Double Cancerian!!! Is it real or am I lost in illusion?
Hi, please help me to figure out what it is about this man. Arrrhgggh I feel like I am obsessed. I try to let him go, and try every single day not to divert my attention to him (that doesn't work). We met 11 years ago and the chemistry between us was out of this world. On the day we met it was a very surreal occasion, I don't want to describe it through fear of sounding like a crazy fool lol. I have never felt a connection to anybody like this before. There was an instant attraction and I couldn';t stop staring into his eyes, I have never been able to connect with anyone like this. We went our seperate ways through ego choices, of I'm not good enough, the feelings csn't be mutual, I'm obsessed, this is lust, that type of thing, and we live on opposite ends of the country. Years later whilst going through a long and hard seperation, I met him again, and to my surprise he was in the same situation, living seperate lives with current partners who pushed us both away. Both of us being cancerians, security and ideals are utmost on my fear list and probably his too. I had an ideal that the man I had children with would be the one, coming from a family of more than 1 father. This wasn't to be so, it all fell apart, the home, the relationship, my health, my mind. I lost my sunshine!! I am still going through sepaeration, it has been long and gruelling (finances and security again lol), yet I can't get this man out of my mind and it is confusing me. What is this between us. He told me that when we first met the feelings were mutual, but like me, I guess he was full of self doubt, he thinks I am too beautiful for him!! I feel the same way too!!. We met last year, and the feelings were even stronger than before but now he has pushed me away again exactly the same as he did the first time. I told him how I felt about him, and I hurt him too because I wasn't clear in what I wanted to convey. I have learnt that my ideals were full of holes. And I have started to move in a more positive direction. Being in a one sided relationship and not being able to express my love absolutely broke my heart and sent me into the deepest depression I have ever gone through. My ex a Virgo who I was with from the age of 16, we broke up for 2 yearsand then got back together, and this is when I met the Cancerian man. I got back with the Virgo man I guess we had unfinished business. I learnt that I am not responsible for anothers happiness, I could not hurt myself any longer, and I deserved to be in a relationship of equal giving and receiving. It truly has been the dark night of my soul!! I am learning to love myself again after years of emotional and mental abuse. I know what I want and what I don't want, and know that I deserve the best and have learnt not to settle for anything less than I deserve. I guess I have learnt through the trials of my life that I am a truly loving person, and during my childhood I lacked the love that I needed and I guess that I continued to look for the same level of love in my realtionships bcos that was what I was used to receiving (tough love, no affection, no passion, no giving, my mum is a Virgo too) I see that they are hurting inside too, and cannot reach out. But I couldn't wait any longer. My DOB is 2nd July 1977, his is 3rd july 1969. How does he feel, I know he is still hurting and going through his separation still too and I feel for him, but do I need to gracefully let go? xxx
This relationship displays a remarkable determination to get to the bottom of things - to know, to probe, to udnerstand. Psychology or social science will probably captivate both of you, rather than, say, general science or math - people and their personalities exert the greatest attraction here. But perhaps the most difficult and fascinating of all to explore will be your own relationship, since its own mysteries are every bit as interesting to you as those of others.
You as an empath should understand your unconventional partner better than most. Instead of deterring you, his secretiveness interests you, and indeed this interest may have provided the route by which your love affair or friendship initially began. If you share a home, your twin reclusive natures will ensure it will be a very private place in which few will gain admittance. You will spend many hours there trying to fathom the deepest levels of your relationship. Whether sharing feelings and thoughts, making love or expressing affection, busying yoursleves quietly with different activities or simply sharing a bond of silence, you two will constantly enrich your udnerstanding of each other and of the relationship itself. You will likely explore many life mysteries together and this deep connection can last long into your mature years. Just make sure you show some interest in the natural world as well - this planet is not entirely made up only of people. And don't become too narcissistic.
