Looking for insight from Cancers

  • I'm looking for valuable insight into the behavior of a Cancer man, and how I should handle the situation. I did something to betray his trust, causing him to end our relationship. He says I ended it with my actions. I have asked him for another chance, but he says I need to let him go. I was prepared to do that, but after I sent him an email basically saying I give up, I'm done, etc., he came back around to talk. I kept it pretty light hearted, and told him I was attempting to move on, per his request, and I didn't ask for another chance or to talk again. We work together, and since then he has kept in contact, casually teasing me through emails, and light hearted banter. When I try to talk about relationship stuff through email, I get no response. I just don't get it!! All of this has taken place over the past few weeks, so I understand he needs time to trust me again, but talk about mixed messages! I just don't know if I should pursue him, or act aloof. I've already put myself out there, and seemed to get the best response when he thought I was giving up.

    I appreciate any feedback and advice!

  • Oh boy- the retreat and peek. Confusing isn't it?! Well- don't think it is any easier for the Crab! I'm guessing he isn't sure what he wants from you, either. I'd just "fly casual" for now and let him sort it out in his own time and mind. You've put yourself out there, and the ball is in his court here now.

    if you want to get the crab perspective, here it is: Trust is one of those things we give very slowly and take away extremely quickly if we get burned. I was glad to see you understood that. BUT-

    on the other hand ( is there any Libra in his chart?!) we crabbies also hate to lose anything of value, including former lovers/friends/coworkers. So we play "retreat and peek " over and over until we are sure we are not going to get burned again. As much as it can be difficult, I'd play it cool and casual and take care of yourself first and wait it out.

    Phenonix mom

  • PS Did I mention that my son is a Leo, my hubby an Aries? ( wink!)

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  • Thanks for replying. I will definitely TRY to be patient, but it's hard!!

  • I am a cancer women and have dated a Leo man. Man... Leos are persistent, at least my ex was. The cancer guy probably just reacted with his emotions, he was really heartbroken and on a personal level I tell people that when I want to get over them, it's just easier for us. But since he is pursuing you again, it must mean he likes you A LOT. Keep it casual, don't talk about the relationship until HE brings it up. Go on his time now and if you are not patient then move on. It will definitely take a lot of time for him to trust you again. Keep showing you are interested and be good to him

  • LilCrabby, as a Cancer woman, may I ask if you mind your Leo being persistent? or you find it annoying?

    I'm being patient with my cancer, but I don't know if that's what she wants?

  • When it comes to certain issues it's annoying, such as talking about a sensitive topic, as far as texting and stuff if you are in a relationship a cancer woman likes the attention, she likes to feel wanted and loved, go ahead and text everyday but not 20 times a day

    Keep it moderate. Not saying that u do text 20 times a day lol

    The problem with my Leo man was that he wasn't going anywhere with his life. He was stuck in his same cycle for 5 years and barely could take care of himself. As a cancer, I needed to have a secure home and I felt lime it was unstable with my Leo ex. I hated his persistency which i felt was clinginess. Everytime he would hear me leave he would text or call me right away asking me where I am going, etc. That's annoying. That sort of persistency I don't like

  • LilCrabby, Thanks for your response, my situation is a little bit different, but it's a long story, in short, she wanted space and time to focus on her career and IMO she is pushing me away.

    I do have a stable job with decent income that can support 2 persons, not that she need me to support her, she has a great job too, just not super secure as her field is very competitive.

    Our last txt contact was on 1/15, I'm giving her space and time, as she wanted, I didn't attend 3 mutual friends' party because she might be there. I don't want to run into her when she's not ready to see me yet.

    I do love her very much, because of her busy work schedule, I once went to the airport at 5am (with her permission) to pick her up from her business trip, just so I can spend a little bit more time with her when I drove her home.

    She told me that she know I'm genuine, but she just doesn't have time/ energy to focus on a relationship now.

    She's still the one I think of every morning when I wake up.

    I just hope that by giving her space/time, and being patient and persistent will eventually win her heart back.

  • I think you are doing the right thing. Don't bother her too much, but do show that you still care for her. She is just extremely focused on her career and when she feels secure she will come back to you. You didn't have to avoid that party, next time if both of you are in the same place just wait til she comes to you. Cancers want to feel secure and safe whether that be about love money or career related.

  • That's where I have questions, with persistence. I've read that Cancers need to be consistently reassured of your feelings and have attention given, that your feelings need to be proven, but I've also read that they need time and space. I want to give him what he needs to feel secure with trusting me again, and I want to get him back. Its against my nature to give time and space in a situation like this...I need to work it out right away, and get past it. I forgive easily. I'm so afraid of, "out of sight, out of mind".

  • LeoMama, I have that same worry with out of sight out of mind when I first try to give her space.

    My take on it is that I know if I try anything right now, I'll be pushing her further away, I could never win her heart over her career.

    I figured, if that's really the case, then maybe I just wasn't meant to be with her, I already gave it my all.

    I guess there's a gap between Leo's definition of time/ space/ persistence vs Cancer's.

    My gut is telling me to wait it out. You can only ask urself if he/she is worth your time.

    I think mine is worth every second of it, even if it means having my heart broken one more time.

    IMO, in your case, you can't press him to discuss about the relationship at this moment since you are the one who did something to betrayed his trust, you'll just have to wait until he feel comfortable enough to bring it up.

    Ask urself and think about it, if you can't handle it, it might be best to just stay as friends, from all the things I've read about Cancer, chasing after them will be a long ass battle for Leo, don't try it unless you are extremely patient, and I do mean extremely.

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  • I can and will be patient, but it's hard!! However, my gut tells me this is the one for me, and I will do what it takes to regain his trust. I appreciate the sharing, knowing there are other Leos in similar situations is comforting, and it's great to have the support!

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  • Cancerman is right... As a female cancer I am the same way. If he is the one... Then u must be patient and go on his own time. He needs time to heal. We go by emotion. it seems like he is still interested but he is still cautious, he doesn't want his heartbroken twice. If he tries to communicate, communicate back, but don't initiate too often.

    The whole persistency thing again... Yes we do love attention and want to feel wanted, but we need our space like everyone else. If we don't respond right away it doesn't mean it's a bad sign. We are just cautious in the beginning and it may take us time to FULLY commit to a person because we need to know they are trustworthy so they don't hurt our feelings. Maybe this is why we appear like we hide in our shell. Lol

  • I understand much better now...thanks for the replies 🙂

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