Hello, my dearest Watergirl!
I have not forgotten about you! Just been caught up in a lot. Mostly my mind :0/ so much going on in my life right now. Just trying to stay sane!
I had written to you a month and a half ago and told you how much I appreciated your insight and how much of it was so true. It was very confusing for you at the time so I meant to shed some light ever so long ago. My deepest apologies!
You read my cards but were very uncertain as to whom the cards were referring to. You asked me if there was one or two men involved. I told you that it could be 2 men because I had ended a relationship with one man and finally opened to the door for another man. You went on to tell me that it was still unclear as to how it all intertwined but gave it a whirl. You told me that you saw an old flame coming into my life but that the reunion of whatever sort would soon end. You saw another man, either the same person or a different man coming back into my life but you could not figure out which man it would be, if it were even between 2 men. You told me this man is unailable somehow - perhaps he was with another person. You told me that I would meet other men but that this man would stay in my heart. Another man would not be able to take his place. After some time, you (again) saw that at this point, this man would still be unavailable and again you questioned whether he may be tied to someone else in some way. You asked the cards how long this would go on for and found that in July/August I would not be able to take it any longer and I will not accept things the way they are any longer. You then asked the cards what this man was like, personality-wise, in an attempt to further clarify which man this would be. You got that he was either an Aries or had similar traits to an Aries. He would be stubborn, confident, hardworking and most likely a director or a manager of some sort because he can work alone. I believe I covered all bases! I hope this rings a bell!
As for a clarification/update to your reading, I will say this
The first man I was with would be M. The second one is D. I fell head over heels for D within 2 months and he broke things off with me abruptly. This was about 1 month prior to your reading. I would ignore him in the bar that we both frequent and carry my life out without even looking his way. Slowly but surely he began to come to me acting quite bashful and say hello and goodbye to me in the bar. One night he even leaned in and kissed me on the cheek... weird. His sister still initiates conversation with me over the internet. His friends approach me just to talk and barely know them. Things seem like maybe hes just shy or felt overwhelmed - we went to Vegas together after knowing each other for less than 2 months and he just shut it off as soon as we got back (well, 3 days after).
ANYWAY, I'm going off of the topic! So suddenly, after all this,he goes cold. And I mean COLD. Never acknowledges me, stares at me but won't ever speak to me. His friends tell me hes a good man but hes just.. weird. He's going through a bad time in his life. He wasn't ready for a relationship. He doesn't know to handle how cool I am about things. He's not happy. He's getting plastered and driving home like an idiot a lot. These are all things coming to me randomly from his friends, individually, by their own initiation. Now I see him at the gym - saw him for the first time today. He walked right past me at the trashcan to throw something out and says nothing, won;t even look at me. He told me to f*** off in a text message on my BIRTHDAY (February 13th)! We don't ever talk through text like he would at first. I tell him "There's no need for this parallel universe we're living in - at least give me a smile and a nod :0)" then BAM!!!! Text reply: "F*** off".
WHAT DID I DO?!? It's insane - I just don;t understand. As far as I know, I have not done anything to deserve this silent nothingness.
On top of that, the FIRST guy I was with that I meantioned right after you did the reading... we started to talk a little here and there too but it wasn't because I wanted to be with him. I believe I was just hurting from dealing with D and still hurting from OUR past. Recently I pretty much emliminated him from my life bc he just makes me feel so inadequate - Like I'm nood good enough or I'm only good for something to please him. I'm assuming this may be the old flame that ends quickly but it makes more sense for it to have all been D since he was fine then totally did a 360 on me.
Either way, through all the pain and emptiness, anger and defeat and all the hurt I've been feeling because of the way D has been acting - my heart still beats for him. I can't help it - to me its not just some heartsick abuse story or anything. I give him the benefit of the doubt because he was such a good man and I believe its still in him - don't believe that right now, this is really him. I can't help but wonder why his friends are coming to me telling me what a mess he is and how hes not doing well. I just wonder - what is WRONG with him?! How does one just change like that? I just want to be his friend right now - I miss him. I miss the D I got to know and fell for when I least expected it or even wanted it. I DO try to talk to other men. None of them compare. He raised the bar for me - it doesn't sound like hes good to me now, obviously. But before - he was amazing He treated me better than anyone has in my life. And he IS like an Aries, stubborn, confident, hardworking - the other traits you had mentioned did not come to mind but he did fit the bill. And his job title? He is the DIRECTOR of Sales for a hotel. And yes, he does work well alone. He would one day like to become his own boss - its something that he thinks of often. I believe that when you say hes "unavailable" - he could very well be seeing someone else... he's at least TRYING to. He has a dating profile....
