She wont take me back or even TALK to me, help!! (short story)

  • So theres this girl Victoria right.. that i'm like totally in love with, and have been for really almost 2 years now. Anyways, we first met at work.. where we started talking and soon became really close friends.. I mean, close enough to the point where we would often even cuddle and sleep together(no sex).. after about a year of this I did something that in hindsight, probably wasn't the best idea. I just couldn't control myself! I basically spilled my guts and told her how I felt. There was this sort of awkward feeling in the air.. and in not so few words- told me that she really only saw me as a friend. OUCH. I acted like it was ok no problem, but this really screwed my head up, and I noticed after I said that we were still real close but she began to distance herself a little.

    So at this point im in this sort of paniced frenzy. I start scouring the internet for advice or guidance.. and I came across this one website: .. Which is this online dating/attraction learning course type thing. So long story short I wound up signing up for it... Much of the info, lessons, and things it teaches you didn't quite click or make sense to my logic at the time. But after my amazing screw-up.. I was jus like fuck it, nothing much to lose. So I started employing these methods.. And long story short.. this shit worked fucking INCREDIBLY.. I can't quite explain it, this girl just ate it all up. All I can say.. at least for me, everything we think females want, or like, or what makes sense.. you can bet is almost the EXACT opposite. It's incredible. Women are really strange ill-logical creatures.. no offense to any girls out there. Anyways, after a couple months of this going back and forth we eventually wound up in a relationship, and even had sex a couple times.. it was amazing and so surreal it all happened so fast... so onto my question-

    I guess with my newfound "game" .. I got a little too ahead of myself and wound up meeting this girl off myspace and ended up having sex with her.. Then one day Vic was at my house and I left my myspace page open.. she went snooping and discovered EVERYTHING.. I don't even know what I was thinking when I decided to go off and do this.. but she confronted me, I was dumbfounded lost for words, she smacked me SO hard across my face, told me she hated me n never wanted to speak 2 me again.. then left. I truly am sorry I could give a shit about this other girl. For the past week I've been trying to contact her every day and shes COMPLETELY avoiding me.. it's driving me fucking insane. I had everything I ever wanted and totally fucked it up .. Is there any way to turn this thing around?? =( Help!

  • This will take time and tons of effort. You may have seriously messed things up. FOR A WOMEN YOU CAN TALK ALL YOU WANT ,DOING IS BETTER! If you do not give up and keep trying she may get the picture. If you loved her so much why did you talk with another girl??

  • I'm not going to sugar coat this, it's bad, really bad. Learn what you can from this experience and never mess with a good thing again!

  • No way in hell to fix it - you screwed you loose!

  • Hi,

    Am i missing something here? Only i thought Vic had decided to cool it since you told her how you truly felt?

    Sounds to me like the woman doesn't know her arse from her elbow.

    What gives her the right to slap you at all given the fact you didn't have a relationship in the first place?

    I think you've been extremely patient with Vic in the past and you seem to be a healthy male.

    If i were you i'd tell her to get real or get out. Don't be afraid to do this, if she's any good for you it'll make her think about how she truly feels about you too. She can't be jealous if she doesn't care.

    Verdana, 🙂

  • Hi, Well, you can bet she's getting advice too. It's probably not very favorable. It's gonna take awhile for the dust to settle. Seems like this dating site worked wonders for you but there are real people involved.

    I think you should continue to be honest w/her. I'm not sure it'll help. I'm also unclear as to whether you and V had a serious relationship. I guess it was turning that way.

    You did good advertising for the website lol.

  • i'm sorry darlin' but you have just learned a very valuable lesson...You my dear are not ready for a real relationship! Please... Stop letting your little head think for your big head and then maybe just maybe you will meet the right person to be with. Or maybe you will just realize that you really did not love Vicky, because if you did ---you wouldn't have cheated on her. You would have told her that you were not looking for anything but some (you know what) and if she couldn't deal with it, then she should just keep it moving.

    Men cannot handle multiple partners in secret....they will f**K up every time, no matter how smart they THINK they are, WOMEN are much smarter. Believe me...I have been there done that many,many times. You need to forget about this woman, IMMEDIATELY because if you keep trying to get her back you will ruin her self-esteem and yours, too. First you need to grow a BACKBONE and then when you have grown up a little bit, you will be able to be truthful with yourself and any woman you deal with in the future.

  • I say read Verdana's response and forget the rest lilxronnie. If you were not in a romantic relationship, and it was Victoria's choice that that was so, then she had no right to slap your face, and should not have in any case. She is mixed up, has no claim on you romantically, so.....You both sound very young. Could you both take a step back, withhold judgements and maybe meet for a candid talk once the dust has settled? Either that, or retreat with dignity and realise that life goes on and there will be other relationships potentially that may just offer you a more secure basis? Take a deep breath.... this is not the end of the world. There are many lovely, secure and direct girls out there who are waiting to meet you. Good luck.

