Help with Cancer Male

  • Hi

    I have been seeing a cancer male for four months - it became very intense very quickly. We get on really well and there was a real connection between us (im scorp). He does give out very mixed messages and at times i dont feel secure in the relationship. Recently he suggested living together and then out of the blue tells me he isnt in love with me?? I am not in love with him I think its too soon but i do think if it had continued i would definately have grown to love him. I think he is playing games all the time for a reaction - i am just not sure what to do? any advise welcome

  • bindy1973,

    If you don't want to be drained emotionally, RUN NOW before you really get in deep!

    If you have to start guessing whether its game/real, it will really take a toll on you.

    I have read so much on these men and have friends who dated and married a Cancer man and it is a challenging relatonship to be in.

    After 2 years of finally getting to know and date one, he disappeared out of the blue, its been 6 months since, and no word, but I know he did me a big favor, it hurts because I know we could have had something good, as I mentioned in other posts, the push/pull, the moods, constant confusion, it wasn't a relationship that was going to be healthy.

    My friend is married to a cancer man for 30 yrs and she struggles everyday, but won't leave the marriage for security reasons, this is the longest I have heard of a relationship lasting, but definately isnt an easy one.

    Go with your gut, yours could be a good guy, you just don't see many success stories with cancer men, its a matter of how long it will last, thats also with all relationships I guess.

    Good luck, I really hope everything works out for you.

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  • Hi Cancerman276,

    Don't be so hard on yourself, I think you "guys" are wonderful!!! I think most women enjoy a man that is in touch with his 'emotional' self; and Cancer men definitely steal the show in this regard!! The 'star appeal' that you "guys" demonstrative with the women does boggle my mind however with why you are said to be as insecure as spoken of. My Cancer male is the best love I have ever known; challenging in some ways yes, but then I am a patient person and it does take a good degree of patience and gentleness in dealing with Cancer men; but then I too need those same qualities myself. As far as the indecisiveness is concerned, heck, we can all be indecisive from time to time so it's not catastrophe if you struggle with this from time to time; just be conscious of it and work on it, as you'd said. As far as I'm concerned, no one understands the emotional heart and needs of a woman and can fulfill them quite the way a Cancer Man can!!! From THAT perspective you are a man's man.

    We all have some level of insecurity so we identify them, accept them for what they are and work to improve the disadvantage that they may be causing us as individuals or in our relationships and move on. All in All, I think Cancer Men are a WONDERFUL "breed"! 🙂

    Be blessed!

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  • Hey Cancerman276,

    I like that you express who you are at the begining of a relationship, to me that is very important. I also like that you don't play mind games or play with emotions, right there I can tell you are a decent man.

    The guy I dated was not good at communicating, he did go through a very bitter divorce, so that did not help our situation.

    I was very patient with him and very good to him, there were never any arguments.

    I am not perfect, but I do know that I treat people the way I would like them to treat me.

    He told me that I was very easy going and that is who I am. I love to laugh (he rarely did), I wanted to give things time and get to know him, because I could see deep down he is a good man, he just would not let me in. The one thing that I am grateful, even though emotionally I was in, I think it would have been much worse for me if we had been together longer, then it would have been harder to let go. One other thing, his work/money were #1.

    I still carry some hurt from the way he disappeared, but I don't hold grudges, I hope he finds what he is looking for and I want him to be happy.

    Communication and honesty is huge in a relationship.

    I do wish you the BEST of luck, and I hope you find a great woman.

    You are a good cancer man, I know there are more out there....somewhere:)

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  • Cancerman276,

    The guy I dated left his wife after 25yrs of marriage. His ex told me he left her for another woman, (which he denied this to me), he told me he was forced to marry his wife because she got pregnant at an early age. He was divorced 2 yrs when we dated. See, I don't understand why he is wounded if he left his wife (who by the way is a cancer too).

    I really like how you are being very honest with yourself in not rushing out to date anyone. A break up is so hard. It is so important to give yourself time to heal. How long were you with your Taurus lady? Is there any chance you may get back together? Did you leave her?

    Only answer if you want to.

    I did find out a month ago, but not sure (because of the source), that the guy I dated has a girlfriend now. He travels for work and this girl lives where he works. (he took his daughters to meet her, so it could be serious). I kind of wonder if he was seeing both of us at the same time since the other woman lives in another state. These are exactly the situations i want to avoid, all the guessing/ wondering, relationships should never be like this.

    I was married to an Aries for 21 yrs, was a very loyal and faithful wife, my ex left me for another woman. Speaking of insecurities, mine set in especially after the cancer man left me, because I started to wonder what am i doing wrong for these men to walk away from me?

    Can you please give me your honest opinion, why do you think the cancer guy just disappeared on me. He took me on a cruise and to meet a couple of his family members, we had 3 nice months, (he would call and text me everyday), and then he was gone. If you did this, are you gone for good? (its been 6 months). I don't expect him back and I am not waiting around for him.

    I am not ready to date again, but hope there is someone out there for me when I am ready. I am trying to regain the TRUST issue. (this is hard work).

    My sister who is a Taurus is dating a Aquarius guy and I have to say he is very weird. He is very independent, not the settling down type, not easy to commit. (in fact he hates commitment) With this situation, this guy is so wrong for my sister, she deserves so much better.

    I hope I didn't ramble on too much here. I appreciate your replies.

