Im entirely lost.. may i please recieve guidance and advice? captain? =/

  • I have recently joined and just today signed up for forums. I hope some of you may help me with my current situation =/

    Name: Branddy

    DOB: 04/11/1992

    Sun sign: Aries

    Ascendent: Leo

    Moon: Capricorn

    Lately I have been going through a lot and I feel so alone, isolated, depressed, and as though no one around me can truly and fully understand me. My parents are currently going through a divorce. They fought on Saturday and at the same hour I felt almost pressured by my father to decide who i would like to stay with. i feel as though everyone in my house hold turns to me for advice and issues and addresses me as an adult. never once have i felt as though i was the needy child crying for attention. Recently i felt as though I was receiving many signs of myself abruptly coming to a time where i have to make a very vital decision in my life that will be crucial to my future. i ask for guidance and advice as to how would be the best way to deal with my current situation? how may i overcome it?

    i also have a friend that i recently became close to and i have helped him the very best way i could in every way possible without ever once asking/expecting/feeling as though i need something in return from him. he even admitted to me one day that out of everybody i was the least he would expect any/this much help from. but.. i feel when we stop seeing each other and stop talking for a few days (2-4 days) everything in his life is going well but as soon as i step back into his life something terrible happens. is this bad coincidence?

    i feel like i carry so much mixed emotions within me. although i know it is not good to keep my feelings bottled up within me but when i try to express my feelings they never come out. all my life i grew up as though i had no one to turn to. i was the independent middle child who was expected to fail and struggle in life (but now i am seen to have the higher possibility to success), hardly sick, i cried alone, hid my feelings, and throughout my life i have learned to hide my pain from everybody..literally.. i think that i have learned to hide my emotions so well that even i am now numb. On a side note, i had a broken heart not too long ago which i take blame for partial cause. and sometimes i wonder if due to this reason of heartache.. i have then thrown away my feelings towards love, affection, relationships, commitment, etc to the side and deep down consider it as a waste of my time and energy that will only result in pain, loss, and ache. I will admit that i made this person my first priority... and did everything i could just to please this person. That ONE time i give my everything to someone and for ONCE, i felt so right being with someone.. it ended up being absolutely nothing. what is the best way to deal with all my emotions?

    i was actually always a strong believer in spirits ever since i had a real experience when i was a child. but please, i ask for guidance and seek advice for i have never felt so lost, alone, confused, helpless, and broken before.

    i thank you all very deeply,


  • Brandy, you have got to know the limits of helping people - otherwise if you just keep giving them help without letting them stand on their own feet and make their own decisions, they then become dependent on you and can't manage by themselves. Don't give your time and energy away endlessly - just until the people around you can manage by themselves. If you are always there for others and neglect your own needs, you will end up feeling drained and frustrated - just as you are now. You have to learn to say 'no' when it is appropriate. Spending some time on yourself is not selfish but a necessity. You have to learn to tell the difference between a genuine cry for help from someone, and what is just attention-seeking or laziness or a reluctance to rely on their own resources. With your parents, it is all about their egos and who their children love more. Don't get into this ego battle. Learn to choose your involvements more wisely. Take time for yourself and what you want. It's not always right to put others first - they must genuinely need help.

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