HELP w/ son's reoccuring choking dream!
I would love to hear from anyone who has any insight into something disturbing my son told me last night. My 15 year old son told me he's been having a reoccuring dream for quite awhile and it's become more frequent in the past 6 months and night before last it was extremely vivid and really scared him.
DREAM: In the dream it always takes place not in his bedroom but in our guest bedroom and it's a little different as it has a bench but no bed.
He's being choked by a blondish "cowboy", he describes this person as a cowboy wearing old timey western clothes, his shirt has piping and snap buttons, he know this because he's grabbed them before. The person is not always visible but when he is visible he can physically touch him but when the person becomes invisible he just pushes "through" him.
There are 3 other characters in his dream who all try to help my son as he's being choked;
1. A WWII fighter pilot; he doesn't speak harshly to the cowboy, he just seems to be trying to distract his attention away from choking my son.
2. A white wolf; the wolf snaps and growls at the cowboy, if the wolf gets too close the cowboy becomes invisible.
3. A dark headed man in a suit; this person is actively trying to get the cowboy off my son as he's yelling at the cowboy but if the man comes too close the cowboy becomes invisible. My son says this man's accent is familiar as he speaks with the same "Texas" accent as us and he seems very angry at the cowboy.
There have been times when the 3 have managed to distract the cowboy and my son has been able to grab him and throw him off the balcony but that doesn't happened very often. He doesn't think the cowboy has ever "killed" him but he's usually gasping for breath during the dreams. END
My son won't go in the guestroom and I now understand why all the lights are on upstairs when I go up to wake him for school. My son is a 6"2', 270 lb. teenage boy who loves sports and has an encyclopedic knowledge of military history (he is definately an "old soul") but he's very scared otherwise he would not a said anything about this.
He says he seems "safe" in his bedroom and I've gone in there and said prayers for him and asked God for his protection from anything wanting to harm him. I told my son I would do the same in the guestroom but he asked me not to "just in case there is something in the guestroom he doesn't want me to disturb it to where it would leave that room". We have someone we trust very much who has "cleansed" our home before but unfornately she's out of town for 4 weeks.
If anyone has any insight to this I would be so grateful. I'd like to know if the dreams mean something more than just a dream and if something or someone wants to harm him? What can we do to stop the dreams?
Thank you in advance for your advice and guidance
Blessings from Texas
Hi Kookish, while you wait for an answer, heres a link that angel bee started..dream/journal thread, just click the link below and maybe some one can give you some answers there also..
Blessings from Vancouver,Canada:)
Thank you for this. I did read it prior to starting a new thread but I thought my info was long winded. I'll post there as well.
Thank you again
Blessings from Texas!
no problem, a great group on the other thread....:)
peace,light and love
Kookish, this dream is about a war going on inside of your son. He is not being attacked by outside enemies but by his own insecurities. I feel that he is avery insecure about his physical appearance and fears that he is unattractive, unmasculine, even ugly. This is represented by the image of the cowboy - a macho manly image that is insisting your son toughen up and not be such a sissy boy. He is the voice of your son's fears about himself. The three others who help your son are his guides and angels who are trying to make him understand that he is a good, worthy and lovable person. He imagines them as a fighter pilot and wolf for their fighting ability and courage and strength, and the dark-haired besuited man is the sophisticated opposite of the rough cowboy - therefore his perfect 'enemy'. There are no evil entities here - just your son's fears and insecurities about himself which given his terror of the dream, indicates the depth of his bad feelings. But a fifteen-year-old who is still growing into an adult is bound to feel these things. He must learn not to be so hard on himself. If it would make him feel better, he could join a gym or some sort of fitness programme or martial arts course to improve his appearance and health.
Captain, AMAZING and this makes perfect sense!
Our son was 10 lbs. at birth and has always been much biger than everyone else, even now he won't be 16 until the end of May and he's already 6'2" and 270 lbs. Perfect for a lineman but we don't spend all our time on the football field. He works out all the time but it's all football related, weight lifting & getting stronger, they do want the kids to be aerobically fit but there are only so many hours in the day and they focus on strength for the bigger guys.
He's also had some health issues in his life. He was in a wheel chair from 3-6 years old for a hip disorder where we need to keep his leg stabilized but he grew out of that.
Then in 4th grade he stopped growing in height but kept putting on weight and had other problems, mostly digestive issues. Finally, after 1+ years and 5 doctors we found out he's allergic to gluten. It's amazing the difference it made in his health and they think he was able to recapture his lost height - obviously and he's still growing.