... but he could very well be EMOTIONALLY unavailable as well - THATS what it seems like at times.
I'm so confused, Watergirl. :0( I did't write to you for insight necessarily, I trust that in time, change will manifest itself. I just HAD to tell you how dead on you just about are. When you said that "a turbulent time would finally come to an end around July/August" - it's odd that you said that because since I cannot change the situation at hand and I can only make changes to myself, I have decided to lose weight for real this time - meaning alll the way. I'm overweight, though you can't really tell at first glance (I hide it quite well). I have never been my normal weight in my entire life so I'm trying to lose that 45-50 lbs. I calculated that if I could lose about 2 lbs per week, I could acheive my goal by... dah-dahdah-DAH! July/August :0). I feel that this goes hand in hand only because by that time I will finally feel free of insecurity and would gain a much higher level of love and respect for myself. It's crazy - I truly do feel that soon enough I'm going to burst and REFUSE to accept things the way they are. He was just too damn amazing to me dspite his little Virgoan quirks. I really fell for this guy - pretty hard
In hindsight, I think you're an amazing person though we haven't spoken much on here. You have a wonderful talent and I thank you so so much for your insight. I hope all of this will ring a bell and will boost your confidence, whether it needs it in this area or not. Please feel free to give me any feedback if you feel so compelled to. I would love to know that you have at least been able to read an internalize this novel, as erratic as it may be written haha! I need sleep!
I wish you the best life has to offer you for today and for always :0)
With much love,
Hello my dear! I was just wondering about you a day or so ago And thank you for the insight into your situation - now I understand why the reading was so confusing (LOL!). I don't think I will have time today, but I really would like to do another reading on you and "D" if you don't mind. That "birthday" text is quite disturbing! I should be able to get to it tomorrow...
Ironic that we thought of each other :0) You're quite welcome for the insight, I felt terrible that it took me so long to post it! Take your time, I appreciate your offer. That would be amazing! I am soo so confused by his actions. Typical Virgo behavior but jeez.... getting pretty hard to swallow right about now lol. I will patiently await your reading. I don't know if you ever dabble with birthdays but just in case, "D"'s birthday is 9-27-80 around 6 am (slight guess) and mine is 2-13-84 (12:41 am).
Thanks again my sweet Watergirl - you're the best :0)
Yes, I do "dabble" in birthdays! The birth times are important, but I also need the location of the birth for it to really shed light. Were you born in New York? Do you know where he was born?
I knew I should have told you the birthplaces! Silly me. Actually, I was born in Passaic, NJ which is very close to NY. Good guess!! He was born in Philadelphia, PA I believe. If not Langhorne, PA. I'm pretty sure its Philadelphia though. Either way they're about 25 mins apart at most.
P.S. I saw him at the bar tonight. I play Quizzo on Tuesdays. I used to never see him there on Tuesdays until after he ended our 2 month rendez vous. He did a lot of staring (per usual) and even watched a guy talk to me, yet not 1 word was spoken! He's a killer I tell ya...
I haven't forgotten about you! Tomorrow is your day
Just got this - Thank you!
Ahhhhh! Where has the time gone? So sorry honey, I had some major stuff come up yesterday and now I'm in the midst of my "monthly" pain, which for some reason tends to interfere with my readings - go figure! I think it's just a signal to be good to myself and rest. I should be better by tomorrow or Monday at the latest. I also wanted to look up some new astrology stuff with the north nodes and pre-birth eclipses. Need to go buy the book tomorrow
Hey its no problem, really. I have the patience of a saint so take as much time as you need :0) Be well
Oh, my dear, I have to say this reading was difficult for me once again. This time because I see so much in you, him and your situation in my past experience...right down to his job title!
I have to just come right out and say it bluntly - like ripping off the band-aid - there is no future here with this man. He has some major issues and you cannot help him with them. This man showed up in your life to teach you a lesson about yourself...lessons regarding your sense of self-worth. Please do not keep thinking that you will have able to help or "save" him in some way because you cannot. He is cocky and charismatic on the outside, but on the inside he suffers from some pretty serious self-doubt, lack of confidence, insecurity, etc. which is why he is suffering from depression and dealing with it by over-indulging in alcohol and God knows what else. He uses you to make himself feel better. I'm not saying it is a conscious, malicious thing - it may be subconscious - but the fact of the matter is this is not healthy for you.
