Cancerman276



  • Hi Cancerman276,

    First I wanted to thank you for taking the time to share your insights into Cancer Males. From time to time, I get to catch a post where you have greatly provided insight to those seeking it about cancers. I have been dating a Cancermale for four years. We have went through many of the phases you have spoken about including the one where there was a period of seperation a couple years back as I hurt his feelings. We became friends again and began dating again after that time period. Since my birthday this year, he has started getting me some really beautiful gifts of jewelry.

    I have often struggled in the past with our periods of inconsistent communication where I think the need for space to process things was needed but just not well communicated. I have found around the end of last year we were soul mates. Over time on this site, I have began to use my intuition much more consitently than in the past. I had not really had a spiritual connection with him until recently. I have been trying to let him in here and there about my spiritual path. One day, I had this urge to follow my intuition and send him an email unlike I had recently sent. I spoke from pure intuition, asking some pointed questions about an interest of his that seems to have some significance to some things I feel about the future, communicated the emotions I felt I was picking up from him that he has not verbally communicated yet with words but seems to be in his actions, and to let him know that I love him. I have never shot straight from intuition on the area of my love life before but felt the timing was right for some reason.

    The next day, I received a lot of info on the question I had asked about, we talked later that night only to find out our paths were more closely associated that I had thought but in different ways if that makes sense. We were able to get together over Valentines day of which he seemed excited to talk about his insights on his ideas that were path related, and suprised me with yet a third gift of jewelry since December. Even though he has not said the words I love you to date, I have a gut feeling he does but is not ready to say the words yet. When I told him I loved him, he asked me the most unusual question...was I sure...I indicated I did. As I have never been asked was I sure if I loved someone by that person before, I am hoping you might have some insight into this.

    Is he trying to feel more comfortable and certain of where he stands before opening up even further? I felt like over the weekend, our higher selfs met for the first time in some way. My relationship with him has caused growth and healing on my end that has went beyond my wildest dreams possible. Is the same starting to occur with him?

    GreyStar



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  • I am a Sagitarrius. I suspect both hurt from past girlfriends and also possibly family. He seems to be a rather private person with very few that he allows in his inner circle. I sense a sadness about him when he speaks of his youth. I speak of adventure and wild things I did with friends and he speaks mainly of disappointment with some of his extended family members and more of responsibility than fun times with friends. He was engaged once from what he tells me that his fiance came down with a terminal illness and passed away. I sense some kind of rejection has occurred to him in this area before that makes him more leary in this area.

    When we first dated, I got seriously ill and had several very severe asthma attacks that I was not so sure I would recover from..at times. It was the first time since my divorce I had decided to open up to the one thing I wanted the most..love and drop a all I had built around my heart for a long time. He stayed and was there for many other major things that happened during that time. At some point while we were dating, I met his mother. After a few times, I started to pick up on something health wise was going on but said nothing at first. My grandmother is a diabetic with Alzhiemers and we had to help her a lot and still do. When he first came began discovering things going on with his mom,s health, I tried to search things online and give him some advice. I felt I may have offered advice that at the time he was not ready for at that time. I think I became so focused on helping that I did not realize he needed his time to get away from it all. I discovered this as my own grandmother's health went down hill more and how taxing it has been on our entire family and my parents. My family tends to joke about things at times in order to release frustration from how things are going on. It helps keep us from geting to overwhelmed, and saddened by the somber reality of what is happening. I tried to do so with him and think I offended him with a comment I made in such a manner to try to lighten his heart some. It was never meant in the way it come off to him and how it was interpreted. We went months without talking or emailing. One day came and I felt that if you truly love something, let it go and if it was meant to be then it will come back. I broke it off with him after many unsuccessful attempts to reconcile things.

    Then, after doing much thinking on my part, I spent weeks writing him a carefully worded email that I eventually sent once I was satisified with how it sounded and apologized for my selfishness, offering advice when it was not sought and my thoughtless comment. I wanted so much to see him, I did not see how taxing the situation he was going through had upon him. I called a truce shortly after and offered friendship which over time lead to us reconnecting, and started dating again. Since that time, I can feel how he feels about me when he looks at me a certain way, his touch, his kiss.. There are differences in this that I have saw over the time we get together and since I am empathetic I tend to pick up on them as well as the changes in his moods which are many. These empathetic traits as well as finding out he was a soul mate are part of what lead me to these forums. I was picking up on my grandmother's intense emotions as she can not talk or write since her stroke as well as the emotions of my daighter, my parents and him.

    During our time apart, I spent much time healing from past wounds, and growing and cutting ties I felt were necessary to do at that time. I began cutting away things that should have been let go on my end for a long time. One thing at a time. I know that his mother is at the later stages of Alzheimers and he is assisting his father in caring for her. As I have a strong sense of family and have helped care for many family members in such a way, I have a strong sense of respect and admiration for what he is doing. Things over the past few months have really been progressing although I have struggled with the space thing on his end which is odd on my part as usually I am a person who ends up needing space myself at some point.

