Can Anyone Help?
Hi, I was wondering if anyone out there could help me with this ...
End of January my boyfriend of 5+ years broke up with me, saying he didn't love me anymore. At the time I thought it was just the distance and apathy, and that waiting until we saw each other again was the best thing to do. Then, two weeks later, my friend said she saw him at the bar with a new girl and looked very happy with her. The latest photos I've seen (end of February) showed him at a birthday party with a girl and they looked happy.
The card readings I've done seem to say that waiting is a good idea, and some psychics have agreed with that. But I haven't heard anything from him and the seeing him with someone new isn't very encouraging. I still love him and want to wait, but if it's over for good then I should just move on. It's all so confusing and I don't want to cause myself unnecessary pain, but I just don't know what to do.
I'll reply, will look up cards in present situation. Be back tomorrow.
First and foremost, hear me out. You are a strong, independent and intelligent person and deep down you know you need to return to YOUR center of power.
Waiting is not a good idea if you are putting your life on hold hoping for some bright future. It won’t come.
Your bright future WILL come when you decide to live your life for you. It is not selfish as it is your life and no one should or can be in charge of it but you. Making someone else responsible for your happiness is unfair to the other person and it never works out, but…
If you go on about your business and live to your fullest with out the need for someone else to make you happy Great and Wonderful things happen.
He may come back or a new and even more wonderful relationship will come about. You will never know until you start moving again. (You are stagnating. Only movement can change your future.) In your current condition, he may be seen as coming back but if you are awaiting his return to bring you happiness, it will be short lived. You put too much pressure on him and he will push you away again because he can not live up to the responsibility you put on him.
That does not mean you have to run out and date whoever you find. If you are not over him, then please, be just you for a while and heal and learn how wonderful you can be all on your own. You will then be powerful and extremely magnetic. (Magnetism = attracting and attractive)
Love and Happiness can then be yours to Give and to Receive.
Daliolite, I was still completing this message when you posted. Sorry, I did not intend to post over top of you. You may see something more than what I was getting though.
Thank you so much for the replies.
I do know that my happiness depends on me, and that no matter what happens I will be happy and loved, even if I never find someone else for the rest of my life. That being said, I just spent a while sitting here staring at Ibelieve's reply trying to figure out what I mean by waiting. In general, I'm not really ready to date someone else at this point and one-night stands simply aren't my thing. Also, I'm in another country for school until the end of summer, so nothing serious makes sense. I'm not opposed to dating at this point, I just haven't really felt like it. I have been trying to focus on me and my life, and I know that if he does come back things have to change. Already I've been trying to change myself and I feel like I have done quite a bit of overdue maturing.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have no idea what I'm doing. By waiting I mean I'm not letting go to the hope that it might work out, but I can't really explain how that is. So, um, yeah.
Thank you so much for that. Really, you've gotten me to think about this in a way that I haven't done yet. Thank you.
Good for you! You are quite welcome. I was tentative to reply at first as I am not very good at getting my point across without appearing harsh. I’m still working on that sort of thing.
The overall message I tried to give is one of Hopefulness and yet to only address the question you asked specifically made it appear as hopeless.
That is why I began the message addressing your inner strength of character. Regardless of stating you were waiting (as though you were fine with sitting by the phone until he calls) that was not the impression I received of your character. So that is the dilemma.
With regards to your question of “is waiting a good idea?” The answer is no. As to “will he come back?” or “will I meet someone new?”, that depends on how you move forward from here.
You are confusing yourself with the waiting issue. Your statement, “no matter what happens I will be happy and loved” and the fact that you already have your priorities straight on where you are going at the moment is all you need. Keep going forward, there is no going back. You can address the issue of his return or the finding of someone new when it occurs, not before. Live for this moment and take care of yourself.
You did not address any issues he might have given as to why he did not love you anymore after five years. If that is all he gave you as to the reason for breaking up, then there is nothing for you to think about and nothing for you to do on that issue. Even if you two could have talked it through, he was not willing to work at it. That is his limitation and limiting behavior, not yours and there is nothing you can do about it. Do not be angry over his lack of commitment, you hung out with him for five years, that was your choice. And if it was a happy 5 years, relish that time, if it wasn’t, maybe you should have dumped him sooner.
If he does come back, he will have to be willing to open up and communicate. If not, let him go because he must learn that a relationship takes two people working together and communication. It is a team effort and they must move together as a team or it will fail. That is a waste of your time and energy and emotion. If only one is working at it, the other is not invested and will eventually leave for it means nothing to them. If it does mean something and it is just hard for them to open up, again, it is their issue and they are the only one who can change. He has to be willing to invest. You are worth it.
Hi Brigb, This relationship is only going to cause pain for you according to this tarot reading. You are actually juggling two things in your near past. I view this as sort of living a lie. I get the feeling that this guy goes against your grain or in some way is a big contrast to your true self. Are the two of you total opposites? Has he put you thru this before. Seems your trying to change in order to survive this relationship that isn't right in first place for you.
I get the impression that he thinks your judging him or better than him. There are many swords in your reading. Again, getting the impression that you two are opposites.
In your near future shows you realizing just how awful this relationship is. There has been a lot of emotional turmoil. This is the most straight forward reading I've done re a relationship. There is no good way to turn here. It's like he's totally wrong for you, never meant to be. I don't know if you brought anything negative into this.
Something interesting is that it points to other people suffering due to this breakup. Tower w/3 of swords.
Shows you coming full circle and realizing that things aren't right here. Shows completion of a project, travel and new experiences. This is your base. You will carry this w/yourself throughout your life.
Don't wait any longer as that will prolong misery.
You are searching for true love, an idealized love. Change is present as you see it unfolding. It's over.
This reading was so straightforward and there was no other way to state this. I know it's hard ending a relationship. I wish you the best. This relationship isn't right or good for you.
Breakdown: Past--Five of cups
Near Past--2 of Coins
Center--Queen of Swords
Above--Three of Swords
Near Future--Nine of Swords
Future--Ace of Swords
You--4 of Swords
Environ--Ace of Cups
Hopes & Fears--The Tower
Outcome--8 of Cups