How to make my cancer guy comes back?

  • Me and my cancers have been together for two years, since my family was very strict, we only seen each other like once every two months, but he never left, hes always here with me, no matter when im happy or sad i could always rely on him, he gave me everything like he could to make me happy.

    But things getting harder and harder, he had a fight with my dad, and dad said to him to leave me alone, but we still didnt give up.

    Last week, i found out he had a date with other girl, and he said to his friend im his ex already when we hadnt even borke up! I was so angry and asked him why, he said he had no intension to cheat on me, and i have been pushing him away, treat him like nothing, so he decided to give up, he said he cant do it anymore.

    I keep begging him not to leave me, and i have been calling him but when he pick up just told me to F off, and leave him alone, im so depressed that he never ever told me to off and never told me to leave him alone, and i still havnt gave up, i keep calling him and he told me he had moved on and he has a new gf and he said his gf treat him heaps better, they met everyday, and i should move on.

    I was shaking and could not think when i heard this, but the things he said just suddenly turn so sharp and i could not believe the things he said, i have a feeling he is saying this to hurt me to push me away but im not sure, im not sure if he has a new gf and move on already

    I been emailing him everyday like its my dirary, but he said he is been deleting them everyday and call me psycho and said dnt wana see me or talk to me.

    Please help, i cant eat i cant sleep, i lost 5 kilos already. Please

  • Tiffany920,

    Hi!, Oh Dear let him go his not worth it,I can feel you be strong.Keep yourself busy and find some out let to divert your attention not thinking of him. You need to move on having your family is involve the best way is to forget him.You'll be alright there's plenty of fish in the ocean.Give yourself a break and rebuild yourself again.

  • Thank you. But i really cant forget bout him, i keep calling him and he just told me to f off or switch off the fone or dnt even pick up, he said he delete my emails everyday, i dnt know whats the way out here

  • Okay, well, emailing him and calling him is definitely not working, lol! So, from what I can see, there's two options. So, it could be that:

    A) He wasnt feeling he was getting enough attention or maybe even credit in your relationship and so he's resorted to extreme games to get you to pay loads of attention to him, to seek him out, to show him you care. So, right now you are walking right into his mind game trap, if this is indeed what he wanted. Maybe he felt he was trying to hard to be there for you, and in HIS mind you weren't appreciating him.

    b)He's feeling you two can't possibly work out because of your tough situation, and instead of being a man and breaking up with you face to face, he just dropped you and hoped you'd just kind of go away. That seems really harsh, but a lot of Cancers are not confrontational and they'd rather do things the backhanded way instead of have to face drama (which he got anyway, lol).

    So, in both of these situations, I suggest to give him a LOT of space. Stop calling, stop texting, stop emailing. You just need to leave him alone and give yourself some time to cry it all out. Write in your diary, spend time with your friends, go the whatever you need to do to let out some steam, by yourself. Give it a'll see that you feel better already. Just give him the space he says he needs. If he wants to come back to you, he will on his own time. But don't keep paying attention to him when he tells you to "f off" or calls you names.

    Good luck!

  • Tiffany920, my suggestion is to stop emailing and calling him.

    Regardless the situation/ sign, when he tells you to f off and you still keeps on calling/ txting/ and emailing him. He will stop respecting you even when he's back with you.

    This is not a relationship you deserve, if he misses you, he will contact you, if not, then he had already moved on.

    Pick up a hobby, hang with friends, go to the gym and keep yourself busy.

    If you feel like it, you can keep on writing the email, but instead of sending it out to him, send it back to yourself, setup a folder in your email acct and put it in there. doing so, you can still express your emotion.

    Give yourself and him some time, take a step back, cool your head, then you'll be able to a bigger picture.

    Best wishes.

  • Honey, u cannnot make him come back to you. But u can show him u mean it. by is the simple step of leaving him to his devices. let him explore n do his thing wether with someone else or not. when he sees ure a longhaul longterm patient person he may return. as for now his mind is made up n sadly u aint a part of it.

    yes it bloddy well hurt when they choose someone else bc u ask what did i do wrong, why her why not me what has she got that i aint got.

    consider his harsh words im willing to bet miss new gf was in room. the cancerian males i know aint keen on using hurtful words. in fact they dont.

    study up on the sign cancer male n u will know much more of his ways. ye i know its a snippet of what a person is. I would also suggest u to visit ivillag dotty com n join their forum n ask especially ASK MEN section, there u get ur questiosn replied by men. N who else is better to tell u why ur cancer man acts as he does at this time than a man?

    we women can only at best guess, n come with long insightful maybs n what could b n what may be. Whereas men say it like it is. I strongly feel u need right now a like it is reply.

    wish u luck sweetie

    cwb also a casulty of cancer choosing someone else lol

  • Sweetie, It sounds like you have moved from a regular relationship into an addiction issue for yourself. Whether the relationship is good or not, whether he is done or not is no longer the issue. You are going to make yourself sick if you don't get a handle on the addiction part. It's very dangerous; you must take immediate steps. I know it may sound impossible, but you MUST stop contact for 3 weeks. If you are really seriously looking for help, I will give you some pointers on how to proceed forward, but you must be ready to deal with the mental addiction before anything else. Otherwise, there is no help for you, I fear.

