Scorpio guy wanting Taurus girl back-------
This might be a little long, but i want to get out as much info as possible about my situation for better advice.
Well i met this girl in college And everything was perfect. We went through ups and downs in the relationship, but it just made our love for eachother even stronger. We had both had previous relationships but were eachothers first TURE love. We were dating for almost 3 years. Well up until september, we were arguing more than usual and we didnt know what to do. So we decided to stop talking abruptly(Maybe there was a lack of communication?). She was more hurt in the break up than i was. And we still had feelings for eachother.
well around december 20th, i decided to make contact and tell her i want to make it work. I asked her how she was and everything at first (not bringing up anything about reltionships and what not). She said she misses me so much and i said the same. Then i came out with it and said i wanted to make it work and that i still love her. She said that she never thought i would be able to swallow my pride and call her and also said i was stirring up emotions in her. And she said all of this was hard for her to handle. But then she hit me with the bomb...
She told me she is with another guy. She had been with him for only 2 months. She said she had to date and talk to people to get her mind off of me. But5 she still has strong feelings. So i asked her if it was over 100% between us? are we done? She couldnt answer. she never can answer those kind of questions. Instead she said "well the thing is i'm with i another guy right now and i cant just leave him for you" But 1 month previous to me making contact again, a mutual friend that she had talked to told me that she said she still loves me. And i can tell she does based on her texts.
I feel like this guy happened to be in the right place at the right time and hes kinda her "rebound". A way for her to cope with us not being together (we were so in love).
She said she still has some anger towards the breakup so i know that will take time to heal, but waiting is not the easiest thing to do.
Well one night in january,
i texted her asking how she was. And she responded that she was stressed about school and her parents (nothing pertaining to us). Then we started talking on the phone for the first time since we broke up. She was venting to me about everything and we were talking about what had been happening with us during the months we werent talking.
At one point we were even laughing and making jokes that we used to make when we were still together. But then the subject of her new man and us came up and you could just feel the whole vibe of the convo shift.
We were asking eachother questions pertaining to the relationship that were not asked when we were together. Questions like "why did you do this?" and "why didnt you tell me thats how you felt?".
And then at one point i kinda broke down and just started telling her how i felt (which might have been a bad move, but i couldnt help it). I was saying how i want to be with her and no one else. How the good in our relationship easily out ways the bad and its not worth letting go over a reason like this.
And as i was going on expressing myself, she began to cry alot. At one point, she said her stomach was knotting up and that she was feeling dizzy and might even throw up. And aburptly she said she had to go and hung up real fast. i thought it was kinda odd and was still concerned with how she was feeling since she said she had to throw up.
So i called her back and her tone was completely different. I asked are you ok? And she said "yea" in a real fast way like "of course i'm ok". Then it clicked in my head and i asked "did your bf just show up?". and she said yea. And thats where it ended.
As of things recently happening with us, last time i talked to her was about a month ago (trying to respect her new relationship and give her space to figure her issues out) and she was saying how she was stressed with all of her problems and everything (venting). I was just telling her to hang in there and that i have faith in her. you'll make it. And she was saying how much she appreciated that. It was pretty brief.
I'm not sure what to do, but at the same time i dont think there is aything else i can do at this point. The guy shes with now also goes to the same school as her so i'm at a dissadvantage right there. She didnt really have anyone to talk to at school since myself and most of her close friends either dropped out or transferrred schools. I feel that guy shes with now showed up at the right time in the height of all her problems and stress and that is a big advanage for him. I specifically remember when i was on the phone with her, how she was saying that he makes her feel special and stuff to me, but like was "overdoing" how she explained ( as if to rub it in?). Plus i didnt even ask for that info. The guy is a gemini by the way.
Things i've been thinking to myself :
1. Is she with the guy because he is an"outlet" right now for all her issues and stress? If so what happens when her problems start to go away?
2. SHould i send a text here and there saying "hello" or something, or keep no contact to let her fully try out her new guy and sort out her issues?
Hopefully she decides to come back.
P.S. If you need any info feel free to ask, hopefuly not forgetting anything.
