Looking for a little help



  • I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. He's finally moved to be with me, and it's been absolutely wonderful. But, it seems my two year old daughter is having trouble adjusting. When the three of us are together, typically we can all play happily. But he watches her while I'm at work and he's very upset that she more often than not won't warm up to him. She cries for me, and will hide if he tries to speak to her or help her. Getting her from her crib is a challenge. I believe in my heart she just needs time, and he knows this as well, but it's so upsetting for me. I want them both to be happy and just have no idea how to make it so. Can anyone give me any clues as to why she's being this way, or anything I might do to help her open up to him? Please, feel free to ask me any questions that might help you.

    Thank you!



  • She is just a baby and he is a stranger. My daughter was the same way. I often had to leave class to rush home cs the person watching her couldn't cope w/ her crying. Whoever is holding the energy needs to be calm. Maybe he should meditate and not judge her behavior so. The more internal quiet the adults have w/ill give a sense of security to the child.

    Good luck

    P



  • I've been thinking of having us do yoga together every night... can't hurt. He doesn't judge her so much as feel hurt by it. And then I have to try and placate him and her and I just don't know if what I'm doing is enough or if I can do something different. Or if I should do anything at all because I'm making it worse or I don't know. I just don't understand how we can be so happy all together and then when I'm gone it disappears.



  • There is fear here, born from you or your guy. Or both. Your daughter is picking up on it and reacting to it as if the fear is hers alone.

    You both need to write your fears down, whatever they may be, be it related to this situation or not. Give yourself permission to feel those fears. Breathe them out of your body and allow them to pass into Mother Earth as a give-away; i.e. "I am releasing these fears to the Universe to deal with."



  • Hmmmm, very very true. This will definitely be done soon, as I know we both have quite a few. Thanks PisceanHealer!!



  • Sweetie she's a baby!!!!!!!! Your her mom she needs you now and there is no fix here. Let them be. They will be fine together. If she is safe in his hands than don't fret. It's hard w/ little ones cs we often don't know what's wrong. But sounds like she's just very attached to you. Every mother goes thru this when they work... it's hard. He needs to mellow out and not take it personally. If she is crying constantly and thoroughly miserable find a more confident happy caretaker. Look to her needs not his.

    Cheers P


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