Cancer Male....what is the deal?
Im a Sag woman who has been dating a cancer male. He pursued me did/said all of the right things THEN, calls, emails and contact declined but, he says he was still interested in me...Huh? I know that we both are busy but, I just dont understand him and hav put forth too much effort already. In the end, I broke things off and ceased contact with him and told him when he is ready to date and want a relationship maybe he should contact me then. Sad part is that I really started to care for him.
This move is TYPICAL male n not signdetermined at all. My hunch is he felt he shared too much personal private skeletons in closet open looky see here issues with you. He feared rejection.
Another thing is that still surprised me n leaves me in utter shaking head that women so still dont get it.
Men IDENTIFY themselves by the job they do. If job goes well all goes well. And men are known workaholics.
I know a guy who is retired n yet on n off he does vol work at a local theatre as actor n director of plays. Now when he aint working as such he is feeling low, lazy, bored, not bothered. But when he works HALEJUJA a change of magnitude. hardly able to get caught on phone, hardly any email, but dang when u catch him, he is so happy so warm so upbeat so positive he cant b shot.
all men are like this. Even my own dad is like so. If he has not much to do he is grumpy feels unusealble but when he has stuff to do he gets giddy jokes around, laughs n has fun. Mind u my dads an aries.
In short i think u jumped the gun by calling it the offs. patiences n slow pace wins the race. Recall the tale of the race between the hare n the tortoise? Who won?
Tortoise right? despite its rep for beings low.
well hon, here in this u were the hare, racing n yet u lost. mayb if n when he reconnects try b the tortoise. best of luck
Great analogies CWB. As a Cancer ascendant myself, I'd just like to add my tuppence worth. Cancer is a very defensive, protective sign. For our own defenses to be penetrated (willingly or otherwise) it's f***ing scary! (Pardon my language, it was for emphasis)
That's why he backed off. He's not lying to you, he's just scared. Vulnerable.
CWB is absolutely right, be the turtle in this journey (I won't call it a race). Gentle re-assurance is called for. Acknowledge that he is opening up to you and thank him for it. Tell him how special and/or important it makes you feel to be a close part of his life.
Thanks for your comments really appreciate it. I have backed off of him and he now calls/text. I am proceeding with EXTREME caution.
Good luck MsDee40
Best of good fortunes to ya sweetie!
OMG! How many hearts will confused and and get hurt deeply.I find it really frustrated to us to understand what they doing is not appropriate.I do believed in astrology and I respected all of our beliefs here and opinion and I am pretty sure we are all grown up to understand that we could hurts some feelings if your not doing the right thing to do.We are all human and commit mistake and we learnt from every trials that we have in life. Pieceran healer and CWB I do agree what can you say to Cancerian Man who can easily say bad or negative towards woman involve with them over the phone and his acting totally different when your together who gentleman he is and you couldn't imagine why he can talk shit when your not next to them are they having dual personality or using people for the sake of their satisfaction. Hope they will realized that what they doing is not really acceptable I don't want a victim of this kind of good pretender and care about what how they feel.I'm not saying this in general but I always cross my heart and pray to give them guidance , courage, trust to give them people a chance to show what they can share with them good or bad don't slam the door straight away and full stop to care about them I always say they might missing out a lot of things if they always had a doubt to anyone who care about them.Think about that and have a look on the big picture.
Is that true most of the Cancer man say how they feel for you . Meaning if he said I don't care about you its all about fun he really meant that. But when you are with him those bad words never exist all he have to show is how intimate, caring, passionable and for them doing those things means a lot thats what I read or its just a part of their game...Why they can easily twist the story for them to protect their self against what you feel for them and why they can't listen to any suggestion or explanation. I guess patient and understanding is what they always needs and not to trust someone is a big issue for them.I'm all past to this but ,I sometimes confused when they said all I want for you do to is to leave me alone please.
annielan, not an easy thing to answer. When it comes to astrology and stuff, unless you have their personal chart, there are going to be some blanks.
3 of the major influences on our lives are our Sun signs, Moon signs, and ascendant signs. Then there's our Mars and Venus signs. There is also a positive and negative aspect to everything. As the old saying goes, too much of anything is bad for you.
Having said that, if a Cancer man feels safe and protected, what he has to say to you is genuine and from the heart. It's when he feels threatened - even if it's his own words or actions causing the threat - is when things can get ugly.