Even though he feels so much better since removing gluten from his diet it does make for interesting social situations. He can't just grab a sandwich like everyone else, if they get burgers after a game he doesn't eat the bun. Eating is not so casual for him, he has to think ahead. I'm very proud of him for being a pretty compliant patient, especially for his age but I know some kids give him crap about it - those kids will always be around. Also, I do think he's been "cheating" with his eating. It's sort of like "why the heck not!".
He HAD a best buddy but that ended just as school started. They were friends first then we became close with the family and all was well, then one year my son was placed on a higher level team than his friend, the boys mom got a little weird about the whole thing and then everything just seemed to be a competition with her. This year her son was placed on a higher team than my son and now the boy doesn't even talk to my son and he's been kind of a jerk to him. The mom's been hot and cold with me and she's said some very not-so-nice things about my daughter. My son's opinion of this situation is his friend's mom made him be nice to him for "social" reasons, until his friend was put on the higher team, then the mom didn't care if they were still friends. This whole situation has really bothered my son.
He's had this dream for years but he said he was having it more often after school started. This is also when he lost his best bud. He was placed on a lower team than he expected but I'm sure the coaches had their reasons and when you're a big guy and you don't make varsity that really, really gets to you. I also think he's been a little lazy about outside workouts and I think it's because he's bummed about all this other stuff.
Also, you did a reading of a family photo a few weeks ago and right before the picture was taken the girl my son took to homecoming asked another guy to the winter formal. He thought she was going to ask him and it was very akward because she asked the boy in front of most of the team - including my son. My son is a big lineman guy and the boy she asked is one of the slender, fast guys and he said "she probably thinks fat guys can't dance". It was his first heartbreak and I took him out for ice cream, that's what I did for my daughter.
WHAT YOU SAID MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!
I have a few questions:
1. Is my son cheating on his gluten free diet?
2. Is my son right regarding the relationship with his former "best bud"?
3. Is my son just being lazy and having a big 'ol pity party?
4. Any additional advice?
This makes so much sense and I can't wait to talk to him about this. Hopefully, we'll all sleep better tonight!
Thanks again for everything - really!
Love & Blessings from Texas
1. Yes, in certain social situations. He can't always be bothered explaining his allergy as he doesn't want to feel left out. Maybe you could help him come with with a funny or witty excuse for it?
2. Yes, the other boy's mother pressured him into dropping your son from his friendship list but the boy isn't happy about it. He just doesn't want the hassle at home from his mother.
3. Not lazy exactly, more self-conscious about his weight.
4. He should get away from team sports and get into something that makes him - and only him - feel good, like martial arts, swimming, running'jogging, or gym work where he is not having to bulk up but acquiring mental and physical discipline, hard exercise, and power.
Has your son been tested for sleep apnea? I pick up an issue with breathing--either alergies restricting airway or his size--I think both. A lack of oxygen can cause an adrenilin rush--nightmares--feelings of being trapped--unable to breath--being chased. Feelings of dying come with low oxygin levels. Listen in while he sleeps---does he snore loudly or seem to stop breathing every few breaths--if he snores is it more than just a noise--does his chest seem to be straining to inhale?
Yes he does snore! He does have seasonal allergies - I never thought of that.
Thanks you so much!
Blessings from Texas
Once again - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Love and blessings from Texas!!
Blmoon as soon as I read the post I thought the same thing he isn't dreaming of being choked, his air way is blocked. Sleep apnea the first thing that jumped at me. I hope you are willing to have that checked kookish, as it could make a world of difference for your son and could very well be a reason for more stagnant behavior than would be considered normal for him. Take the advice, have it checked out.
I hope that your son will soon find a few good friends that will stand by him and allow him to shine as the remarkable young man he surely is.
Thank you for your thoughts on this regarding sleep apnea and for your encouraging words. I will get him checked out for this.
Thank you again for looking at this situation.
Love and Blessings from Texas!
I am so glad to hear that. I'm sure your son is a fine young man and if our hunch is right and you get this treated you may see a world of difference in him quickly. Take good care and please keep us posted on what you find out. I'll be praying that your son is able to get some peaceful rest and that whatever is disturbing his sleep can be resolved.
Captain, Blmoon & RCdreamer,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF THIS MOM'S HEART!
