TRANSFORMING YOUR SELF......
This is from Blue Moon, I like this idea, RC i love you so much, we can do it!
I'm putting all that extra weight on this butterfly's back--I hear they are magicaly strong and can make things disapear! Believe! "
Cold Chicken for lunch, which I heated a co-worker gave it to me on Wheat or Honey Wheat bread and water, gotta get the Pomegrante Juice too!
Okay Butterfly I think It would take a fleet of them, take these pounds away and give it to the hungry in other countries, good idea!
Some encouragement for my Sister's......
Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
P.S. Always rise, we all fall down, but we get up and up and up.....
"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt." - Frederick Buechner
"I believe in the essential unity of all people and for that matter of all lives. Therefore, I believe that if one person gains spiritually, the whole world gains, and if one person falls, the whole world falls to that extent." Mohandas K. Gandhi
"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
- Hafiz of Persia
BUMP, WALKED 3 LAPS THIS MORNING, YEAH!
Where are you's.....
I know that some say food "addiction" can be triggered by allergies. I have a friend who just did a cleanse candida etc and found out what foods she was allergic to. She feels much better.I feel for her tho her foods are so restricted now.
You are so right Poetic we do need to take our power back society has this unreal picture of what a woman is. We are all unique.
I'm so eager for spring this has ben a wet cold windy winter.
Can't chat gotta ride to work.
Hey girl, good for you. We took a really really long walk with the pup this morning. The weather here is beautiful today, you need a coat but the sun is shining and we are soaking it in. Little one and I sat out on the front stoop after our walk and talked about mom mom's good old days when she was little. She was a gracious audience to my stories, the dog was resting from the walk, sometimes we forget she has very small legs and we over work her a bit. Then we took a power walk this afternoon with daughter after her therapy session. The whole time she kept saying this was a mistake, we went pretty far and afterward little one said "man mom mom you're making me tired today!" So I had my egg sandwich breakfast, more cold chicken for lunch a concept the little one has a hard time grasping, dinner is up in the air. Hoping to get to the store tomorrow to get some more fruit and salad fixings in the house.
Hi again, more truth to rid my pain!
I took a couple of days to think about my eating habits...as i wrote my last post all the guilt set back in where i wanted to repeat old habits, of food making me severely ill...
Guilt feelings around food makes the tears swell up in my eyes as i write this...Wanting so much to be that perfect woman,mother,sister,friend,wife, etc....but there is so such thing in a human to be perfect!
as a child we never had much food, or when we did it came to our door in brown bags:(
i was thinking just now that my food addiction and hiding it gave me power, it was something that i could control and know one could take that from me, but me alone...Its like the last dirty secret, that still has power over me.
if this was a thread about, alcohol addiction, sexual abuse,physical abuse,mental abuse, suicide,depression,death of love ones,death of partners...i would be the first one to jump in and talk about these subjects with pure unconditional love,because i am a survivor of all of these. "So, why the fear to talk about food?"
"why is the shame around food so tied to me?"
"This is a question i cannot answer, and the answer has to come from me!"
My partner P is in great shape, he rides his bike every where and only good food goes into his Temple! When were together I enjoy making our meals together and its all soul food...My children, when they were younger I would make certain only good food would go into their tiny bodies.So again, why can't i do that for myself? its like I'm punishing myself in a sick sort of way by gorging and hiding away food scraps, Not to that extent but it feels that way!
I have told my partner but not to this extent, now i feel he watches me, and sometimes he will say Sheila...why are you eating this or that...then i feel that shame set in all over again.
This just popped into my head, "I'm f***** lonely'.. I guess i want to blame him for all of my trauma around food, "not blame", but a trigger that gets set off from somewhere so deep inside, that it hides beneath layers of pain.
I told my partner because he also had issues around food, "yes men do have the same feelings"...and he understood, i thought.
when i buy my 11 year old daughter her snacks, i tell her to hide them on me, sort of like, "out of site out of mind"...now what am i teaching her, i am asking myself..