I guess your right to much of everything is bad, I was away and fortunately having holidays my last holiday this year. I felt so good and blessed so far doing well but there are times I was lost in my mind every time I think those time the I been through with him. I do admit that may be I'm pushing to do things that I wouldn't want to know about him. If I listened to him at first it wouldn't happen to us how I wish I can keep him as a friend and I think its to late for me to reach out on him and as I've said here before only prayers that I can offer to him and all the best in everything he doing and more blessings to come.May be I meet on a right love but wrong time.Now everything back on me and I was so selfish if I put all the blame on him. I can be one sided on my story here sometimes but as far as I know no matter what I did towards him I deserved some respect cos im a women and a human commit mistake.Things are getting worst uglier and so painful.He said to me that I will never stop talk shit to him and that is true cos he owe me explanation for using those nasty words that I never expected to him to used against me.I was being told by him to please don't bring the past.And if we never understand each other I'm going to used those nasty words and used those words for me to accept all of it. By doing that and his hearing me accepting those nasty words he said towards me makes him feel bad and telling me that how stupid I am to accept it which I knew that he never mean used those words against me till I'll put the fire on him and start telling me to please leave him alone and don't want to hear anything from me. There are times we can get back our conversation till one day we need to put an end.The only regrets that I have was we shouldn't go further than that we better give ourselves freedom from all of it.The sad thing here was we both had strong personality and will never accept that.I should listen to him by the time he spoke to me but he never have a courage to talk to me nicely like a friend I am always intruder to him which by the time he knew me I lay my cards on him straight away and I might scared him for being true to myself till he found out that I am not the one he looking for its just he needs a company a cosy time sometimes and I will cool to that but you need to retract those words you used to make me believed that you want to know more about me and but asking me If im not going out with anyone else cos he doesnt wanted to closed to me and all of a sudden i have someone whom I care about .Very confusing attitude is not what im looking for I will listened to him. If he will felt sorry for me he never meant things to happen like that.I am easy and never wanted any argue all I want is harmony. I can free myself when I meet a clairvoyant last sunday by accident when I saw her car in the hotel that I used to stay.She gave me a good answer and I FORGIVE HIM BY DOING THAT MAY BE WE MISSED COMMUNICATE sometimes that all i want is company or cozy time with someone used to it and just because I pretend to him I'm cool to that but it turns out hurting myself cos I will never sleep with anyone who never means a lot to me by doing that its not his fault and sorry for being one sided on my story for I KNOW NO MATTER WHAT I DO I DON'T DESERVED THE WAY HE TREATED ME BUT HIS NOT THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME ITS ME AS WELL TO ALLOW ME TO TREAT ME THAT WAY AND NEVER ONCE EXPECTED THAT IT WILL GO AND HURT MYSELF DEEPLY THAT TIME.THE GOOD THINK NOW I LEARNT MY LESSON WELL.The lady told me that his physically with me but his mind and thought was away from me everything he thinks was his exgirlfriend overseas. I hope he will get what he want and make things alright with them. I felt like be may i am a part of his confusing his mind.
MY DEAR CWB,
That is awesome you always had it so clear and pretty much well connected to them.I'm loving it kissesss
Yes annielan, you deserve to be with someone who can be there for you in body, mind, and spirit. The pain you feel will get easier with time. Just don't cling to any hope of having all the answers you want.
You got it right I guess that's the real connection its not all about physical attraction and I am very vocal with that I'm not trying to be show off here I have all the choice but I always value myself respect and if he making fun of me to believed that he respected me well I'm not the one pooling my legs its not my lost cos someone out there will appreciate who I am.Yeah I won't hope for that I was before I now realized he said things cos he knew that I only want to hear that for my own satisfaction whats the real zero and I won't blame him cos I allow him I've learnt my lesson well and if he is wised enough I guess he will realized that its not my lost and thanks again to him cos I knew how shallow he is.Thanks for the kindness words much appreciated .
Thanx annielan. I guess its bc i too am a water sign but more that i tend to see the issues from more than one angle.
fx like infidelity. when its spoken many assume the man is responsible, thats when i get a nit angry bc women cheat as much n recent studies has shown even more than male. So there! lol
aaawww I can feel you my dear I feel better now ,yeah its not only one angle here and its not because he hurt me before but I hope they will learnt to grow up and be man enough to face the reality of life they missing out a lot of things and to think that they hurt people really care about them they may grow older with no self assurance life is a wonderful thing to explore all the lovely things in this world.LOL