Confused and hurt Gemini
I need some unbiased advice on my situation so please help. I feel like andidiot and feel like I know what needs to be done but DOING IT is extremely hard when you love someone. I really blame no one more then myself for this situation but im trying to dig my way out of this.
I have been in a relationship with a Scorpio man for almost three years. We now have 4 month old son together whom I ADORE. I found out at 6 months pregnant that he had another girl 7 months pregnant with a little girl. He has been cheating on me withe her for the past couple of years and has promised her stuff and taken alot of money from her. He claimed he broke it off with her but then she came crying to him when she was four months pregnant and refuse to get an abortion. THis girl is INDIAN and we are BLACK. She has now been exiled and banned from her family due to getting pregnant and they refuse to have ANY contact with her . She is not from the City and has no friends her and now she is totally reliant on him for everything and is always crying and acting helpless and alone and he was depressed with feelings of guilt and shame for the situation. I am so crushed by this situation because I have his kid too that we planned with one another. And he feels guilty about it all and feels that he has to be there for BOTH of us and goes back and forth which drives me INSANE. This situation is driving me insane because although I need his help because I also have another son I am so angry and resentful towards him for leading us both on. He claims he loves me and wants a future with me but claims he felt obligated to be there for her because of her delicate situation and the girl is so depressed and fragil. Now we always fighting because he is lying to both of us trying to keep the peace. I DONT TRUST HIM AT ALL and I LOVE HIM AND IM HURT. His mother talks to me all the time and she is hurt by the situation too and feels he is scared of what may happen to the girl if he just leaves her alone. I feel I have no other choice but to take my kids and move on because even talking to him and seeing him is hurtful at this point because I know he is lying and seeing her as well. I cant take it anymore. I hate that its come to the point that I need to stop contact with him because of our son and my older son adores him. But I dont know what else to do for now. After I told him I cant deal with this NOT ONE MORE DAY He claims that he is so overwhelmed that he has indulged hisself in work and said he cant deal with this emotional overload and a relationship isnt a good for him right now with because he needs to get hisself together so he can get in a better place in life. Although I agree that it may be best I cant help but hope that in with the distance he can come back to us and be a better man and things will work out and we can be a family. I know I must be crazy. We shared something so wonderful. A great bond on so many levels. Had so many good times and it hard letting it all go. It so much more to this story I believe he has some issues within his self that he has to deal with before he can be a good man to anyone. Ive become so attached to him its hard to imagine a life without him. Why me???and how did I get here? I feel like there was so many times I saw red flags and shouldve left but I stayed because of my feelings and emotions towards him. He now ALWAYS working and trying to avoid these issues. Im so sad and hurt and depressed and at the same time trying to be a good mother towards my kids. Should I just stop contact with him and move on with my kids or try to be friends with him? Or is being friends even possible with all the anger and resentful I have. He seems so self absorbed lately and seems like he is going nuts trying to deal with it all. PLEASE HELPim too embarassed, hurt,and ashamed to share this situation with my friends and I am been suffering in silence. I dont want everyone to HATE him seeing that its hard for me NOT too right now.
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