    On my birthday, I thought he had forgotten me as he did not call or email me to wish me happy birthday. A day or two later, we got together and he went to my daughters singing at church with my family and he gave me a diamond journey necklace. At Christmas, he yet suprised me again with a gift of earrings, and then on valentines day a bracelet. Each time we get together, I pick up on this tenderness developing again towards me except this time around more quickly and more intense in nature. After finding out he was a soul mate, I sought to understand what purpose was it that brought us together...just the healing or more. That day I sent the email, I told him what emotions I was picking up on him, how I felt and a lot more. It was like some kind of barrier that had somewhat separated us was removed. It was like higher self was talking to higher self on path related actions. I reassured him my intent was to keep that area of his emotions as not receptive as I could possible learn to do so that he did not feel the privacy of that area would be invaded. I also explained that I had been on the other side of that coin to where I could finish a person's sentences and etc and how truly annoying and counterproductive that kind of thing could be. My exhusband and I were a little too connected spiritually to the point it was counterproductive and almost telepathic to a degree.

    When we got together, we talked and talked about the more spiritual related topics and brought more insight to things I was seeing but in a different way. As an empath, it is hard to differentiate in the area of love between emotions and intuition. I keep getting a feeling that things that things are turning more serious even before the gifts for some reason and that I won't see the lead up to the event I typically see coming. I don't want to end up hurting his feelings when I get caught up in the shellshock of what I think may be around the corner and trying to figure out the practicalities of it. I have decided to release my attachment to what may be the outcome of the relationship and only seek insight to the things that are currently occuring. Hence, I am trying to understand why he asked if I was sure if I loved him. I have loved him for a long time but once we got back together I did not tell him that right off as I wanted things to take their own pace and allow us both to become more comfortable with our feelings.

    He has brought me to feeling in ways I never imagined possible in many areas farther than I've ever been before or known. Any insight you might have would be greatly appreciated.

    GreyStar



  • Sorry about the length..I tend to be somewhat wordy at times. Especially in areas of the heart.



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  • Thank you so much for your insight Cancerman276. It does make sense that he may be guarding his heart for fear of losing another one. That thought has passed through my mind before. Is there something I can do to make this process easier for him or must it just run its course? That must be an intense healing process to overcome that kind of fear.

    We get along more than we argue. We are very different in many ways, but I think we are beginning to appreciate these differences more. I think your insight may have hit home on why he asked that question. I try to seek to understand to him more as I know each of us have our own internal thiings that we undergo in a relationship. Thank you sooo much for your help!

    Blessings to you. I do hope you find the answers you seek about the Acquarius you knew.

    GreyStar



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  • Honestly, I used to have this fear of being vunerable in that area some due to a past hurt that caused me while we were apart to undergo some major healing which I recently totally found closure on and opened myself up totally. I felt like what little had been left of that left when I opened myself intuitively to him the other day. I have loved him deeply for a while it just took me a while to truly feel comfortable showing it in the way I am now. When i first told him when I lived in Georgia for the first time...my voice shook allowing myself to say it even though I had felt it in my heart for a while. I was deeply afraid of allowing myself to be too vunerable in most areas for fear of being hurt even though closeness was the thing I sought the most. I realized I was hindering what I truly wanted the most. To be loved unconditionally for who I am...all the diverse parts of me and for him to understand who I once was and how I became who I am...if that makes any sense. I would say that fear I had ran as deeply as his fear of losing the one he loved.

    I realized I already loved him during the time we were apart and did much healing. Our tenderness was more notible in both of our body languages even before it has really started to come forth with a more openness and sharing. I have always tried to show this love with actions even if I stumbled on the words when I lived in Georgia. I sense this melting within him when we are together. I have melted when I look in his eyes for much longer than might have been apparent to him...I have been opening up parts of myself to him over time and allowing myself to be more vunerable. I feel like I have made more headway in this area this time around and feel way more comfortable with expressing how I feel about him verbally as well.

    I am much like him to a degree I may seem more unattached on the exterior than I really tend to be. Something I picked up as a teen when I was hurt really bad. It almost sounds like maybe part of my fears might have contributed to slowness of this opening up process for us both. I was always worried he would leave it I communicated too much too soon, but he never did. An unfounded fear on my part. I have loved him for a long time. I tended to open up more in other areas more before opening my heart as well. Do you think this might have contributed to his skittishness initially?

    GreyStar



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  • Cancerman276,

    Thank you sooo much for your insight. I think that time has come to talk about these things more with him.

    GreyStar


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