TheCaptain...help please...again?



  • TheCaptain, I know I have asked you for countless readings but they are very....insightful to me. A lot has been going on in my life.

    Well, first, I have decided that I wont be able to have a bestfriends. More and more everyday, people are starting to dissapoint me.

    My friend (September 11, 1996), doesn't feel like a bestfriend. I told her she is the closest thing I've had to a bestfriend but now I want to take it back. She is nothing like a best friend. I want to take it back but I don't want to seem mean.

    My other friend (January 11, 1997) is a fake friend. She constantly talks about her friends behind their backs. Why is this?

    Another friend (December 30, 1997) is one of those nagging friends. She is always talking about how ugly she looks or something along those lines but never does anything to fix it.

    Oh, and then there's me (February 23,1997). I am starting to change more and more each day.It seems that none of my friends have the same interest as me. I want to talk about more controversial issues and topic but no one seems to want to have in depth conversations.

    Oh, and how are you?



  • You are attracting dishonest people because you are not being honest with them yourself about how you feel. You are also expecting too much perfection when no one is perfect. You need to find more realistic expectations about people. Do you hold yourself to such impossibly high standards as you do to others?

    If you want to hold more in depth conversations, try hanging out at libraries or museums or art galleries or somewhere the deeper thinkers go. Or try putting a notice on the school notice board or an internet social forum about wanting to form a group to discuss world or local issues.



  • Well, I can't be honest to people I don't trust. I am generally honest to people. The only times I am not honest is when sparring others feelings. I guess I expect my friends to have the same morals and values as me. I don't hold myself to the high standards I expect because I don't want to dissapoint myself, if that makes sense.

    The library in my town isn't that good. I would have to travel about 30 minutes to find a good one. In Atlanta, our museums aren't really good one but I bet I could find people there. Hmmm...



  • When yopu spare other people's feelings, you might also be sparing them from knowing the truth which is not a good thing. You can be honest but still remain polite and kindly.



  • People say that but sometimes the truth hurts and no matter how bad someone says they want to be told the truth, sometimes it's not best to tell them. But, I only lie about little things.

    If someone asks "Am I ugly?" and I think they are unattractive, I will say "You are only beautiful if you think you are. The way you view yourself is how the world views you. Whatever form of energy you give out, is what you recieve." To me, that would be okay but other people think it's BS, which is.

    I guess it's not a lie.



  • Just wanted to thank you for helping me when I needed it. 🙂



  • Maybe you should ask yourself why you find some people to be ugly or unattractive, rather than feeling you have to lie about it. Are you judging them too much by their looks? I feel people are only made ugly by their personalities if they are mean, deceptive, greedy, nasty etc.



  • I mean, there is a difference between unattractive and ugly. I don't judge anyone soley on looks. But I have friends who ask "Am I pretty?". They mean it in a 'what you see on the outside' way. You have to admit, you think some people LOOK better than others. That's just life. There are people who one might think looks better physically than another.



  • ReeseyReese, your opinion is yours to express freely but you must bear in mind that your idea of what beauty/ugliness (or any other issue) is will not be the same as other people's, as we all have different viewpoints. Be aware that by telling someone you think they aren't pretty that they may take that to mean EVERYONE thinks they aren't pretty, when it is only your individual viewpoint.



  • Oh, yeah, I understand that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is a true statement. That's why I never tell anyone that I don't think they're pretty. I like to think that opinions aren't facts, that's why they are called opinions. I might think that someone is the most beautifulest person in the world and another person might think they are average (This acutally happened to me recently). That's another reason I don't like answering the question "Am I pretty?". So I NEVER tell anyone that I don't think they are attractive because it just means they aren't attactive to me but they might be very attractive to another person.