Hi...can someone help me to decide what to do....

  • This is a little bit minor....and with things valentines day coming up....not sure how to handle this. There is someone who I have been out of touch for a while....not sure should I blow caution to the wind and sent a valentines message? Or would this make me look silly and lose face. self respect and all that.

    can anyone help me to understand the influences that were/are present in the relationship with this individual would be really great. I did kind of ask grey star but her thread vanished.

    thanks if anyone takes me up on this x o x

  • I don't feel a Valentine's card - which implies great love - is appropriate for someone you have lost touch with. Maybe just send a "Thinking of you" card on any other date.

  • You must understand that your feelings are from the past and are no indication of how you would feel if you met this person face-to-face today. It's not helpful to go by your old vibes and out-of-date feelings when circumstances and attitudes could be very different now for you both.

  • Yes, perhaps you're right, it has been about six weeks or so. Was toying with the idea, like thinking of you this valentines days, hmmm perhaps. Not really sure how to treat this. Don't want this person to feel I've totally written them off.

    But cap, yes you are right, it has been a while, if there was a great link between us we would still be in touch. Would make me look silly like a pest.

    Generally speaking I don't really like revisiting the past. Perhaps not good to invite old ghosts back to the present. My friends would say the same.

    Thanks x

  • Also, Valentine's Day cards can put a lot of pressure on the recipient to respond in kind (they are obviously sent to prompt a response) and this might make the person feel very uncomfortable indeed if they don't feel the same way.

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