  • I myself agree with veranda,you told victoria how you felt and she decided to distance herself from you.why?did you ask her that?she was willing to be friends with you after and happened to be in your room at the time she saw this page that is your's.Then she slaps you after reading whatever was on your page and leaves.Unless there is something you are leaving out,i feel in my opinion that she had no right to be snooping and is was her decision to be just friends so yeah she might have feelings for you but she to me is messed up.The other girl is who i feel sorry for,you have, lets just say sexual relations with her and say you could care less about her and pondering over a chic who slaps you after a fit of jealousy hits her when claiming to just wanting to be friends,am i correct?well,if so then maybe its one of those what if the shoe was on the other foot things.boy likes girl..girl rejects boy and stays friends then girl likes boy... boy rejects girl because he wants another...kinda like karma..ok in a better way for you to did what you had to with victoria and she of course said nothing but lets be friends.then you meet a girl who you find thats makes you feel happy and when a friend who happens to be victoria sees something not meant for her eyes to see gets mad,which by the way was completely immature on her part leaves without explaining why,and now you are lost and dont know what to do...heres a thought,leave her alone its games that she seems to play and if she acts like this as friends how is she gonna act when you are in a relationship?As for the other girl, man i can honestly say you got what you deserved.Move on and let it the others said there are others out there for you but first be open and honest about what you both want at the begining...its only fair.i am not trying to bash you,just my opinion thats made a mistake okay you are not a bad person just remember dont be selfish there are other peoples feelings in this too.sorry this was long lol it was hard to put it in a couple of sentences..

  • To Verdana, isismelting75 and carlajo1- Excuse me but did you miss the part where he said "Anyways, after a couple months of this going back and forth we eventually wound up in a relationship..." Okay, that said, Victoria had EVERY right to slap him - he screwed around on her AFTER they began a relationship!

    To lilxronnie187- Okay, you screwed up big time. You found a "new toy" in the dating lessons and you decided to employ it on someone else after you got the love of you life. Sounds like you were not satisfied with winning over Victoria alone, you had to see if it worked on others. You, my friend, need to realize that women aren't to be used like a little game - we are much more complex than you and in the end you lose.

  • lilxronnie187 - I think perhaps you should stop relying on the dating website and the other website you was on the other week to increase the size of a certain part of your anatomy (I'm referring to your posts a week or so ago) and concentrate on developing interests and hobbies so that you can be mentally stimulating ....that is just as important as physical stimulation! No, V shouldn't have been snooping and she shouldn't have slapped you....but at the end of the day she felt used and stupid and angry and frustrated. Concentrate on one girl at a time in future, be interested in her and enjoy her company and your lovelife will be fulfilled and your life will be a lot happier.

  • Be patient, be honest. So girls will forgive and some won't ..She was hard to get in the first place but whatever worked might work again. It never hurts to keep trying but not to look desperate, its really hard to read people you are right. I was totally in love with someone who I thought we had a lot in common, I was staying at his house, he gave me a key, then he had to move away and invited the ex to come visit him twice instead of me. It hurt for a long time but you finally recover. Good Luck. I hope things work out. Just try her once a week or so. Invite her to a movie, drinks, dinner...anything that might get her to smile. Maybe one day you will catch her down and she will see what a great guy you are again....

  • Hi Pattysings,

    That is the reason i asked am i missing something here, because the way i read the post was that he'd joined the dating site and met someone else who eventually he had a relationship with after Vic had decided to cool it. The message i received from his post was that he and Vic had never got around to a sexual relationship which is the reason i said she had no right to snoop or to go crazy as she did.

    Yes it is a hard lesson to learn if it was Vic he'd had sex with then gone off to sleep with another girl. So maybe we should wait to find out from Lilxronnie himself before continuing with more of the discussion.

    Thanks for drawing my attention to your thoughts and i await the response from the man himself. I'm big enough to admit if i got it wrong and read it in the wrong context.

    Verdana 🙂

  • Hope she isn't a scorpio or a capricorn or your ****ed. Think to yourself "Am I in love or obsessed with her? If I were in love I would have never crossed the line and cheated. Period!." If she is a scorp, forget it , She will never have you back.

  • PattiSings --- I JUST happened upon this post a few minutes ago.....and I am reading and reading......... and thinking

    "How fast Can I Tell These People....YES DUH YOU MISSED IT!!!"

    I get to this page and, Thank God....You set them straight! I thought it would never end with the wrong flip advice!

    T H A N K Y O U!

    If you think you are missing probably are.

    Read it again.

    Yep.....she's gone.

  • RNRChick

    I think you about summed it up!

  • I agree that you aren't ready for a real relationship. First of all, your question sounds like a 15 year old girl. Second of all, your priorities are fucked. Third, if you can't keep it in your pants, you don't really love her. If she has any self respect, she'd never go out with you again. Hopefully, if you really care about her, you would understand that and wouldn't find a way to force her to.

  • LeoLover

    another perfect answer! Ta Da!

  • Thank you Patty sings, I almost didn't get this far in reading all the post's to this gentlemen. I wouldn't be surprised if all 4 were boys oops I mean guys because they surly arent men. They seem to skip right over the part of he and vic having sex together and an unfolding relationship.

    How convenient. then off they go spouting off B.S. boys well be boys.

    To the one who made this post

    unfortunately your ego got the better of you. lesson learned hopefully

  • If you loved her truely, you would not have two timed her. Karmically you get what you deserve, you were not thinking of the consequences and, if she had not found out would you have continued living with both of them until YOU decided who you wanted to be with, all that has happened is the decision has been taken out of your hands.

    This is a life lesson, the object of your desire could still be available to you but there will be many bridges to build and there will always be a lack of trust in you.

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