I am in love with Virgo man. It is VERY COMPLECATED. HELP!!!
I am in love with Virgo man. It is VERY COMPLECATED.
We casually hooked up 6 month ago and I thought it would be one-night-stand. He kept on coming back.
He was always welcomed at my place. Getting to know each other better was like an eyes opener for me.
I never thought I could find a person sooo compatible in all the aspects: believes, same career field, we both have kids of same age, we were doing the activities that we both love physical attraction is unbelievable as well. Everything seems like a perfect fairy-tale came thrue out of no where!
Except one thing: He is MARRIED. Has been married for over 15 years, has great house, beautiful wife and 2 young children. He said he never in his life had an affair before. This is not like him, I know. He cares and feels for me, I KNOW! He is not happy there at home. He said he can’t leave her due lots of money involved (he is a wealthy man), LOVES his kids and he just been with her for too long to get use to it. At home everything seem to him like hard work. With me he is happy. I tried to break things off several times. I do not want to be a lover. I am a single mother with 5 year old daughter. I love him crazy. I know and I FEEL we are ment to be together. In past 2 month he started drifting away. He said he can’t handle more then his work and family but he misses me. He asked if I can still be in his life. I know he feels for me. He still coming back rarely and we communicate every other day by text. I do not want to loose him. I know we both will be very happy together. How can I make this together happen? Both myself and his wife are Arias. I am 7 years old younger then her. Any reading, help or advise will be very appreciated.
he is a lair,,, a cheater is a cheater, and a cheat lies,, he is lying to you too. be careful you are not just his booty call,,, if he only calls you to come over late at night,, he is hooking up with you for the s e x, not companionship, if he wanted compainionship, he get himself a dog,,, and you should find yourself a dog. what goes around comes around,, HF
HF, I know it might sounds wrong to you for me getting involved with married man. And do not get me wrong I know that!!! I was always agaist it till I got into this situation myself. It just seems like all the reasonings fly out of the window when we are together. And we do not have sex every time we are together. We do alots of talking and other activities. I"ve been introduced to his best friends, we go to work events together and it does not seem like he is hiding from ppl. Lots of other ppl know about us too. He is NOT happy at home, and he is not the person who would make a dissision to leave his wife. He thinks that the time will put everything in is place. I honestly will be better off with one or another way. Just HATE hanging on. Need HELP. Astrology? Tarot? Anything? I am 1 April 1982, He is 2 Sept 1972. PLS?
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dmick59, Thank you for your post. That is the dilemma though. I"ve been that wife before too!!! Now I am raising a beautiful girl on my own with no support. And I do not judge or hate my ex-husband for been happy with someone else. I realize if he would stay, or if I would make him to stay it would be many unhappy years to come. I am truly happy it ended. And this is not that I am in any kind of need a financial support either. I made it great on my own. This is NOT that I am trying to take something from someone else.
Whenever I hear the word “complicated” described as part of a relationship, it’s synonymous with one or both being married. I wonder, what is the answer you’re searching for? The situation is as it is and if you want it to change then you have the power to change it. I also find this situation intolerable but I will say this to anyone stuck in a relationship that is in essence going nowhere: If you want him for yourself, ask him for it and if he can’t or won’t give it to you then you have your answer. Do you fear asking the question because you fear hearing a negative response? He has the power and you are powerless because you are accepting his explanation for his marriage and his reasoning not to divorce. If you’re unwilling to take the risk of losing then the situation will remain as is, and why not; he has it pretty good.
I really hope you don't run from the solid advice you are receiving, and sometimes the truth hurts.I am not here to judge you or anyone else!
Love, relationships etc. are so complicated as is,but when you are adding marriage and children into the mix..."ouch", everyone will be hurt...
I have to agree with AquaBubbles, ask him...
I wish you love,peace and light
Thank you guys for your responds. Somewhere deep inside I afraid to put him straight to the wall with question "Me or Her", its true. he is a man of reasons and he built his life around her for over 15 years. On the other hand I feel, I REALLY FEEL!!! that he will leave her sooner or later, I FEEL they won't be together forever regardless if I am around or not. WHat I am going to do is... I am seeing him tomorrow, we are going out... I will tell him how horrible I feel in this situation and how much I want him just for myself... I know he will bring up same answers again.. I'll tell him "I can't stay in this situation anymore, when you'll leave her, please find me, but for now we need to let it go.." Any thoughts? Am I doing a right thing? This is soooo difficult, cause I am sure I'll feel worse without him then right now with him..
just be sure you wear a low cut top that will distract him,, hehehe, I think you are setting yourself up, you have no plans on letting him go. why would you need to see him to tell him that, that can be done in writing or over the phone, you are setting yourself up, but you know you are a risk taker, aries women will go to any length to get what she wants even in love where there is a family involved, sorry I cam calling like it is. something tells me it going to be drama, drama, drama because he will dangle you allowing you think it's much deeper.
give yourself a bubble bath, and think it through, I think you will be sorry if you continue down this path wtiht him i feel that for you. I never had an affair with a married man would never even bother as I soon I find out the man is married, he is gone in a heartbeat.