Yesterday when Blmoon asked if my son snored I really didn't know because now that he's 15 I don't check on him like I did when he was younger. When we travel we never sleep in the same room so I asked my husband if he snores and he said "Good Lord YES, like a freight train". He does wake up really tired but I just put it off to teenagers needing more sleep and I know he has allergies, gluten and seasonal airborne but I had NO idea he snored nor did I even think about this - AT ALL! THANK YOU!!!
Captain, your insight to this situation is right on about the way my son feels about himself and there's no doubt the "cowboy" he's battling is himself and his insecurities. When my son described the cowboy he said he had dark clothes and a dark hat but he was "blondish" and he said the hair color really stood out to him. This is meaningful because we describe my son's hair color as "blondish", it's kind of a joke in our family because it gets lighter in the summer so we just say he's "blondish" - I never thought about the cowboy being "himself".
Also, the dreams bacame more frequent at the beginning of the school year and this makes perfect sense and I believe ties into the the sleep apnea, especially since his allergies pick up in the fall and that seemed to be when some personal things were bothering him more than we knew. I know he was demoralized when he didn't make the team he expected and the loss of his friend was hurtful.
He LOVES football and wants to be good at it but he wants it to just "happen" versus doing some of the extra required work involved. He works out 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day but it's all TEAM workouts. Again there is only so many hours in the day but we really need to get a schedule in place to where he's allowed the opportunity to have something for himself that he uses his internal drive and personal discipline versus team workouts.
I will get with the allergist and move forward on getting him checked for sleep apnea and where we go from here. Also, we'll have a conversation with him about his internal battle. This will be an interesting conversation but I think he'll understand, he's pretty open minded about this type of stuff.
Thanks again for ya'll sharing your gifts to help solve some very worry some dreams and pointing us into the direction of helping with a potentially serious health concern
LOVE & BLESSINGS FROM TEXAS!
Hi Texas, its canada calling:) I'm so happy you got some answers...I was happy to see your thread moving along this morning...
I Just wanted to say hi and please let us know what the Alergist says about possibly sleep apnea...
love and light
Kookish I certainly am glad we were able to give you some input and reassurance. Keep us posted on your sons doctors evaluation and help him rest easy that it's not something in the guest room to fear. God Bless you both.
MyJourney, Hello up there in Canada!
Thanks for the "love and light" and I'm working on an update and will have it posted soon.
Thanks again for the concern.
Love and Blessings
Sleep Apnea (SA): After doing a little research based on what 2 of you recommended I discovered my son probably does have SA due to having quite a few risk factors; snoring, being overweight, having a large tongue, his neck being over 17", his is 18 1/2"! etc.
When I told our son about what ya’ll said this his reaction was surprising. He completely agreed that he could have SA and when I told him what Captain said he said that’s why it felt so real. After I explained the whole SA thing he got a little upset and said "Great, just one more freaking thing wrong with me". He's had so many health issues in the past and this was just one more thing for him to have to deal with.
At this time we’ve chosen not to do a sleep study but he does have any appointment with an ENT next week to look at his tonsils and go over the concerns of his snoring. At that appointment I’m asking him about a guard you wear at night that keeps your lower jaw in place while you sleep which help keeps your airway open. Our dentist said they can get this done but he can’t do this without a diagnosis from the ENT.
We've already implemented a few alternative recomendations I’ve discovered;
New pillow that encourages side sleeping
Saline wash to help shrink sinus tissue, he does this in the shower just before bed
Breathe Right nasal strips
He said he’s felt better in the morning, it’s only been 4 days 2 of them we over the weekend and he slept late so we’ll see how this goes until the ENT visit.
** Another alternative therapy is to play a “Didgeridoo”, an Australian Aboriginal instrument. It makes a beautiful sound http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g592I-p-dc. A study in the British Medical Journal found that learning and practicing the didgeridoo helped reduce snoring and sleep apnea by strengthening muscles in the upper airway, thus reducing their tendency to collapse during sleep. This strengthening occurs after the player has mastered the circular breathing technique. I doubt I’ll be getting one of these ; however, ever since I told my husband and son about this they’ve been walking up to me and mimic the noise – they think they’re SO funny! At least he’s keeping his sense of humor!!
Thanks again for this invaluable insight into his lack of oxygen during sleep. My son told me to tell you THANK YOU for checking in on him and trying to help him feel better. He says "I believe they can do that but I just don't get how they can do that - but COOL!". High praise for a 15 year old.