    I am sorry you've gone through a break up, hang in there.

  • Hi Cancerman276,

    You are very welcome, I meant every word that I said about Cancer!! No I do not mind you asking my sign. I am a Scorpio w/ a Leo Moon and Capricorn Rising : )

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  • Bindy1973,

    I want to apologize too! Hope things are working out for you.


    Thank you for your honesty, I definately feel you are right on target what you said about the guy I was dating. My ideal of who I thought he was, he really was not that person. Outta appearances can be decieving! I don't believe it was lust at first, because I did feel something was there, but as time passed I can now see that was the direction he was heading in because of the way he dissapeared. He admitted to me he is very insecure and emotional, which i did not have a problem with that, I thought that was good of him to be up front about that, at the same time he probably used that as an excuse. Yes, you are right, travelling man, notorious for affairs, these are things I thought about after the fact. All I know now, my experience with him was a bad one, I have read the same thing over like all us women were dating the same guy!!

    Now for you, So your relationship started of lustful? Yet, you got hooked on her because she pursued you. So the lust turned into something more. Are you sure you really love this woman? I am just asking, sorry to be blunt with you!

    You mentioned your ex is a little weird, why do you say that?

    You also said your intuition is good, you need to listen to that. That is your guide!

    I don't want to give you false hope, but I think your ex may come back. The fact she is staying in contact even by texts, I don't think she is ready to let go of you completely. My sister (Taurus) went back to her ex, also another Taurus friend of mine (recently) did the same thing with her ex. Taurus women need security and comfort, she won't get that with the Aqua guy she is with. Also stability is very important for them. They truly need to feel appreciated in their involvements with others. They are patient, but very stubborn. Affection goes a long way too, they love that. I do know this from the Taurus people I have in my life. I actually have good friendships with this sign. They have a good heart too, sometimes they can be too soft and need a back bone!

    Maybe when you are ready, check in on her again and tell her how you feel. I would want to know where i stand, because to wait around for someone may turn into a waste of time and energy if they have no desire to return. (emotionally draining).

    Its all up to you to make a decision, letting go completely is a hard thing to do, but if it needs to be done, the heart heals in time. If she decides she wants to be with you......need I say more, you will have your answer.

    Just not knowing is the hard part, thats why go and get your answers when you are ready.

    I do mean it when I say you are a decent guy and you really deserve someone who is worthy of you.

    Remember...honesty and communication......Be good to you!

    Thanks again for your words

    Btw, the guy I dated works for a huge firm in Toledo Ohio, you mentioned you live in Cleveland!

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  • Happy to hear you are being honest with how much you love her, she is a very lucky lady to have a "special" cancerian man in love with her............

    Good for you sticking around, go with the gut feeling. Sometimes we really have to take that risk, I am kinda excited for you.

    Aquarius men are so tight with their money, rather very cheap and can be frugal.

    Even if this guy buys her flowers, I would not worry about it. (Its all about the heart, not the material stuff).

    Keep me posted how things go with you and your special lady, and anytime you need to vent, I will help you any way I can. (we may have to start a new

    Thank you for the compliment, hopefully a man with a good heart will enter my life. I know when the time is right it will happen.

    Everything will work out the way it is suppose to.........Stay positive:)

  • Just read your other post, and yes aquarian's do disappear, but they do reappear in time. How much time I am not sure, it depends on the individual.

    This is also the reason I asked if cancerian men do return eventually, because there are stories where they return but leave again, kinda confusing. For me personally, I know he won't, return, but if the cancerian guy I dated came back after all this time, the door is closed, I would not allow him to enter my life again, but thats just me.

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  • You got it right! Good for you.

    Insecurities may come in every now and again, but you will get through them,

    I believe your a lot stronger than you think, just by what you have said here.

    You have been a great help to me too.

    Take care

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  • I just wanted to give my quick opinion on cancer men. I am a Taurus, and I have been talking now (bc he moved) to a cancer guy about 2 years. It has been a really rocky road. No real relationship has ever been but the lust, the possessiveness, jealousy, obsession, with me from him has been very real. I have had it out with him so many times and swore every time that he would never talk to me again, wrong every time...he always would say that he was not mad. uugghhh!!! not that I like to argue, but sometimes the point was for him to leave me alone, and sometimes I told him to leave me alone. Every time even now that I try to just end whatever this is, bc he drives me insane, he comes back. now that he has moved, he will text. He did the disappearing thing on me a couple times, I lost my cool about it after the 2nd time, and he did not do it again. which I was surprised bc that is a natural thing for them, to run and hide from the chaios they cause. I do care about him, and want him to find happiness, but he has to allow himself to be happy, and I know that he is very insecure, even though you would never think so! I never imagined anything I have been through with this guy would have ever happened, he is not who he appears to be. I honestly dont know what he wants. I do think he has wanted a much more deeper relationship with me, and it just hasnt been in the cards for several reasons. I know that he feels something for me bc he wont let go...and even though when a cancer is done, they are DONE!, no matter what I do...he is there. really what I want is to be friends, to get to know the real him, that I feel he has tried to show me, and its weird bc he has been opening up to me more now that he has moved...but Im not putting my life on hold to deal with his issues. The next time he texts me though I do have a plan to make him open up to me. Its just the way its gotta be. Personally, I dont think I will get involved with another cancer, they all to seem to have emotional problems, larger than everyone else's.

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