I had 3 Virgos in my life (was seriously in love with 2 of them). Every single one was in a serious relationship with the other woman, except I didn't know about it until much later (and I left every time, hard as it was).That's what Virgo types do - they love the grey area situations, free of pressure soulmateships, and hate the real thing/marriage/commitment. Once you become his wife he'll look for another escape, this time from hard work with you and your children. Virgos are very attractive people, because they are complicated and elusive, but they will always stay this way. Do you really need it ?
Hi VoplySoply, how do you explain then that he did got married with his wife in the first place and was faithful to her for over 15 years... (I know it in fact)..
Also if anybody else can give me an input on Virgo"s dual relationship experience I would really appreciate it. VoplySoply, tell me more pls..
VoplySoply, you have Ram icon as your picture.. Are you Arias as well?
Vic013, you need to hear the truth from him….listen for it.
I doubt very much you know what the facts are with this very married man. because you insist you know the facts about him, his marriage, his wife, even his future. you have no intention of letting him go, I will bet you will do whatever it takes to manipulate him to have s e x with you. you are TOO aggressive and not at all listening, I feel sorry for you, you sound like a desperate woman, all you are thinking about are your needs not his or even his family. maybe you need this crazy experience, it will be a rocky one for sure, that is your reading. HF
You need to be selfish here, put yourself and your daughter here. she needs stability. Does this man want to be a proper part of both of your lives? If not...then little heart ache now just you being hurt as opposed to heart ache for both yourself and your daughter?
Its difficult when you're in love, frustration sets in when you want to be with someone and it seems so hard.
From what you say he is already saying to you that he can't deal with anything more then work and HIS family. It sounds as though you aren't really high on his list to him. as hurtful as that feels. He's choosing to shut you out, put you in a box, if and when he feels like being in touch with you. You're making him an important person in your life whereas he's priortising other things.
Has he mentioned leaving his wife? You yourself thought it was a one night stand from the outset? perhaps this is just a series of one night stands? With no commitment even thought about on his side? Uncomplicated fun? Maybe when he feels you want need more he disappears and then comes back when he feels you have cooled down and know the score?
The only thing you can do is ask him what you are to him? If its 'just a bit of fun' then walk away.....
you'll recover from six months...but years like this will only hurt you more.
he's not likely to leave his wife and kids...esp as he has made no mention of it.
I think you deserve better.
Just wanted to give more insights for HF..
it is not just s e x that holds us together. We do other stuff together as well. We made a couple of deals together business wise (we are in the same field), we took dancing classes together. He bought another house where he wanted to have an apartment for himself incase his marriage ends. We decorated his new place, bought all the furniture, spent lots of time there together. He would do grocery shoppings, asking if we need anything else “at home” when he would be on his way there. I stayed there 3-4 nights a week when I did not have my daughter (my parents help me with her due my crazy work hrs). I felt like we are making home together. It did feel right despite the situation. We introduced our friends to each other.. and etc.. When I first tried to leave him, I gave him the keys back from this place and until now I never went back there. He decided to rent it out after to somebody.
He did find his way back to me though.. After that our relationship did cool off.. but we still talk, do business together, and occasionally meet up.
About his marriage.. He said that he thinks that he will leave her in the future, but on his own time and he does not like to be pressured.
@ Vic "About his marriage.. He said that he thinks that he will leave her in the future, but on his own time and he does not like to be pressured"...Then theres your answer,walk away sweetie. Love yourself more!
sorry but he wants to have it his way and you are allowing him that power.We all have a choice, and you need to make a choice.
love and light
I am an Aries and yes, we love the chase.... Integrity is key to love. If you do not love yourself first and have respect for the other woman and child/children, you are clearly setting yourself up for unnecessary heartache and at the same time, possibly hurting innocent people. Believe me, every married man says and does whatever it takes to get what he wants from a new relationship. Research statistics of married men leaving their families for other women, very few. Also, if you happen to be the woman they do leave their wife for, your chances are even less for a lasting relationship.
If he truly loves you, he will be honest with his wife, do the right thing and then come looking for you after his affairs are settled.
Always remember, a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds: He is a cheat and a liar.
Ah poor Vic - I have lived your story, although your level of involvement is much more than I ever experienced in my situation. Incredible that you two could spend that kind of time together without this all blowing up. In any case, while I could write a book at this point (there are over a thousand posts on my thread concerning Virgo man), I would like to simply point you back to page one of this thread. AquaCappy really says it all. Tell him what you want. All of the judgments here are irrelevant. I know, and you know, that in the end this is something different. But the important thing is just as AquaCappy said, you must tell him what you want and see what that reveals. No Tarot, or astrology, or infinite number of opinions will answer for you what only he can answer himself. Just as a side note - take care that you are paying attention to his attatchment to his money. It's possible that no one in his life will ever take priority over what he has personally worked hard to achieve. Men in general can be very much defined by their work. Just a "red flag" I sense there.