Cappie ended friendship AGAIN! Need insight please
My cappie guy friend and i have been having several misunderstanding the past few days. Due to this he ended our friendship again. I tried explaining to him how much our friendship meant to me, but he simply got angry. I mentioned in another post that i've been having trust issues with him due to catching him in a few lies, my trust issues are also due to a bad past relationship. When i explained to my cappie guy friend that honesty was important to me and what i had went through with a very dishonest relationship in my past and the problems it caused he became angry and said that i was treating him as though he was the guy from my past that had lied and hurt me. I assured him that this was not the case and told him that i didnt ever want him to feel the need to have to fib to me abt anything. He said he felt like the only reason i wanted him in my life is to help me cope with my painful past. Im not sure why he feels this way, and he didnt want to discuss it so i didnt push the issue.
Cappie seems very hurt or angry, or both, not sure. But he basically told me that he cant handle my trust issues and that i make him depressed. Just a couple months ago he came back after ending our friendship and told me how much he missed me, now he's saying the opposite. He played a push/pull game with me constantly. He would pull away and become distant, so i usually became distant as well. When i distanced myself he came back full force, but as soon as i picked up communications with him, gave him attention, he would pull away again.
Since we live miles and miles apart he asked several times just recently if i would come see him. So, i planned a trip with my gal friends and told him abt it. He seemed very nervous that i was coming to visit. A week later he then said he wanted to see me when i visited. I then told him i couldn't wait to see him, that i had a big hug ready for him. Then later that same day he said "everything was all too quick to him", and "he wasnt interested in talking abt my visit anymore". I have no idea why he acted this way. Then he began accusing me of wanting more than friendship with him, i responded by telling him that i cared abt him but wasnt ready for a relationship other than friendship. He said "good, i'm not looking for a wife". But he still continued to accuse me of wanting more than friendship. He told me his life is going great right now and he was afraid i would ruin it. I told him i didnt know why he felt that way, that i cared abt him and wanted nothing more than to see him happy. I told him we didnt have to meet up when i came to visit, that i would just go visit other friends i know in the same area, he became more distant when i said that. He then tried to talk me out of making the trip all together.
Today when he ended everything he told me "its better this way". Also said he felt repulsed when i told him i cared abt him. Since when is caring abt a friend a bad thing??? He told me not to contact him anymore, and that was the last i heard from him. Im respecting his wishes and wont bother him. But i feel so sad because i feel things could have been worked out. I enjoyed his friendship so much, he was stubborn and had a big ego, but he was so charming and kind too.
Will he come back or is it over for good this time? I told him i wanted him in my life, but he said he didnt want in mine. I dont understand whats going on with him. Can someone pick up on any of this? Or when he may be back? How does a person go from wanting to meet up with you to not wanting to see you, and for no reason? He seems so confused or something.
Sorry this is so long, just needing some answers or insight. You all have been wonderful (and correct) when you helped me in the past.
His dob: 12-27-60. My dob: 9-8-76.
I'm so sorry to hear this usually cap & virgo are good friends but it does take time and sometimes at the very begining there are squables, but things come around after the intro and the two usually become good friends and even an item. caps don't like to become friends to quickly they usually have trust issues, and also they don't like it if people want to quickly get into their business or tell them how to run things, and they don't like fast talkers or one that talks a lot, but just give it time and have an attitude of i'll see ya when i see ya, and call him on his fibs and let him know u don't have time to play games either we are friends or not period, if things don't clear up go on your merry way and ignore him! from a cap!
Thanks for your reply, and for taking the time to read all that lol. We've been friends for 2 years. It started out great but slowly started going downhill. He did make a comment that he felt like i was trying to tell him what to do, i didnt mean to sound bossy when i told him he didnt have to lie abt anything. All he kept saying was that he was gonna do what he wanted. He even came out and told me, said "you're not my wife, i'll do anything i want, if i wanna get a one-night stand i will, its my business". I was in shock, i didnt even understand where that comment came from lol.
I do agree with them not liking those who talk a lot, i talk A LOT..and he always would tell me to shut up or go away. I usually always did as he asked.
What will ignoring him do? Wont that give him the impression that i dont want him as a friend?
And lots of good useful information in your post, thank you. I love ya caps, but you can sure be confusing :)..