After reading your problem, I just want to say this from an outsiders point of view. Since you two were both in love, then of course you know the love will never die. She will always share feelings for you as you will for her but she is in a new relationship now and as unfair as it seems to you, you should let her be. If she truly wants to be with you, she will come back to you.
Maybe there is too much pain right now and you both should stay apart.
The man she is with probably does make her feel special, she would most likely not share her feelings (true feelings) about him with you since your the ex. It does not mean she does not spend her days not thinking of you because she probably does, but you have to let go and let her move on. You also need to move on.
I have been through great heartache in my life and the most terrible feeling is when someone spends years telling you that they love you and then one day tells you they do not love you anymore. Hard to believe at first until they tell you over and over that they do not love you anymore. It can destroy a person. Don't let it get to that point. It makes you become cold and bitter toward anyone who tries to get close. You also become spiteful and hateful of your ex after that.
Just let her go... move on with your life. If she wants to be with you, let her come back to you and don't force it.
Do it for yourself.
I have been thinking about this all day. I am still not clear, but I feel the need to share this. Even though we Tauruses love being real more than anything, when it comes to OURSELVES being real and vulnerable, with the possibility of being hurt, we just do not do too well with that.
It took me many years, I am almost 43, to learn the power of being vulnerable. It is the scariest thing I have ever done, yet the most worth while thing, yet I can still shy away from it.
We Tauruses do not like to hurt people and we do not like to hurt ourselves. Hurting is probably our biggest fear. And hurting silently is different from hurting publicly where people know.
LoveDetox: Thankyou for the advice. Yea i have been moving on and working more on bettering myself. Not only because if she dicided to come back it would help the situaution, but also it would be in my best interest overall. Can i ask what caused in your heartache situations for it to get to the point of your ex saying over and over again they dont love you anymore?
Taurus7: She is the type to kinda shy away from and she also has trouble being vulnerable. Right now i feel she is hurting silently and kinda trying to hide it. Ever since this situation between us has come up (including her other issues shes going through right now, she hasnt been talking to anyone lately including who used to be her closest friends. They have talked to me lately and said they're worried about her too because they havnt heard from her. I guess shes just talking to her bf and his friends (who arnt even her type of crowd). So i wonder what will happen if all these problems shes having clear up, and when the hurt and fear she has now goes away, what state of mind shes in. I know she still likes me, but i can tell in a way shes scared of getting hurt and being vulnerable like you said.
P.S. I dont know if it means anything, but it kinda seems like shes hiding the fact that shes with this guy. Like when it came to us, it was all out there and she wasnt afraid to make it public wether we be with people in public, facebook, etc. It just seems kinda odd to me i dunno. I can deff tell shes in a different state of mind right now.
Roll444 - The fact that you feel she is hiding her new relationship is very significant. Sometimes a woman needs to know that her true love will do anything for her to protect her and keep her safe. if you truly love her deeply, pray and ask for guidance as to what you should do, then discern your answer and go for it!
How it came to that point was a gigantic drama between me, my ex and his girlfriend. She started things with me and eventually it blew up into something that never should have happened. Basically, he was not man enough to let things stay between him and I so he involved anyone who would let him whine. His girlfriend would not stay out of any of it that went on between him and I and I was of course blamed for starting it all. Of course he would not blame her, I'm the ex. It is easier to place blame on anyone but oneself. It was his fault and her fault it got to the point it had or even to the start of it.
My point to you is to never let it get to that point. Unless you both have a child together, just leave her alone. You no longer have any reason to communicate. If she really loves you and wants to have you back in her life then it will happen.
Remember the good times you both had and let go of the bad. I will share a situation I came into after my marriage ended, this involves another man I fell for.
I had met this man through a mutual friend (his cousin, my best friend). We got along great, talked everyday (almost all day), a few months later we met for the first time. We had a wonderful time together, we slept together, he called me on my drive home to make sure I got there okay. Wow, he was fantastic. I really liked this guy.. I visited him again and of course we had s.e.x., I was really falling for him. I made the dreaded mistake of asking for a relationship.. I got a "no".
We had ended our friendship and relationship.. He would get upset when I dated other people. He used the "friends only" stuff on me and then didn't like it that I would date others.
