Which way to go?

  • Hi there,

    I have been seeing an Aquarian man for 7 months, he truly had the "gift of the gab" but today after months of thinking and almost dreaming (as Pisces do) that this was actually going somewhere it ended, It swirled into something convenient for him and i grew to love him, of course he has no feelings for me, i see that now. I made a decision this week to not respond if he were to want to meet, and no, nothing nice like cinema or a meal; that rarely happened. If ever. So much to my disappointment and also annoyance, he text me this today; "Hello you! Hope you are well?! Sorry i have not been in contact we can't see each other again as i'm seeing someone just thought u should know but we can remain friends and i'm here if you ever want a chat" x

    So i sobbed into my pillow as this niggling feeling things were coming to an end truly set in as reality. I knew in my heart he was playing me for a fool, i just didn't want to believe it. He sent us a picture of us together just a week ago, such a romantic gorgeous photo calking me "baby". Only to send me this message just today. I feel such a fool. Am I right in not replying? I wish i could make him care for me, but I know I can't. I knew he was a ladie's man when i met him, people warned me of this but i wanted to see if i could be the one to change him, he said i was good for him. He said i brought out the best in him, once he wanted to even live together. He told me a few months into our relationship that an ex girl he was never actually WITH (probably just a girl he used like me) was in fact, 5 months pregnant. I said i would be there for him no matter what, Yet he doesn't want me, he wants be a player (this girl i THINK he is seeing now he met 4 days ago, she is 17) even though there is a very big possibility he could be the father to this unborn child in 2months time i didn't care as I loved him, and when you love someone you want them and want to help and be there for them no matter what.

    I saw a psychic two weeks ago, who read tarot and said she saw success with our relationship.

    This confuses me, I can only think that somewhere along the line something changed and this girl came into the equation. He is 22, same as me and I think maybe he is too immature to realize how much better his life would be with me? we did have a great bond and connection I used to daydream of us going on holidays together. I never made any demands on him, I never confessed my love to him, i played it cool I let him have his freedom, he knew i didn't want anyone else, so deep down he must have known i care deeply for him, but he has caused me so much pain as he misled me and fed me lies. Yes call me a gullible fool, but love is blind. I am happy to be single i'm a happy person but I don't know how i can trust anyone again, and give them all of myself.

    Does anyone have any advice or anything to help me understand this situation? Would be very grateful please.....



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  • Sorry Kez and Cancerman,--- I hear you both. I was married to an Aquarius for 18 yr, we were together or 20. Kez, I hope this helps. I met him on a blind date and all my senses were telling me to move on, but I let him woo me and fell for his charming personality. It wasn't long before I realized that he wasn't ever going to put me first. It took many many years of crying and asking myself what can i do to make him love me more or what can I change about myself to get him to notice me?

    One day it occured to me that he and I were never going to have that deep emotional connection I really wanted. I decided at that point to live my life for myself and the kids all the while letting him just emotional spin me in circles.

    What I am saying is they are aloof and intimacy is purely for the physical, not saying all are like that, but they need lots of space and it isnt easy if you are someone who wants that connection. I also was told by a psychic that our marriage would last for ever... hmmm.

    Cancerman has is in a nutshell !!!! Good luck

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  • Dearest Kez3,

    Deep down, you knew this man had questionable ethics and yet you ignored this and then allowed him to treat you as if you do not have any value (no “dates”, just physical encounters?). It is time to look at the bigger picture and be honest with yourself…has this been a pattern for you in relationships? You need to identify these behavior patterns before you can break them. This may not be easy, but it is necessary for growth to begin. You need to become more independent – balance your feminine energy with more of the masculine. I feel like there may be old conflicts you need to clear up from your childhood. These issues need to be settled and put into perspective so you can break the resulting self-limiting patterns and beliefs you have about yourself and freely move ahead in your life. In short, NO, do not call, text or contact this man in any way! This is not a time for new relationship for you, either. You need to take some time to work on yourself – these inner child issues – so you can truly embrace your value and practice better discernment when it comes to your romantic choices. Remember that we attract all the relationships we have in our lives based on our own energy – this man simply served to hold a mirror up to you so you can see how you feel about yourself. You can do this…be brave!



  • Cancerman276 Thank you SO much. You have made me feel A lot better and I totally agree with what you say. The answer to your question is, NO he did not do any of those things. He was a lustful seductive charmer who was elusive and thats what STUPIDLY drew me in, he manipulated me and I should have known better.

    Your words have comforted me! And I'm sorry you have experienced heartbreak; Us water signs feel things so deeply I won't deny I have felt suicidal in the past about a previous relationship with a Virgo man. I empathize.

    Cancergirlfromtheheart. I commend you tremendously for being so tolerant for so long and making the decision to live for yourself and your kids.I Hope you and your family are happy 🙂 You must be one tough cookie, and my situation is trivial compared to yours but I can relate to knowing the behaviour of aqua male and I empathize with you. I guess we shouldn't take it personally its just in their nature.

    Water girl thank you for your advice too!

    And its true I do have a pattern of going with guys who turn around to me and say they don't want a relationship anymore which makes me feel its me but i cannot identify what it is they don't like about me, but I think i chose men that were hard to get and i don't know why.

    I never had a great relationship with my father, He once told me he wished i was never born and that he meant it and this has stayed with me for a while.

    I am going to focus on my career now in Reiki course and just hope I meet someone who wants someone like me and share something loving and mutual and respectful in the future and peace and love to you all too


    I am fortunate I am a spiritual person who is lucky to have kind people give me advice, and I am grateful you took the time to read about my life. I know worse things have happened to people and I am in no way feeling sorry for myself I just wanted an unbiased perspective from someone who doesn't know me.

    I guess these things MAY happen for a reason but we grow stronger as a result. May we be continue to be wiser 🙂

    Please forgive my spelling, I'm English.

  • Kez3,

    I got that it was a father issue, but then doubted myself so I just said "childhood" issue! You are re-creating your relationship with your father with your romantic relationships - choosing men who reject you and then thinking that it is because something is wrong with YOU. There is nothing wrong with you! Don't just focus on Reiki - focus on this issue so you can work through it and RELEASE IT! Just be self-aware as you go through your days....where else does this daddy issue show up in your life with your behavior patterns and thought patterns? Self love must come first - then you will find love with another.



  • the issue isnt really an issue it used to be and i can see what you mean but it doesnt affect my life in any way I don't hate him, its just life and my friends dad's are all bad too see we have that in common! lol Take care thanks for advice xx

  • but it is still an issue if you continue to re-create the scenario with your choices men....

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  • Kez, I agree with Watergirl on that one.... my father ignored me and made me feel invisible, guess what I married. I can't say that I will be able to recognize the pattern right away in future relationships, but I am sooooo much more aware. Don't ever feel your less important or in need of advice, we all go through things and it is relative to ourselves...sometimes we just need to bounce things off of others to get us moving in the right direction.

    Cancerman... it is hard for us to let go because we feel things so deep and are sentimental, I mad e a deal with myself to visit past issues and memories as reflection, but you can't stay there too long because then you can't move forward( or sidways, lol). Aquarians, at least mine as well, would never open up and take responsibility for anything on an emotional level, it was never his problem always mine, so yes, I hear you.

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