Taurus man and Taurus woman in difficult times, please help!
Hello everyone, I have read through the two threads (I need advice from Taurus women!!!, I NEED TAURUS INSIGHT....) and have gathered lots of information regarding the Taurus woman that has broken up with me recently. I was hoping that there are Taurus women on this forum that can provide me with some guidance as to the possibilities of making amends with her and getting her back for good.
So here's the story (there's a short version at the bottom for those who do not want to read slabs of text)
I have been with this girl for over a year now and the relationship has been incredible, the way our lifestyles, interests, personalities and values line up is amazing and I have definitely enjoyed every moment I have spent with her. However, she decided to embark on an exchange program recently and despite being against physical distance with one another, I said that she should go and experience what she always wanted and see what it is like to live there.
The disintegration of the relationship started when she told me that she believes there's this guy on the exchange program whom fancies her, which in my Taurus nature, became defensive and possessive without realising. I went through the whole process of fatal mistakes from that point forth and it turned into needy and jealousy. She ended up breaking up with me in a cold and clinical manner, like I was foreign to her and stated that we are very different in personalities and values, she had feelings for another guy, and it was a nice relationship and her feelings has changed for me (which are all understandable considering we were arguing and it was the heat of the moment).
I ended up telling her that I will not try to save what is not there anymore, because I know that I cannot resolve or mend this issue whilst she is on exchange and the only possibility is when she returns.
I thought through my actions and pinpointed all my mistakes now after days of contemplating what went wrong in the relationship but I know that making amends straight after will never work in the process of getting back together again. I know I value this relationship because even after weeks of ceasing contact and efforts of moving on, I still find her uniqueness appealing like no other that I have met in my life.
I noticed she has removed me from her facebook (not blocked), I was informed that she has not consulted any of her local friends or family at home here about this matter.
I know it is really hard to turn a Taurus around after they have been angered, but I was hoping if there is a possibility to make her change her mind, what would be the approach to go about it. Please help.
Taurus girl goes on exchange and has feelings for another guy, after arguement with childish, needy Taurus guy (me), breaks up with him stating that her feelings has changed cold and clinical. Please help in ways of making amends and getting her back for good.
If there are any further questions or information needed just ask and I will try to reply them in an unbiased manner.
Daisai - Hi and welcome! How long will she be gone?
Hello and thanks for your reply Taurus7,
She will be gone for 4 months and it has been over a month before this incident happened all of a sudden.
I know I have my own fair share of mistakes, but I feel that her Taurus nature without physical presence of me there has lead her astray. Our relationship was never fragile like it was recently, feels like a perfect storm of circumstances which has lead up to this point.
Daisai - Ok, I have thought about this for awhile. here is my best answer, journal all your innermost thoughts and feelings. be real. be vulnerable. be transparent..and give your journal to her when she returns.
Sounds like a good idea Taurus7, she has always been one for personal creative things. Too bad I already tore up all the letters I had written to give to her when she returns out of pain and sorrow during the breakup.
I just have a few questions as to the contents of the journal, does it have to specifically relate to our breakup or the good times we have had together or how we are going to overcome the obstacles that are now before us to start over. I am not sure what would be helpful and what would be counterproductive in what is written. How long and how often should I make entries or just to my heart's content?
I would have thought maturing a little, changing a little and moving on a little would have been more enticing to get her back? Just wondering. I really do appreciate everyone's advice and thoughts on this.
The journal just needs to be your thoughts and feelings, not only related to her. And yes, to your hearts content, fill it as often as you wish. Remember though, this is YOUR journal, reflect on YOUR thoughts, do not preach to her.
Thankyou so much for your responses Taurus7, much appreciated. I see. My thoughts only, does that include both positive and negative? I dont know whether letting her read that I am ridiculing her is a good idea.
Also, I was wondering if establishing contact with her before her return is a good idea, or should i insist on letting her do whatever she wants til she returns for space and time? I have fears of her memories of me fading with the negativity and the possibility of being with another man as we speak fading all chances of my attempts to get her back (looking in the worst case scenario).
Just be real and honest. I do not think there is anything wrong with putting something like the 2nd paragraph in a journal.
As far as contacting her, do what you feel is best and right.
This post is deleted!
Since I do not know what her relationship situation is at the moment, I guess the most sensible decision would be to not contact her til she contacts me despite my heart screaming for me to call her everyday.
I will attempt to write a journal of my thoughts realistically, thankyou for your guidance Taurus7. Do you think there anything else I should do to help the situation? Doesn't seem like I can do much else but live my life now til she returns.
