Needing advice, please!
Hi all. I'm in need of a little advice concerning a capricorn guy friend of mine. Lately we have not been hitting it off very well. I have trust issues which i am trying to work on. He knows i do not fully trust him, and this greatly frustrates and angers him. In the past i've caught him in a couple lies, which has made it even more difficult to place my trust in him.
Because of this i find myself constantly wondering if he's telling me the truth about anything that comes out of his mouth. He wants me to believe in him, but he hasn't given me a reason to do so. He says he's not gonna last much longer with me, that i am pushing him away. He has become very distant, hardly initiating conversations or responding to anything i say.
So, when he doesn't respond to me i become distant as well. Then he says i'm playing games. So i then try to pick up communications again, when i do this he then tells me to "shut up, he's busy". I feel like he's playing a push/pull game with me, and i'm beginning to lose my patience as well.
When i try to speak seriously with him about our problems he becomes defensive and angry. And the conversation usually ends with him speaking his mind, and saying some pretty hurtful things. When i try to speak my side he simply tells me to go away. I've learned to not try and discuss things with him. I care about this guy and i care about our friendship and would hate to see it end because of issues i feel can be worked out.
How can i stop this cappie from pulling away? How do i bring him closer again? He says he cares for me as well, so why the distance? This cappie is the most stubborn one i've ever encountered, lol. I don't know what he wants from me, it seems everything i do is never right. He is so critical of me. And talk about an ego... he has a huge one. There's no talking to this man. What do i do?
Thanks in advance!
Do you really want to pull him back in when he has been treating you like this?
Well , prior to me catching him in his lies he was the sweetest kindest person i had ever met. After those incidents though he became different. I don't know if he feels bad and can't say it, or what. But then again, i guess if our friendship meant anything to him he would make the extra effort and take the time to talk things out. Dunno. Just hoping there's a way to work things out and maybe things could go back to normal between us.
Anyone who can lie to you whether friendships or something more intimate, is not really a friend and most men act this way when caught out in a lie or two especially if the lie was serious and harmful in some way. He was probably ok in the beginning just as we all are and only start to show our true colours after a while anyway. He knows you have feelings for him and that you will accept this bad behaviour from him, thats why he acts this way as if it was your fault he lied. He knows you are likely to catch him out again and he doesn't want that or at least, he doesn't want the confrontation, so he is acting aloof one minute but keeping you close the next. Al I can say is that if he did really want the same as you, then he would be there promising not to lie again and showing his love for you. If it has become a fight between you to keep things on track then I would walk away with dignity and leave him to mature on his own. He probably has a track record for this sort of thing and may even enjoy the drama more than the relationship whoever he is with x