Reading about my pattern of abruptly ending friendships?
I was wondering if anyone would be willing to do a reading on me that focuses on friendship. To make a long story short I have never had a successful friendly relationship. I tend to reach out to others more, or I invite others out more than I am invited out and those I call friend seem to consistently forget me or bail on me during special occasions like my birthday. Because this pattern has happened so consistently to me, I've assumed it was karmic, and last year I systematically cut off friends in effort to 'send the universe the message that that energy was not the energy I want in my life.' This is not the first time I've undergone this process, and in fact, I do take small steps occasionally to wipe out the half-assed friendships, such as deleting numbers from my cellular phone that I haven't heard from in a while. Now that new friendships have had the time to begin, blossom, or fizzle out, I'm convinced I haven't escaped this problem, however I have no idea what the universe is trying to teach me.
These friendship make me feel lonely and unvalued. I want relationships that are real, with interested people in my life, but I really have no idea of how to go about it. Can anyone offer insight into my problem?
My birthdate is: 1:47 PM December 6th 1992
You have many many years ahead to build fulfilling relationships. We all experience friendships on different levels. Some may feel so strong it's as if they are soul mates and then there are the acquaintances and everything in between. We learn from all of them. Look in their mirror. We must learn to accept people as they are and create healthy boundaries when needed. Look to your expectations and allow the other people to be who they are for as divine a reason you are who you are. Accepting others w/o attachment is a healthy approach. I've found Lao tzu to be correct in philosophy that what we push pull will neither come nor go as we please( but it's opposite most likely) but creating a big enough space, heart space? physical space? for friends to walk in may be the answer, maybe building a friendship w/ oneself.
Thank you for the insight pfree. I'm aware that I'm quite young but I'm scared that if I continue this pattern I'll never have a true friendship. I'll try to work on my acceptance.