  • Hi!CWB,

    I would like you to know that I do like your thread and your advice or insight here. Most of the time you enlighten me. When I read your answers to some thread. You had a clear view to Cancerian guys. Your perfectly right and I can totally relate from all the people had hurt badly on most of the cancer man.I thought I'm already free from all the pain that I experienced on my past but there are moments I'm thinking of him. The good thing now is I can control myself to keep in touch. I already put in my mind that I need to rebuild my self respect and be who I am and what I want.I ask The Captain for photo view and I was saf on what The Captain so in me but I had nothings against that so far I get his point and trying to cope up and love myself. I stay away from this cancerian and the only thing that I want was to end up in a nice way I had all the right to say something to this guy but his damn good for his rudeness and abusing me in his bulgar words that always makes me confused why his doing that to me for no reason. He asking me to talk once and for all to finish everything but I can feel that time that he only want me to get laid. I said yes that's fine I do asked him to give me favor to give me a hand to some problem at my place and he said that's fine. Actually he gave me a day of his day off and I agree so I don't need to call someone and pay for it.You can't believe it the way his talking to me while I'm asking for his help was pretty cool after having an argue with him. He used to teased me If I need him for fun and I insist to him I prepared to be your friend and it's nice to end up in a nice and peaceful way as we both agree. What happen next he never turn up. Wow ! I'm wasting my one day for keep waiting for him and the bad thing was he made me worry for him for didn't turn up cos his mobile was off. I'm so worried and I can't sleep at all I'm thinking something bad happen since I can't sleep for worrying to much I'll ring his mobile around 3am it's a relief the phone is on but I never wait for him to pick it up instead I went to bed . Since I thought everything was all good I message him in the morning and I said to my message hope all us well to you , you makes me worried yesterday I thought you will help but you didn't turn up and I can't reach u. He never replied then I message I again cos he makes me feel so bad for his doing to me I told him were is your courtesy call and respect to me and everyone deserved that no matter what. My god his abusing me again and telling to his message that all in me was for good time and Sex only . And I'd I won't stop messaging him meaning I want him to get laid and so many nasty words . I told him to stop everything cus I heard so much from him and I get what he wants to me and a billion times that I'm aware that he likes me for fun nor for relationship and I admit that. That's why I need to let him go but the only thing that I want was to end up in a nice way. And all I want for him is to talk personally cos I felt that I'm a part of his good turn to be bad person now. I questioning him why he needs to disrespect me for I don't nothing wrong to him but to care and I never expect anything from him in return and I do get what he wants on me that's why I decided to let him go in a nice why. He answered me back that his a good person once and not anymore now his a cock like a sec machine and I have to accept that it's just fun. His the one lied to me. He told me that he was single dnd want to get to know me and we get a long and I was told that were pretty past on our getting to know each other. He was aware that I don't like a guy seeing me as a sex object. I was told let's see how we go. I believed in all the bullshit . When he left for overseas and I was surprised cos he never once said to me that his having a plan to travel for all he knew that is like travelling too. I knew that he will visiting his exgf he told me the story of his past. Asking me what about me what is my plan strange question but I answer him back I'm just here when he get back . Informing that he will not using his mobile and there's no way to contact him I said to myself fine . After a week I received email telling that she was the girlfriend overseas of this cancer man I was totally disappointed and I never once replied to any of her email I find myself guilty cos I know how she felt and I don't want those things happen to me . I can't ccontrolled myself I tried to ring his mobile to confront I wad shocked his phone working he answer his mobile and I askedhim why he lied to me . He said to me that they doesn't have relationship she just can't believed that his going out now. I told him to leave me alone and leave me out of his messed. Begging me to talk and explain to clear the air and telling me that his exgf hacked his account as we get along I knew that he lied to me but too late for me cos I already hook on him. Mimi twisted his drama and when he found out that I'm in to him manipulating me,abusing by using bulgar words that I never once hearing to anyone that I knew calling me names and swearing on me for no reason. I'm so disappointed and I honestly felt sorry for his attitude . I told him I would never be his friend nor I won't give him a chance to meet him up again and if I bump him outside I'll make sure he never exist to me. I will only talk to him. If his stop doing his playing games. And I said to him that he need to stop that I knew that I'm not the only victim here and I regret that I trust him and I allow him to my life and he makes me feel so disappointed cos he was in to this mind games . When I said to him he need to stop not for anyone else but for his own good. I explained to him that he only hurt his self by doing this and to people he used to hang around and played with this games. What he said he never once care about me and I can't see the point that all he wants me to do is to leave him alone cos I'm nothing but his fubu. I said enough for this but he talk a lit of shit that I can't take it anyone. I'm so mad but I don't want to keep this with all my heart but I told him that I will carry everything he does to me. I wish him to wake up and stop his stupidity. I really don't know how but I'm still praying for him that's the only thing that I can give to him for now.

