seeing a man over 11 years. Without filing for divorce. Money?, I'm I just weekend sex? I need some serious direction. NOW. I'm losing it ...........She is my soulmate.

    What is holding her up?

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  • Sorry lininneed I completely understand what you are going through. Have been seeing a man

    for 3 yrs. Has given every excuse in the book for not getting a divorce. There will always be an

    excuse and Im at the point where I have no faith in his promises anymore. I have given him

    an ultimatum that if he doesnt show me divorce papers the relationship will be over.

    Though I love him with all my heart the lonliness and taking second place is simply not worth

    it. Damaging my self esteem, also not worth that. Just remember that you deserve more.

    You deserve a real commitment. Hang tough.

  • Speaking from the formerly married half, I was out of love with my husband well before I met my current love. I just needed that reason, the nudge to remember I deserved love, REAL love. I'm now divorced, and we only knew eachother for a year before I realized there was no point in being married if my heart was with someone else. If this person really truly loves you, divorce will be the only option to them. They'll climb mountains, cross oceans, fight through piles of paperwork, to be with you. I'm not going to say she doesn't love you, but after 11 years there really needs to be a line drawn. Good luck, if this doesn't work out don't give up on love! That person who will love you completely and without hesitation is just waiting for you.

  • lynninneed why in the world would you hook up with someone who is married? do you not know the damage both of you have caused? run do not walk away from this relationship. for what ever her reasons she is not leaving her husband. It is not fair to her husband or you she is getting what she wants without the effort of commitment to you or her husband

  • My story is much like LittleBuddha. I have been in that boat too, but not for that long. The thing that kept me from leaving right away - which admittedly I should have as the marriage was a complete joke - was the fear of losing my house and everything I owned. Fear of losing the (new) man as well. Fear of not being able to make it on my own. Fear of being branded for doing "such a thing".

    Fear and guilt, plain and simple.

    So after a year of the affair I decided to end the marriage. My then-H decided he wanted to try again. I agreed, knowing though that I really did not love him, had not for many years, and I really wanted to be with the other man. So after a few months we started to end things all over again and that took another year from the time he said he wanted to try to the time he got his things in order and moved out. It was really a nerve wracking experience, very difficult on everyone involved.

    That said, 11 years IS a very long time.

  • dawn and shylow hi g.t.w

  • just because you feel she is your soul mate, even if it's true, doesn't mean you have to be or will be together. the focus on soul mate, is on the soul and the evolution journey each soul is taking to achieve enlightenment, the ultimate ascendancy.

    basically it means, each of us by free will choose our experience and the experience will either halt or advance the soul's journey.

    Look at what you've done for her, and what has she done for you all this 11 years. How do you feel? Look at it with detachment, because emotional attachment will not help you right now. Love itself is an experience. You have experienced love, that's great. Now, what do you need to experience: waiting much longer, or shake the dust off and start a new?

    Love is the essence of Creation. The Light that is Prime Creator creates from Love. It's so powerful it renders you powerless. But you know what your soul needs to advance and you have the free will to decide what to do. Whatever decision you choose, always look within and go with the soul.

  • 11 years is a long time to endure this. I am concerned for what it has done to your self esteem. We are deeply drawn to certain people in our lives but there does take some self restraint to not act on it. Not to mention self respect. I am not judging, I did the triangle thing myself decades ago. For your own sake on behalf of your Spirits sake and your self esteem etc let it go. When you create space for something healthy to walk in you'll see the difference. She's clogging up that space.

    Good luck


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