You and Love

  • @breze1 I can understand what you are getting at, but just because a dog or even a person is dependant on you, doesn't mean you possess them 🙂

    Captain, thanks for the insight, I think you're onto something. I feel as if I'm currently having to learn to find my strength and courage to deal with a bad relationship. I also feel I'll be put to the test in the coming months when my ex re-enters my life.

    I do admit I am a perfectionist, or maybe idealist would be a more accurate description. I also tend to worry too much. So your advice to relax and enjoy the present is not only good advice in general, it's very apt for me.

    Your comments on soulmates also makes a lot of sense. My ex and I were told we were soulmates, by an outside source. At the end of our relationship, we were bringing out the worst in each other. As you say, we were each other's worst enemies.

  • Hi Captain,

    You read for me nearly 2 yrs. ago and you were right, my friend is regretting his marriage of over 30 yrs. after he found me alive nearly 2 yrs. now. He expressed his suppressed feeling for me and I to him. The problem is his situation. I have none. He's been quiet. Not that he did not prepare me for this but what will happen in the future? Very sad here. Thanks


  • We all have many soulmates throught our lives - not all necessarily lovemates. Soulmates are those people (or animals) who push us forward and make us grow whether through happiness or pain. Our greatest enemies are also our soulmates because they are lesson teachers. Even our pets are our soulmates.

  • Tellstar, if you want a personal reading, you must click on the "Create a new topic" button at the top right of this page and I will answer you there. This thread is for general discussion.

  • It's important to understand whether it is a particular person you want to spend your life with, or just to be in a relationship because those are two separate issues. If you just want to be in a relationship to be socially accepted or less lonely or validated or assured of your attractiveness or whatever, then you may not be terribly picky about who you get involved with and may end up with the wrong person. You need to deal with whatever issues are making you so desperate to be in a relationship - any relationship.

  • I wonder why so many songs are about love - it's like a question or problem nobody can answer or solve. Why don't we have more self-empowering songs that don't mention having a partner to prop us up or be the answer to all our problems? Songs about the other things that make us happy - our careers or lifework, quiet time, self-discovery, etc. Or at least songs where someone has solved 'the problem' of love - which is working through your issues. Guess that isn't commercial enough. Angst is in. Singers like Pink semi-approach the issue of empowerment but I also notice she does keep referring to men and love a lot in reference to herself.

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  • But what else feels the soul more than love? money or material world are temporary contentment aspects and not necessarily gives you happiness in the end of the day.

    Attention, respect, openness, sharing etc are what we need through give and take love. when you give unconditionally, you also receive so.

    the suffering on LOVE I thing has to do when human ego is strong and insecurities are high and need for attention is self defeating our purpose of getting and giving love freely unconditionally.

    but yes love is so important to our lives. not only to be loved. but to be loved from Love.

    egz, I think myself i feel people love me. I don't feel unloved. but I still don't have someone to share my daily routine, happiness, or sadness and whatever. I am lucky enough to have my son. He is the best think I every could have so I am great full for it. I share some joy moments with him that nothing can replace it. Why not to have a husband like that?? lol

    I also choose so, but because I haven't been lucky enough yet in that department. destiny plays a role too.

    love, B

  • Captain...very much love Pink's latest "Effin' Perfect"....not really effin but you know...can't write that word here. LOL.

  • Isn't the search for love really just a search for a parent-substitute? We leave home and start looking for someone to love, support and protect us (sometimes even before we leave home). Whether we had good parents or bad, we seek out a person who will care for us in the way we want to be taken care of. One young guy I know told me he wanted to go from being cared for by his mother to being cared for by his wife - with nothing in between. He got what he wanted but it didn't work out well for him. He had no time on his own to learn to manage by himself.

    Bad relationships occur when our idea of the parent-substitute is based on bad or misguided parental role models. Maybe the attainment of independence is just the final stage of growing up.

  • Be careful what songs you listen to over and over - they can have the effect of an affirmation on your subconscious. So if you listen to a sad song about love gone bad, you might be absorbing and believing the message that love always goes bad.

  • Dear Captain, I think that may have been my ex-husband you met! Haha, just kidding, but it did seem like that is what he did...went from mom to first wife, then almost immediately to me...and after our divorce ( and during our marriage), from girlfriend to girlfriend...Also, if the thing about people (and animals) who cause us happiness and pain could be our soulmates, then do you think it is possible, even my ex-husband could be one of my soulmates...that would be a scary thought! 🙂 Well, maybe the next "soulmate" will bring happiness with him. After all, it's always nice to share. 🙂

  • Yes it is so true the songs we hear reflects our pain, and any kind of feelings we are most struggling at the moment.

    I myself have noticed that I listen too many song about lost in trust and not being able to ever forgive after I am hurt. And I do actually have problems of not trusting back or forgiving easily anymore..

  • I think P!nk "gets it" a lot more than her songs lead us to believe. Maybe more than she believes. She probably feels she has to mix in "men and love" so her songs are a commercial success. As such she may even believe it to a degree.

  • Hobbles76, soulmates are not those who bring us the most love but who bring us the most lessons.

  • Dear Captain, Yes, I have to say he definitly brought me plenty of lessons...and I do have two beautiful reminders that keep giving me more lessons. 🙂

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