You are being given a very clear, very strong message to walk away from this man. I also have to say that I feel like there is going to be an "opportunity" to reconnect with this man in the future, but it will onlly be a se*xual conquest on his part and will NOT turn into a rekindled relationship. Your angels and guides want you to be strong and walk away!!!
Last, but not least, when I originally told you that you would be "holding a candle" for this man it did not mean that you should be. I thought that was clear, but I think it did not come across clearly. I had someone else do the same thing with another reading - I told her that she would be "wanting what was rightfully hers to be returned" however this did not mean that he actually was "rightfully hers" just that she FELT he was. Please let go of the nostalgia you are holding on to over this man. He is so clearly not the one for you based on the messages I got for you today. I am not sure I have ever received such a clear and almost adamant message...
Take some time to work on yourself. You have no reason to be, but you do feel unworthy (whether you realize this or not). Heal yourself and the right man will appear, I promise.
All that being said, my heart truly goes out to you. Please let me know if you need further assistance or guidance.
I was afraid of this.
I can sense that from him myself, I KNOW he is depressed, I KNOW he has serious issues, especially since the loss of his father, and I KNOW I can't "save" him. I DO believe that to save himself it has to come from within and I've always been "that woman" that can see inside of a man and love him for the man I know he can be. This is where I get myself in trouble.
I have a belief that I can at least help him see what he has to do or see that he has a serious problem that needs to be addressed by not giving up and one day being able to tell him look, I know who you try to be on the outside and you're not fooling anyone. Its hard to explain but I've ALWAYS ended up sticking it out until one day I would stop trying and a year, 2 years later - whatever amount of time, the man ALWAYS comes back to tell me how I was right, how I was such a good woman for seeing that and how sorry they were for treating me the way they did. Its like a part of me KNOWS I'm worth SOMETHING, theres something within me that is very magnetic and very powerful I just don't know exactly what it is or how to use it without putting myself down so low. But really, I've always been that woman. And for once, I felt that this man KNOWS this about me but cannot bring himself to just face his demons and give in. It makes me so angry and so sad - he was the best man I've ever had - until he started getting so weird. At first when he broke it off with me he started becoming so shy and awkward - slowly but surely he started to come to me and say hello and goodbye. Even leaned in a kissed me one night Then one day it vanished. He's been so cold and now he completely ignores my existence..
I just don't understand why every man does this to me. I'm too wonderful of a woman to be treated nicely then just dropped the way I have been. Just when I think I've found a man that can just treat me right and keep on that way, a switch is flicked and I'm suddenly disregarded. It just doesn't make sense - there are so many women that are like me that DON'T get this kind of treatment and there are so many women that are just plain rude and undeserving and STILL get better treatment.... it makes NO sense. At all.
I've been working on myself. I'm currently trying to move out of my parent's house and going to the gym, all of that jazz. Even after all of this I just don't believe that he's going to be this way for the rest of his life. I still feel that I have the power to at least help him become aware. I just don't see us continuing to live in this parallel universe we live in forever. His sister barely knows me and still initiates conversation with me on Facebook. Asks me how I'm doing, specific things about my apartment search and things of that nature - she's actually interested in having a friend of mine do pictures for his neice's 1st birthday even. I don't understand why she and all of his friends still talk to me the way they do. Granted, I am a popular person by definition and well-liked and respected but it just baffles my mind how his own friends will leave him sitting at the bar to come and talk to me! And I would love to know why his friends make it a point to keep me aware of how badly D is doing. It makes me so so upset to hear this.
I don't care that he told me to "F off" I still can't help but think that he doesn't know how else to deal with me but to be mean. He's dated b*tches and drug addicts but then he meets me, a sweet, compassionate, understanding woman and he decides to be this mean? His friend once told me, "you know, I reeeeally don't think D knows how to deal with how cool you are about all of this. I dunno how bad his past relationships were but I do know that they were definitely less than perfect" I believe it! I feel like he doesn't want to like me bc hes too busy being so self-destructive so instead hes mean to me to ward me off. I used to point out his flaws very slightly without even meaning to - like when he was drinking one time, I said, "man, you really took that one down quick!" just being funny, I wasn't even complaining and he said "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO NEGATIVE?" WHOA there, buddy - way to act guilty of being an alcoholic.... I didn't even mean it that way.