THIS VOICE INSIDE IS YELLING! "HIDE FOOD",
OK, THIS IS ENOUGH FOR THIS DAY...I WILL COME BACK,PINKIE PROMISE:)
Poetic, aka SPUNKY ONE:)
I read that post to you from Blmoon and i always treasure Blmoon's words as if she was writing them for me:)
Thank you once again, sweet Blmoon, Namaste' Dear sister:)
Thanks for listening to me once again everyone, and thank you for your loving words and guidance.
Namaste' "Earth Angels"
Girl you have nothing to hide, any childhood were food is scarce you are gonna store up for the winter like a squirrel thats all it is. My best friend Dot's family were poor and I think the mom had like 11 children and when mom went to the grocer's and they ate it all in one day, she would tell them, when it's gone, it's gone and thats it until the next trip, She introduced me to a Sauce sandwich when we were young and I said what the hell is that? Spaghetti Sauce on Bread! There are differnet degrees of poor I remember my Great Grandma too used to say, "Who messed with my somethin to eat." Now what was a somethin to eat?? I guess to her generation whatever you could get. Well sugar your healing is starting just with the talking and who cares??
When we face our fears/demons then we shed the light on them and they have to come out of the closet. I have faced almost everything you have, not the alcohol but I understand that too. Nobody can suprise me anymore. We are who we are because of circumstances, do you notice almost all of us are victims of our childhoods? Or should I saw were because we have choices now, try this Sweet Pea, next time you are gonna gorge say" I don't have to do that anymore." There is plenty to eat, put it back and walk away and don't go back in there, resist the urge, hear me in your mind saying "Girl you don't need to do that anymore and leave until the urge passes.
I believe you can stop, whenever you want, just stop pulling that trigger girl. Run the other way, it will work, try it, you can do it.
Look at all you have already overcome, after all that, this is nothing!
Maybe let someone else do the dishes after dinner or don't have any leftovers, freeze them and don't go back until they are frozen (eureka, just got that).
You are stronger thatn you think you are, I have no excuse just love to eat, emotional eater, bored, greedy, yes, yes, yes. But not anymore, WE ARE DONE WITH THAT. FOOD KILLS, DIABETES, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, WHICH CAN LEAD TO KIDNEY FAILURE AND ON AND ON, OH HECK NO!
MODERATION, MODERATION, MODERATION, LOVE YA!
RC, good for you to get out! Will check in later if I can... Saranarah or Bon Voyage, or Hasta la Vista!
i also grew up with a family of 12, mom and dad had 6 girls and boys, i was number 10:)
be back soon...
PS thats what frightens me the most i am a survivor of some horrific things in my life and i know that in my heart, i really do poetic..but why this food issue, is huge,
but i know i will figure this out, now that some of the secret s have been put out into the universe...i will be able to deal with this pain with love and compassion also for myself as i did with my other past pains..
love and light
I just want you all to know how much I am enjoying the strength of this thread. To hear of people taking on this old painful stuff, meeting it head on and knowing that each beautiful one of us deserves better . And the recognition that vulnerability and strength go hand in hand. We can get it wrong for ourselves year after year and still turn it right around.
Anyway, thanks for sharing. It's inspirational.
And I love the Angelou poem. I love it. So thanks for that too.
Love to all those making good decisions about their health, love to all those who have recognised changes need to happen but haven't got there yet, love to all those feeling the pain.
Is spring particularly dynamic this year?
Yes it is! It's all beautiful Greenshoots and what a beautiful name! Found this today.
It is estimated that one in four girls and one in six boys will have experienced some form of sexual abuse by the age of eighteen. These exploitive behaviors range from exposure to more invasive forms of sexual assault. If you were sexually abused as a child, and have had difficulty releasing weight and keeping it off, you are not alone. Chances are your ongoing weight loss difficulties stem from your subconscious mind still wanting to protect that little girl, or that little boy, you once were.