Sorrell, you must try to avoid getting tripped up by your emotions and learn to focus your energies away from the personal and toward the universal. You expect quite a lot from your partners, given that you tend to sacrifice so much for them, and you tend to want what you want when you want it. As you grow away from emotional dependency and a need for others, you will discover in yourself a wealth of personal and executive strengths. You may indeed have 'greatness thrust upon you', as the saying goes. But you must learn to balance your need for a public identity and to be somebody on your own, apart from your family, with the need to build successful, intimate relationships that are not dependent or clingy but strong and autonomous. If you can avoid isolation and a tendency to nurse old hurts and beat dead horses, you will shine on this life journey.
Your friend has a need for control in his life that must be released and he must also overcome negativity to develop a more positive outlook. He possess a rare creative and imaginative talent, able to generate unique concepts, fantasies and ideas and to manifest them in practical ways. But he can become lost in the landscape of his imagination or become overly emotionally armoured, disillusioned or isolated if things don't go his way. Becoming overwrought or obsessed is always a real risk since it's often hard for him to control his darker desires and fantasies. making a correct choice of partner will be highly difficult for him, being so easily caught up in fantasy and idealistic expectations as he is. Too often he will pick a mate who is too strong for him, and find himself unable to meet their demands or else end up with someone who is very weak whom he can never satisfy and who drains his energy and holds him back. He may respond to these failed relationships by withdrawing to be alone in solitude. He may throw himself instead into finding satisfaction through his work or some group cause and never again get so deeply involved with another person.
To sum up, you and he can indeed have a good life together but you must not be the clingy needy type of partner that will chase him away forever. instead of looking to him to satisfy all your love needs, love yourself more and when you are with him, explore interesting activities and mysteries rather than focusing on your relationship too much. Have fun together - your friend already has enough emotion and drama coming from his current situation - you need to provide him with the break from it he needs, not lay on any more. So in other words, he will love you if you are nothing like the emotional trainwrecks he has been involved in, in the past.
Wow thankyou Captain Lots of food for thought!! and also very humbling. My bottom lip has been out most of the day lol I have been doing alot of self examination and you helped to bring home some very important insights into myself that I was not able to conceive. PATIENCE and learning to connect more with my outer world. I have been a hermit for the past 6 years and ended up completely going within my cancer shell. I can see where I am holding myself back more clearly now. Growing up I lost my inner self confidence and love, it was slowly ebbed away with others judgements. I guess I was looking for love and support outside myself, and become accustomed to the fact that not everyone else could give and receive. I think I was in love with the idea of love, and I didn't truly understand its true meaning of compassion, devotion, loyalty and giving without the need for it to be reciprocated. I hope I csn learn from my mistakes and not make the same relationship mistakes. For now I am happy and content being single and I am on a new path of self discovery, daring to be bold and do all the things that are in my heart, getting out there into the big wide world. Thankyou for giving me a nudge with my gifts, I have always been told that I am too sensitive, and I often hid myself away bcos I didn't want to be bombarded with others feelings and thoughts. I used to think it was me, that I was horrible for having negative thoughts and feelings, and the anger that I could feel of people was unbearable, no wonder I used to run for my shell lol. I am slowly learning to trust myself more and be more self forgiving and loving, and i am slowly accepting my given gifts to help other people. I have learnt alot from my last relationship and sometimes mistakes are golden. How could I understand others pain if I had not experienced it myself. I was lost in despair as to why my relationship was being taken away from me. It wasn't, we had both learnt our lessons and healed our soul mate relationship. It was my own fault lol, I asked the universe for true love and then my friend turned up and in come confussion!!. I did a Composite chart, I don't know his time of birth but when ever I do tarot readings he always comes up as either the King of Cups or the King of Wands (quite funny, he actually has an emblem of his company on his shoulder, as depicted in the King of Wands card). I cannot work out if he is Aries or Sagittarius rising, and when I did the composite/synastry chart it almost makes a Grand Sextile (A star, two overlapped triangles) This is why I requested your help, so thankyou for your insights, I need to slow down and heal those things in myself first that I am lacking and give him space to heal too and be there for him as a friend.
Thankyou for your insights and wisdom, I am eternally grateful for your help and kindness xxx
As an empath, it's helpful to know you can be around other people and sense what they feel, but not be affected by it because you understand that it is not directed at you personally. It's just their 'stuff' . Thus you can be objective and even helpful to others.