I think waiting is about all you can do at this point. Which, is not always a bad thing.
Hi dai, I'm a Taurus girl here after reading wat u wrote and wat Taurus had advise u I totally agree with it. In my current relationship with this Scorpio man, I did exact same thing like how u mention about ur girl. Just share a little info see if it helps. Whenever I mention other guys to my bf, more often i don mean it. I only say for the sake of making him do something about. U can say we are a very logical people and what's more creative too. If u opposed too much more often it's a threat. But after everytime my bf start to had a little change~ I'm not sure if this apply to her, I always don tell things directly to my bf. Instead I let him figure himself out. That don work all time ended up I had to tell him. Just a little thing we can change direction. I am stubborn just like every Taurus are. But don denied that it can be change~ =} Hope this helps~
Hi Taurus7, I was wondering what your interpretation of the situation is based upon what I have said thus far and the possibility of reviving this relationship would be?
If you do not know it's ok. I just think that it is often very different an opinion from someone not actively involved in terms of bias and emotional swings.
I feel that I pushed her a little too much to voice her concerns about us that it may have backfired as I know when she worries it spirals out of control in her mind and she does not consult anyone about it. I tend to be able to figure out her problems by her body language and gestures but that is not an option when it is long distance.
However, I am not sure with regards to my situation as she was mentioning that there's another guy in the notion of breaking up that is making her happier than I was and she has lost that feeling for us... and then later on saying that unfortunately, her feelings has changed. What is your opinion on this?
I do agree that change is required for this relationship to be recovered, on both sides, but I feel that it cannot be touched or moved upon until she returns and lets reality come back to her.
Though the situation is dire, I still hope that there is a revival in the cards here, as long as I play my hand right.
Upon the mentioning of wat u did I always feel guilty~ exactly wat I did to my guy~ it's not easy to admit the mistake and can see that u love her very much~ I believe ur love will be able to move her~ =}
@Mikyo, when do you believe is the right time to talk to her in my situation, should I just let her free for the rest of the exchange or actually try talking to her beforehand?
Well u know her than I do~ How do you feel right now? If u think don tell her you will regret, then let her know~ if u think you haven't give yourself a right timing then u should wait~ u must let her believe in love again~ =}
I have been wanting to talk to her ever since a few days after the breakup but I am afraid and unsure whether she has fallen in love with someone else already or she is still angry at me, I have never seen her so annoyed before. But that said I have not been so stupid before either x.x not seeing someone in person and hugging them really makes me do and say stupid things.
I worry more about her perspective than mine because I am ready to talk but she doesn't want to talk, just expects me to know and understand >< such a bother
I thought I would post the messages that she sent me during our breakup to give some scope to my situation and so there can be a better understanding of what sort of mindset she may have.
I have been considering about our relationship for a long time and I thought that there is a lot of problems within us... We are really different, in terms of personalities, values... ...also I should be honest with you, I think I might have some feelings for someone else.... I actually am more happy with him than with you. I think I've lost that feeling between us... And in this very moment,I can't prioritize you over everything else. I do not want to lie to you or to myself and believe that we shouldn't waste each others time and stop one another from finding their one, someone who can prioritize you. Maybe we are better of being as friends than a couple. ~~~~my reply Your email was very sudden and I am quite shocked and caught off guard. The past few weeks has been difficult, very unpleasant for both of us. I have tried and am willing to continue to try to maintain being a part of each others lives despite the hardship of physical distance. I understand that you have a lot of commitments and the time difference makes it difficult to allocate time for one another. I feel that we both need a few days to think things through about us as a whole and talk afterwards. I strongly believe that you are a great girlfriend and we have been true to our hearts and have created many memories together, til less communication recently. ~~~her second message Like I have mentioned in the previous email, I have thought through things and decided that it won't work. From your reply, I wonder whether you have read and understood my previous email. I don't think I need anymore time to consider this. It has been a nice relationship and please do not ruin all the memories at this very last minute. Unfortunately, my feelings have changed.
It was a very tough few initial days for me after those harsh words and my hopes were dashed. Please let me know your impressions on these words.
My final reply to her after her second message I do not have an archive of, but I said something along the lines of
I have made many mistakes in which I do not think the charity of apologies will suffice, I will not try saving what is not there anymore (I was really hurt) I hope you find true and greater happiness now and into the future, wish you all the best.
It has been about two weeks since that final message.