I need help, a message.
Excuse me if I seem melodramatic in nature. I am only expressing what I honestly feel at the moment. If you even took the time to read this I thank you. I need energy I need strength. But what I really need is someone who is much more open to the physic channels, someone who is not blocked by pain and emotion to give me a clear signal.
I have lost my connection to myself. I feel so disconnected to my Goddess. For years now I have had a weight problem and I have worked to make large gains. But still my weight, my figure is still an issue. I have so much that lies behind that lies inside. And I’m honestly afraid, scared, terrified beyond the point of tears that I’ll have to seek help outside me. Surgery, medicine? Why can I not form my own body? Why can I not mold it into what I want without technology or human medicine?
I’m so angry, so sad, so scared. All hidden behind a mask as I help the people around me. I would like to think of myself is far from selfish but this eats me inside. I have so many shining bright dreams that I know I can achieve. And I feel so weighted down, pun intended by what I view as my curse.
I have lost over 20 sizes off my waist and who knows how many pounds. And still I’m here! STILL I’M IN THE SAME BOAT. Still can’t look at my body without knowing how much is left to loose.
I do not want to be told to change my perception. I understand my abilities and my potential. I know what I can do and it hides so deep inside me. I’m being honest to myself, at least in the best since I can be since my emotions cloud much of my judgment.
I have hidden this pain for years.My silent shame. And it has built up, grown and fed. I have worked, struggled to get my body to a more healthy state. And still my body and my soul do not connect. I am not what I know myself to be.
I have not one single question to answer. I need someone to feel me, to tell me what is to be? What should I do? Anything and everything that I can read that will help me. My energies and mind are open I do not block anyone who wishes to aid me. To those who can feel my pain, my frustration, my lack of understanding lend me strength and wisdom.
I would like to think of myself wise, but I find myself with many holes and many flaws that eat from the inside out.
Again, thank you. I cannot express my gratitude. Bless you all with my endless love.
I also attached photos of my hands if anyone can read palms if that can help. Thank you.
Since that did not work here they are, links...
HI there, I cannot offer you much insight in to yourself but you have already made a huge step by posting about your problem and there are loads of people here to offer you support so well done!
bumping it up to the top for you, come on guys this is a really loud cry for help
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AS, there is a place where you can feel safe to pour out your heart and not be judged. I feel your issues go a long way back, to your childhood. Please come and join those of us who are working through our issues -
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Thank you everyone I really appreciate it. Though my words of gratitude are few they carry much with them.