Captain please tell me



  • Hi Captain Hope you well - Thank you for your reading not so long ago regarding my son Wayne. Yes you were right - untill he sees these people are not good for him he wont leave the drugs. He was clean for about a month and looking so so nice and we had such high hopes but - he is back to where he was. So much so that we have now given up as he is very stubborn and we are now practising tough love. Told him to go his own way as he was not prepared to go by the rules and also took money from me without permission, so his sister took him in and the same happened. Now his boss wants to also let him go as he is short tempered and all that goes with it. (thats one thing about him he is always on the job and not lazy to work) I do not sleep and very worried about him as he does not speak to any of us now only when he wants money that we all refuse to give him. What is going to happen and what should i do ? So worried he gets into serius trouble and he owes the drug people so much money and all. Please tell me what you can will really appreciate it.

    God Bless



  • There is nothing you can do when someone is too stubborn to see that all the blame for his ruined life lies with him alone. He has made bad choices, of companions and how he copes with life and until he realises he alone can make a better life for himself and stop relying on everyone else to support him, then I'm afraid you just have to stand back and let life send him the hard lessons he needs. Yes, it will get worse for him but you have to let him stand on his own feet and get some courage and wisdom of his own. He cannot go on being carried by his family. It is not good for any of you, especially for him. So stand your ground and refuse to help him until he learns to help himself. The minute you give in and help him with money (you can of course always keep giving him your love) then he becomes weak and helpless again.



  • Hi Captain

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. Harsh but I need to hear it and in turn help my son to help himself and I will take your advice for sure. He is staying here there and everywhere the passed week (Friends are now very far and inbetween) that his sister told him to get out and yes he must grow up and i am no longer feeding his habbit.

    This morning we heard the most devistating news that my son who has cornea transplant is busy rejecting as well so I am having fun bewteen my sons! I am just as worried about that so all I can do is pray pray pray and hope for the best. Anyway thank you so much for your insight

    God Bless



  • Your son with the transplant is very fiercely independent-minded and has trouble accepting help from anyone (even from an organ donor). He must learn that accepting help from time to time doesn't mean he is weak or helpless. We all need help and support sometimes.



  • Captain, you know you hit the nail on the head! I just read this to him and he just shook his head!

    About the rejection of the cornea - the doc said we might have acted soon enough please God. He got a steroid injection in the eye (shame) and I have had to put in drops EVERY HOUR since and that right thru the night as well (so a bit bushed - forgotten what pajama drill is all about 😉 ) Anyway just wanted to share with you that today it is starting to look better Thank God! But still need ALL the prayers we can get - and O! THAT LITTLE MUSTARD SEED - We HAVE to just keep faith.

    Thank you for allowing me to chat with you it just really makes me feel better talking to someone and appreacite your input tremendisly! We will take 1 day at a time.

    Thank you again

    God Bless

    Chappies



  • I think your son might start to bend his back a little now that he realises he is not being weak or selfish to accept some help.



  • He might also have a fear of what he might see if the transplant works - real life can be hard to bear at times and he might feel safer being 'blind' to it.. But I feel he has deep reserves of strength and wisdom inside that he hasn't even called on yet.



  • Captain you know what, I cannot believe you are saying what you are saying! I shouted at him the other day about caring for his eye as I feel he some times just dont care to much? And my exact words were ' Maybe you want to be blind so you dont have to go thru life the hard way and looking for the easy way out!' Told him I am not going to be aroung all his life, and dont know what he is going to do when I am not there, and since I am being a bit harder on him. Anyway went to doc today again and he seems happy about the eye again. Still not 100% but happy, have to put drops every hour till 15th when we see him again, what a wonderfull man he is this doctor. As for Markus the doc actually told him as well that he should take more care of his eye. But yes, Markus is still young and have not learned about life as yet and have some growing up to be done, Thank you Captain I am sure you can also see that he 'is ' a good boy. We just keep praying thats all

    God Bless and thanx again


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