  • Hello annielan,

    You are on the right track. Praying for him is a compassionate and courageous thing to do, but as you pray, ask for the strength to release him to the Universe. He is no longer your problem, allow the Universe to take care of him and to help him grow.

    Also ask for the strength to resist the temptation to contact him. I know it is really painful for you right now, but it will get easier. I promise.

    ~ Marc

  • Annielan i agree with PisceanHealer.

    if u wish remain friends only n stick to it. nolonger wait if he offers. at least with contractors they must b paid to show n do the work. no show no pay. simple n more secure.

    u´ve worked hard on urself, so pat urself n say i did my job now i work on me. If the destiney say he is to b in my life, make sure he changes first, bc this behavior i do not deserve, no one does.

    so if u can sweetie work on u n when u think of him juss think thank u 4 teaching me a man i dont want nor need anymore.

    it might sound negative BUT its overall positive,

    bless ya


  • "When a Man wants you, Nothing can keep him away ;

    When a Man doesn't want you, Nothing can make him stay" -- Oprah Winfrey

  • PiecerianHealer and CWB,

    I now working on it asked I said I do have my own issues in life I have enough of negativity and I'm afraid of myself that's my main concern. The Captain pick up on my picture that the face that I used to wear a smile is not me.All my life I always give my everything to please people matters to me and they can be abusive makes me feel so disappointed and I keep it with my heart. And I ruin myself for that. I don't hate myself and I do have a trust to myself the only thing that I need to work it out is to be come a stronger person . I admit that I'm a weak person deep down inside and as long as I'm carrying on that it wouldn't help me to grow.I'm a nice person I know I deserved someone who will see me for who I am and not for my physical appearance that sometimes bother me. I never once over stepping anyone nor makes then unhappy being a part of my life but it killing me and makes me feel like a monster and a big bitch to them cos they heat my break and by doing that I lost my break. I felt blessed to hear someone advices here though there are times I couldn't follow it due to my stubbornness. But for now I really mean it cos I knew it affects in my personality.

    I had a lot of patience but lately I cam easily irritated and it's not the typical me. PiecerianHealer , I felt great to hear from you, your a man and I know some how you can feel me . I really don't deserved those kind of treatment. CWB your totally right some of the thread that I read here was makes me feel confused and it's always a puzzle to me. They said the cancerian didn't mean to hurt feelings of someone who was involve with them. I guest that's not true on my own situation he already knew my weakness and I told him not to used it against me. That was he does every time we had argue I find him manipulated and insecure for what I'm doing but he attack me in a sneaky ways and obviously his bulliying me.His the man having slip personality that is true I find him jealous comparing he had no will to do what I'm doing cos he needs to work hard for him to settle his financial status. And I do asked him why he needs to call me names and swearing f

    instead of clearing the air. He just silent and begging me to please sealed my lips when we meet personally which I do for him to comfort and makes him relax for all I know his problem was much heavier than me.This guy was totally rude and had no manners at all his abusing me for using bulgar words and slap on my face that I'm just for fun and nothing more than that opposite of his personality every time were together.I'm only human and I'm so mad at him for sending me silly message and bulgar words that I never once heard to any person closed to ne or matters to me. His a pathological liar, user, abusive, manipulative. He really need a prayer to deliver his self that is true PiecerianHealer I need to set myself free from him as the day passing I've lost my sympathy to this man he humiliate me and demoralized me.Very an human act and it makes me felt so sad cos his not the man that I used to know and I felt totally different on him now. If I think about it I shouldn't go further than this but I do allow him to do this to me. I honestly had no intention to be his friend nor giving him a chance the only think that I can do is to pray for him. I'm hoping for his best in a feature . Thank you guys it's another day of a good relief , I'm now hibernating like a panda bear here Lol... Big Big Hugs and Kisses to you guys Cheers 

  • honey im here for u babe. i think u have reached ur point of enough is enouigh, so if u happen to b where he is n he begins his effs, let loose, slip ur tongue say ur mind n dont worry one eff nbit of consequences. lady angel u have paid ur dues in advance 4 at least 4 lifetimes.

    so start saying yo eff hole ya is effing outta effing line n ill tell u the eff what the eff an eff u are.

    contionue on to his weaknesses, his flaws his personality his behavior.