Dream: Captain, When I told my son what you said he laughed so hard and said that’s why the cowboy’s hair color meant so much in the dream! He agrees with what you see and it lead to a VERY LONG talk about how he feels. Of course he didn’t want to delve into it too much but he did feel better in knowing there isn’t anything out to get him in our home. He also liked what you said about his 3 guardian angel or spirit guides, he said they may be talking to him in the dream encouraging him, not trying to distract the "cowboy - how cool is that!" Once again high praise for a 15 year old. Thank you for this.
One thing that came out of this was it started a conversation between me and my husband. There have been a few things that has bothered us for some time about our son but we really weren’t able to put our finger on it until after our discussion of your assessment. For some time now our son’s been overly bothered by things and initially we thought it’s because he got hurt in October playing football and he’s worried about getting hurt again, basically being a “sissy” about the whole thing (like the cowboy said). But now we think there is something so much greater than this due to so many things our son said during our discussion. Something we thought he had put to bed. Maybe not?
Five years ago one of his good friends got mad and was walking behind him on the stairwell and with both hands shoved him down an entire flight of stairs. My son was very lucky, he only twisted his ankle but 3 days later we were in the Emergency Room because he was urinating blood due to a bruised kidney, it only lasted 2 days but it was very scary. It was a huge deal of course because it was considered “assault” at the school but the kids were only 10 and there is only so much they could do to a kid. This boy WAS friends with my son; however, the parents never made the boy apologize, they wouldn’t sign the forms at school to go into his records so basically nothing was done with the kid. There were 5 witnesses but only 2 would come forward because the parents didn’t want to get involved, the family has some issues. We felt it was handled as best possible by the school and you can’t force a parent to do the right thing but mainly we were just grateful our son didn’t break his neck. Now we think it may have affected our son much more than we realized.
Since that time the other boy has gone through some “changes”, his body has morphed into something not normal for his age, his parents held him back a year to give him more maturity and they LEGALLY changed his name to “brand him for the NFL” (I am NOT joking and this is from his mom’s lips to my ears). He’s now a “star” quarterback and at the beginning of the year he and my son had the same workout time and we just found out they moved him into my son’s athletic group in January. Now we think we understand why we’ve felt our son has been attempting to avoid athletics. Since January he's gone from a bad blister, to an infected toe, the flu, bronchitis and now he's failing a class and has to attend tutorials instead of workouts.
This hit us like a ton of bricks how all the pieces sort of fell into place with the realization of all the timing of things and when he started acting even more strange about things. Maybe we’re trying too hard to put the pieces together but I don’t think so.
Can you please help us with this and give us some insight?
1. Are my husband and I on the right track and did this hurt my son more than just the twisted ankle and bruised kidney?
2. And if yes, has this made him fearful?
3. Does my son feel “unworthy” and/or “anxious”? If yes, is this why?
4. If this is what’s wrong with my son right now I’m at a loss as how to help him get over this. At this point my husband and I have discussed finding a therapist. Any thoughts on this?
5. Do you have any insight into why my son was on the lower level team this year? Is it just where the coaches thought my son belonged this year or was there something else going on?
**I know this one sounds a little strange but then again I'm asking a very nice woman on the other side of the world I've NEVER met for advice. I think we're WAY PAST STRANGE HERE!! hehe
5. Is there something wrong with the boy and is he dangerous?
6. Is his mother dangerous, other than just being not so nice?
At this moment I feel so silly for taking up your time about my daughter and the Gemini boy that disappears, meanwhile all this is going on and I didn't even see it! Especially the Sleep Apnea - GEESH!!
Thank you again for your insight. my husband says "thank you" as well.
From our entire family,
Love and Blessings
That boy is taking growth hormones--with his parents permission---it is aceptable in many circles and considered safe by many but it is dangerouse and harmful to the body and has side effects--including aggression.
So sorry to hear the trauma your son has had to endure from the bully and his family. There certainly could have been lasting effects that hadn't surfaced before. Blmoon totally called it on the kid. I think he could be trouble but in a lot of ways I feel it isn't as much his doing as the affects of what he is being groomed to become. I feel the aggression could escalate but may not necessarily be directed at your son.
Anyway your son was our concern here so I am glad to see you are getting him some care and advice from the medical professionals and taking steps immediately to ease his breathing. He is a good kid and he is lucky to have loving parents who are willing to figure out a "teenager" so often today people chalk up all issues to age and you have proven if you go a little deeper there just might be something to learn from it all.