Anyhow, I was truly in love with this man, crushed but not going to let it get me down.. We had a huge fight and stopped talking to each other. A year went by and he contacted me again. I did not want to let my feelings for him get in the way of our reconciliation. Unfortunately it had, I now realize that even though I love him. I am miserable with him, just as I am with out him...
Do you understand what I am getting at here?
Sometimes when things end, it is for the better. Let go and grow. You can always love the person but you do not have to be with them to still love them. I know now that he is not right for me. Just like my ex husband was not right for me. They both caused me more harm than good. I had to grow out of that. Move on with my life, knowing that someone that is truly meant for me is out there.
It's okay to feel sad and be broken-hearted.
I know I had told you to remember the good and let go of the bad but I do also need you to look back and remember why it ended. See past the whimsical memories and see the person for who they are. Why did the relationship really end?? Were you treated bad? Did she cheat? Did you cheat? Look at the entire relationship.
Get angry if you have to get angry. I did, once I realized how I was treated with these two men. Yes, I remember the good ways but I also remember the bad ways. I saved myself from falling back into either one of them. One of them I kept an email he sent me.. I realized then and there the guy was a big jerk. I reminisced about my ex husband and realized that he only cared about himself. He treated everyone poorly around him, all the time. I'm sure he still does.
My little brother (God rest his soul) adored my ex husband and after my little brothers funeral my ex made a small tribute to him proclaiming my brother to be great and wonderful.. However I then realized that I really didn't understand how he could praise my little brother when he really had as little to do with him as he could while he (my brother) was alive. Things such as that, the little things which are really after-all.. BIG things.
Do not fool yourself. Moving on is probably best for you. Do not dwell on the past, it only holds you back from your future.
I hope you can understand my plea for you to move on.
I would hate for you to become bitter about love as I have. It would not be right.. I see it happen too often with people around my age. I am in my early 30's.
You two sounded like you loved each other very much and even thoug you two didn't contact each other for months I think she definetly still cared for you she probably just thought with you not talking to her you were over her and she probably tried to force herself to move on with another (Ima Taurus by the way dealing with the breakup of a Scorpio guy who hasn't contacted me in months either) but I think you should give her sometime to make up her mind but be there for her to show her you care but don't stress on the fact you still want her because she knows that and internally she is making a decision on it. Hope it works out for you two May you give me you Scorpio insight to the breakup with my ex in my thread entitled Taurus Girl Calling Out To All Scorpios!!! Thank you so much I would really appreciate it
Hey roll444: Listen to what Taurus7 and Asia118x said. They are both wise women and give sound advice. I wish I would have talked to them before I freaked out and started texting my ex while she was trying to make up her mind. It's hard to stay calm when your ex leaves you for another man, especially when she denies being interested in him. Plus I don't care what sign you are or how you deal with your issues. Communication is everything! My ex cut me off in every way before we broke up and it killed me. Our communication was honestly never good. she always had a problem talking about her feelings and that really bothered me. I have been told that Cancers have a hard time talking about their feelings as well but I am proof that that's not always true. My Taurus ex is just like yours when it comes to speaking her heart. Love cannot work if we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
Thanks for calling me a wise woman Cancerman276 I feel very honored that you said that only being 18 going on 19 soon lol. Thanks I was wondering of you could give me some insight to my sitution as well in a forum entitled Taurus Girl Calling out to all Scorpios thanks appreciate it! Good luck and allow yourself time to heal buddy. You ll pull through
@roll444 please give me insight to my situation (Taurus Girl Calling Out to All Scorpios) I'm in a similar situation with my Scorpio ex although their are some diferences. Thank you so much appreciate it. Hope you get better
Hi! I'm a Taurus Girl, going through dating "movie scene" with my Scorpio crush lol Well he seduced me so... Anywho I agree with Taurus 7 on the fact that if she is not talking to other people and hiding her relationship she just wants to see: " What is he going to do about it?" If she didn't want you back why would she CRY on the phone while talking to you?! Like honestly whats wrong with you? GO FIGHT FOR HER!
Btw as a Taurus girl I understand my Scorpio crush who doesn't even need to talk to me.. We communicating on a strange as level, weird stuff, I never believed in astrology that much till i met him and read our compatibility "just for fun" while choking to death as how true it is with opposites...