    I think once oughta get the message to him n totally schock him in his eff.

    i know we as women prefer NOT to raise our voices n call an eff out BUT at times one has to. I had to do this last year after countless of abusive verbal and non verbal attacks against me. I finally snapped n told him my mind. After it was done he tried again but i shot him down. I felt MANY was happy someone had the guts to tell this EFFHOLKe twerp what an nuisance eff hole he is. The twerp is THE most arrogant effhole i have EVER met.

    if u wanna know more of this effhole u may wanna visit n read the pages on Today I HATE thread and Today I wanna WACK thread.

    bless ya angels

  • annielan, I can see that you are growing and that you are gaining in strength. So many times in your last post you say things like "I don't deserve to be treated like this... I deserve better than this." You are starting to respect yourself. Finding and enforcing your boundaries. Keep doing that.

    Once you manage to get over the hurt and the anger, you know what will happen? Men will be attracted to you. The right kind of men. Why? Because you'll have an air of confidence about you.

    As for your ex; bear in mind that astrology is very complex. Just like us humans. His sun sign is just one part of it. There's also his ascendant and moon signs, which also play large roles in his life. There are also others like Mars and Venus signs. In fact, his Mars sign may be the answer to why he is behaving so badly right now.

    Look at it from this point of view. In astrology, the sun is the centre or the core. Our sun signs are therefore our centre or core being. It is our true self and our ego. His behaviour is going against everything you know about Cancer. In essence, he is not being true to himself. His ego is bringing out the worst in him (there are negative aspects to all signs by the way).

    He is out of balance. Way out of balance. He's attacking you from a point of weakness, making him feel strong, whereas you are feeling weak, but from a place of strength. You will continue to grow from this, he will just stagnate.

    Next time you are in the shower (if you take them), imagine the water washing away all the anger you are feeling. Look down at the water swirling down the drain and imagine it taking all the bad feelings with it.

    Just make sure you don't wash away your boundaries any more 🙂

    ~ Marc

  • Awesome! Marc you got it right recently I felt so good I mean everything is well.This not how I felt for the last few months , Oh well since last year while I'm having my holiday. Everything to me was so wrong I can easily loosing my patience for such a petty issues unlike now all is well and I make things easy slow but surely.And every time I look at myself on the mirror my aura is totally different there's a glow in my eyes and felt so lovely and all is great. At this moment in time I can relate to your words that I can attract the right person in to me life.The only problem was I don't feel like I need someone next to me .I'm focusing to myself awareness and disciple and of course loving myself. I lift them up to the Lord and he will make away from me and to all of us .God is good he never let's us down .By the way my dear its a bit odd to me your ex sample about water . I went to the pool and having this afternoon.I'm having a goose bum now honestly .At this moment in time I'd love to be alone in the house.I am also to doing some magazined

  • I'm a water sign annielan 🙂 I revere it's power as a cleansing/healing tool - even in the form of a tsunami. But, there's no such thing as a coincidence, so I'm glad my words held meaning for you.

    When you say: "The only problem was I don't feel like I need someone next to me". That is most certainly NOT a problem! In fact it may be the best place to be. A good friend of mine has been enjoying her single life for a while. She admits to feeling lonely at times, but overall she too felt she didn't need anyone.

    A month or so ago a man came into her life. She is really happy and things are looking good for them both 🙂

  • By the way Marc, that is what I'm always trying explaining to him his action is against to his words all the time. He can really explain why his doing that to me. And once you prove to him that he was so wrong he wouldn't even bother to say sorry . I actually felt so sorry to him he doesn't know what his doing is to ruin his self. I do tried my best to make all things better and make the most out of it.

    I guess this is the perfect timing for me to accept my fault , acceptance , forgiveness to change my attraction to anyone will tried to win my heart..

  • Hi! DonkeyPoofed , you got a point in that nice qoute by Oprah Winfrey, That is totally right the man who really care and love you will never leave you. That words was easy to say that quote for me is not applicable but I can relate. It is always depend on the scenario how things goes wrong. He supposed to stay but I already knew his other side of being good pretender and innocent to the crime that he commit. And can't resist to ask some question or any justification why , what, where did I go wrong to put me in this kind of situation.They said love is sweeter on the second time around right in this quote once in their life they fell a part so meaning they couldn't hold its others arms at the first time. so there is always aloof whole in and love story and the best thing to do. If you can't stand each others arm leave but make sure don't leave a mark that will mark in our heart .On the other hand he made me stronger by break my heart , He thought everything from falling a part and I'm still alive cos someone's waiting for me. Lol

  • That's right. Carry on praying for him and release him to the Universe. God loves him as much as he loves you. He will be taken care of as God sees fit.

    Pretty soon you'll be beating men back with sticks 😉

  • Ooh, love is sweeter the second time around. I like that! I could do with that 😄

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