I’ll call her Anna. She believes her weight gain started when she was in the fourth grade. That was the year she moved into her stepfather’s house and he began sexually abusing her. She remembers it was then because she loved the little purple flowers on the wall paper in her new bedroom. She methodically would count the purple petals hoping he would stop touching her by the time she reached one hundred. When I saw her in my office some thirty years later, she was depressed, overweight and didn’t realize her obesity had anything to do with being sexually abused. It was only when she realized her weight gain was her incredibly resourceful way of trying to protect herself that she understood. She then began to set herself free.”
On a subconscious level, gaining excess weight was the sexually abused child’s solution to the fear of unwanted sexual advances. Wearing layers of flannel pajamas to delay the inevitable transformed into layers of protective fat in adulthood. Compulsive overeating was the only way to self-soothe when no one was available for support.
Your attempts at losing weight may be fraught with repeated failures. Not because you lack willpower, but because on a deep level you are afraid. If this reflects your experience, here are three suggestions to help you release weight in a way that is emotionally safe and self-loving.
Before beginning any weight loss plan, it is important that your current home environment is safe and secure. If you are in a difficult or abusive relationship, or in a strained family situation, deal with this first. Create for yourself an atmosphere of love and support. Before you can release excess weight, your inner child, and the adult that you are today, needs to be safe.
Make sure you have at least one trusted friend or family member that you can talk to about the sexual abuse you experienced. Let them know that this may emerge for you as you begin to release weight. Give yourself the gift of professional help. It is not unusual to feel anxious as you lose weight because you are letting go of something that on a deep level has served to emotionally protect you. It may feel very scary. A skilled therapist can help support you through this process and help you to manage overwhelming feelings that may emerge.
Take your time. Have patience and realize that this process isn’t just about releasing weight. It’s about releasing your fears and your pain. The longer it takes to release weight the more you can trust that an inner shift is happening. You need that time to transform your thinking and your beliefs so you can develop an emotional readiness to release weight. And to feel safe. This reassures your inner child that the comfort and familiarity of excess weight will not be taken away from her before she is ready. Having patience will help you adjust to small, incremental weight loss shifts and the feelings that go along with that. Your developing inner strength then becomes the foundation that will help you release weight with confidence and self-love.
Do you know someone with a weight issue who was sexually abused? What helps them to feel safe as they release weight?
Diane Petrella, MSW is a psychotherapist and life coach. Earlier in her career she developed the first child sexual abuse treatment program in the State of Rhode Island. She offers her clients a spiritual approach to weight loss and helps them develop a loving, respectful relationship with their bodies. Receive a free copy of Diane’s Seven Easy & Effortless Weight Loss Secrets by signing up for her monthly e-newsletter, Living Lightly, for spiritual insights and tips to release weight with confidence and love. Well we all knew that, food is a cushion for other issues, some girls think that if they are ugly nobody will bother them, sad...
Wow Poetic, I think that description speaks volumes for almost all of us in our ways of course. The added weight is indeed a layer of protection from the outside world or from those near to us. Our own cocoon of sorts but unlike your butterflies more often we want to stay safely wrapped in those layers that keep us a distance from the outer world we live in. We need to learn in our own ways how to find the joy, release and beauty of tearing away at those shells that protect us in our minds but restrict us in our lives.
Right girl I'm ready to live again, really live, shed this weight and come out of the Cocoon.
LOVE THIS SONG! OLD SCHOOL.
Sly and the family Stone/Everyday People
Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept the green one
For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha - we got to live together
I am no better and neither are you
We are the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me you know me and then
You can't figure out the bag l'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a long hair that doesn't like the short hair
For bein' such a rich one that will not help the poor one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha-we got to live together
There is a yellow one that won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one that won't accept the white one
And different strokes for different folks
Did only one lap yesterday, tired the old bones said have a seat sister. Onward today, well see, staying on track as much as possible. Have Long John's for lunch, just a little bit and cereal for dinner.
You are staying on track and focused so that puts you ahead of me at this point. Take it one day at a time.