Will my soon-to-be-ex roommate get her act together?



  • Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back... I work a regular schedule that has me up at 5:00 am weekdays and my roommate has a different schedule where she likes to bring people over for the night... Last night about 5 guys piled into my apartment like a heard of elephants (most underage) and they were drinking and being loud. I told her to keep them quiet because it was LATE/EARLY morning and she only listened when I threatened to call the cops on their shindigg. She says things like, "I want to be sober..." "I want to get a car!" "I need a second job..." and when I offer her help she gives NO follow through. It frustrates me. It's only been about 4 months living with her, and last night wasn't the only time she's done something that disrespectful.

    Sometimes I feel like I'm too hard on her, but we had an agreement. Told her today to have her room cleaned by this evening because I'm finding a new roommate and they want to check it out.

    Any insight? Was I wrong (even though I don't feel like I was in the wrong..) and will she figure what being an adult is about soon?

    Thank you...

    ~Angela



  • No I don't feel she will get her act together just yet. This is a toxic relatioship for you because even though she is the one doing all the fuss and trouble you end up feeling like the bad guy. She has what I like to call, " victim syndrome", she likes to feel sorry for herself instead of getting real and honest with herself and or trying to change for the better. You will do well to get a new roomate, this person will only make you feel like crap and you don't need that. She has a lot of growing up to do and it won't happen any time soon. Her logic and rationality is off also, meaning she can put you in danger in future with the bad choices she makes.

    Goodluck 🙂



  • Thank you, Gypsydreams.

    She has a compassionate heart in regards to friends, but she really does have a lot of growing up to do... I put too much merit in what she says and the goals she makes but then it all falls apart and I feel almost let down! I know that is my problem and I shouldn't entrust so much feeling into somebody elses dreams, but I think it's because I want to see her succeed.

    Anyway.

    I appreciate your post! I have a line started for the next roommate!

    ❤

    ~Angela



  • Angela you are a very compassionate person too, with a huge heart I sense.....and you want only the best for your friends and loved ones and this is a wonderful trait but with time you will learn that sometiomes this trait is wasted on some people. I have wasted my compassion and trust on many and I am still learning when to stop, unfortunately I usually feel like utter crap when I stop contact or supporting a toxic person even when I have nothing to feel bad about, but in the end it is the best thing to do for both the party involved and myself. Sometimes tough love and a little selfishness is necessary for ones own sanity and well being.

    Goodluck Angela. 🙂


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