Watergirl, I can't help but to feel that he pushes me away bc he knows I'm too good for him and he knows that I know he's a mess. I feel like he doesn't want me to be a part of his world bc he's so ashamed of it. I seriously feel that if he would just wake up and realize that I'm the type of woman he always should have been with things would be different and I'm not saying I can make him do that bc I can't. I'm powerless in this situation but my heart it still with him. He just seems like a big baby to me that in reality wants to cry on someone's shoulder - if he would let them in. And he won't. There's gotta be a way to wake him up :0(
I'm just a woman that can see through people and can give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm very forgiving, very understanding and I've been applauded for this many times in my lifetime - I can't just not be "me". This is so very hard for me not to be
Aw, sweetie, you need to realize that you are actually seeking these men out on a subconscious level. Why do you want to be with someone that needs to be saved? Why not be with someone who can give to you in the same manner that you give to him? This is about your self-worth. You have intrinsic value and do not need to prove it....you do not have to save someone to be valuable. This guy has to heal himself. He will push ANY woman away who gets too close because he has intimacy issues. Please do not hold out hope for him as it only hurts you. If you can't move on while still having a relationship with his sister, then politely tell her that you cannot be friends with her because of your history with her brother. Tell his friends (and the sister, for that matter) that if they want to be friends with you then they need to respect your boundaries - they CANNOT talk to you about him. And if you can't be friends with them without asking them about this guy or then obsessively thinking about this guy, then don't be friends with them. Be cordial, say hello, whatever, just don't get sucked in. And if you can't do that, then FIND A DIFFERENT BAR or some other activity to do that will keep you away from it all. I know it's tough, but you can do this. You really can.
Ur absolutely right. I keep falling for men that are less than perfect bc I find happiness in helping them see themselves and what they're capable of - then they leave me high and dry. I just always feel that I'm understanding and can let my guard down far enough to say hey, I'm not perfect either. I just always feel that someday one of these men WON'T take me for granted and realize my meaning behind it - not to have them think I'm just low in self worth.
And you're right. He DOES have SERIOUS intimacy issues. He started to become more and more distant and cold the minute I showed that I liked him more than I initially acted. He was like a lovesick puppy when I was "whatever" about him. Now I'm the lovesick puppy. It makes me sick to realize how many times I've been down the same road. I really thought he was different. He's just the same guy in a different body. Shame on them for treating me the way they do - shame on me for allowing them to.
I'm going to try my best to stop caring so much as hard as it is for me. I feel like I'm giving up on something with great potential because I put so much energy into it. Maybe thats just what has been screwing me up. It still makes me SO sad. Its hard to get away from him - I see him everywhere and I can't handle his eyes on me. My heart beats soooo rapidly for him :0( I really wish he were different
Thnak you for all of your insight. I really appreciate it. You've said the same things that others on this site have said to me so it has to be a sign. Please wish me luck.
P.S. How do I get in touch with my angels?? Is this possible??
Also, just to add - it's very hard for me letting go bc I know hes literally killing himself. He's 30 and has high blood pressure, drinks far more than he should and I know he does pills. He told me that he didn't care about himself, he'll never have enough money to travel to the places he wants to travel and do the things he wants to do so if he ever died of an overdose he would know that he died a happy man. This hurts me so badly. Besides myself, I'm telling you - hes a good man. And worth so much more. Why must he feel this way :0(
We all have our obstacles to overcome as we journey down our path in life and he has to overcome this one on his own. What I mean to say is, when he is ready he will reach out for help or seek help with his addictions - all the "love" and "support" and "coddling" you want so much to give him will not get him there. It has to come from within him. Unfortunately, the person usually has to hit rock bottom first. THIS IS NOT YOUR WOUND TO HEAL. Your wound is about your own self-worth. Deep down, you think you need someone who is "broken" and you need to ask yourself why. Focus on YOU. If you truly love him then you can send him love and healing without being in contact with him and without needing anything in return. In "Eat, Love, Pray" the guy from Texas at the Ashram told the main character who was struggling with this issue that whenever a thought of this person came into her head, to "send him love and light and then DROP IT." It's good advice....
As far as your guides and angels....meditation! Talk to them and ask for their help and then be open to the signs you receive.