Captain, could you give me some advice/insights for my relationship?

  • I hope to hear your opinions on my problem. It's been going for nearly 2 weeks since we broke up. We were together for nearly a year.

    We had been in this distance relationship and haven't seen each other for 6 months. My ex claimed that I broke his heart 4 months ago as I had a fling but nothing more and ended up confessing and apologising to him. He said that his feelings were gone and that's why he broke up with me. He said he wanted to wait for me to come back and tell me that but I found out earlier. He said he has been hiding it away from me, pretending that he still loved and cared and all but still thought that maybe when we met face to face, we could work something out. I tried to comfort him and asked for his patience because I will soon be back with him. But he said he couldn't do that.

    After the break up, he has been talking to me online, checking if I'm ok and if I'm getting over him and all. Until last night, I couldn't take it and questioned his sudden responsibility of making sure "I'm ok" whereas he has been faking the responsibility and love for nearly the entire relationship. And he got angry and said that this is entire bullsh*t and that everything that I said was right, even if sometimes in the future he said he wanted me, just would just be because he wants to sleep with me. I tried to calm him down and asked if he just wanted to try again, just tell me. And to which he replied "No I don't want. I don't love you anymore". And then he sent me a message says "F**k you all".

    I don't get the sudden anger and why he is still putting me through all of this? When we were still together he was always jealous with my new friends and asking me to cut contact with them. And now post break up, he is still raging against me for what reason, I really don't get.

    Do you think there is a chance I could try and work this out with him because I'm coming home very soon? Is he confused? Maybe he needs me. Or maybe not. I don't really know why but I'm prepared for anything that comes along.

    My DOB: 13.12.1988. 7pm

    His DOB: 24.11.1991 7pm

    Thank you and waiting for your replies 🙂

  • Why are you confused? This is not a sudden anger - it has been simmering in your ex ever since you cheated on him. He tried to repress it because he hoped he could get over it and trust you again but he could not do it. You have lost his trust and that's the bottom line. All he has left for you are feelings of rage, rejection, and betrayal. He will never fully trust you again so trying to renew your relationship is a waste of time and energy. You hurt him and he's done with you. Power struggles would have always torn you two apart - this was not a good relationship for love. Conflicts and bad feelings were inevitable.

    Better now to work on your own issues about love and loyalty. Maybe deep down you are not ready for commitment to anyone or maybe just this one guy.

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