Cancer Woman is so confusing



  • I have this cancer woman friend that I work with and when I got to work I said hello cause if I didn't she would really be mad at me (like 2 days ago when I had a lot on my mind and forgot to say hello) and so she said hi but said it in a way that made me feel that she didn't feel like talking. I went and sat down at my desk and as other people was getting to work and saying hello to her she acted all happy to see them and talk to them. I was just sitting at my desk doing my work then a couple of hours later she gets my attention and act all mad that I wasn't interacting with her and ignoring her. I wasn't ignoring her and she was talking with everyone else so I didn't want to interrupt and be rude. So I told her that she seemed like she didn't want to talk this morning when I walked in and then she told me to not think I have her figured out and know what she is feeling. I don't think I have her figured out at all or honestly I wouldn't be on here everyday asking for help. After she said that I just started up a whole new conversation that had her smiling and laughing like usual but she just confuses me a lot and it makes me a little aloof at times. I need help on how to handle this cancer woman.

    I'm not really sure what I did to make her mad at me and in my other post she got made at me for sucking my teeth jokingly when she jokingly denied me a hug. I don't know why everything I do makes her upset if we're just friends and she has a boyfriend. I just don't know how to keep her happy.

    Thanks

    Cappie



  • Dear noonie 1801

    It is not your job to make her happy, why do you even care? If you make one good friend in your workplace that you feel is someone that you enjoy talking to and being around, than why worry yourself about this one person. I can sense that you are a good person and try to get along and please those around you at work. Is she your boss? I don't think so.

    Start to tell her the truth in which you did, if she begins to act in a negative way than I would suggest that you tell her you would rather talk to her when she can be more positive.



  • We've become really close in the past year and I started to develop feelings for her. I just don't want to continue to upset her and it seems like she expects me to do certain things in certain situations and I'm just failing. I just try to be there for her while her and her boyfriend are going through a lot of problems.



  • Best to learn to flow w/ it so to speak and try being detached. Cancers are soooo moody and have that sting that comes out of no where, (crab) that surprises the heck outta us cuz when they are focused on us it's like pure radiant sunshine. Like Shaubby says it's not your job to keep her happy, but for your own serenity since you do have to work w/ her I'd work on letting go of the power you let her have over you. Just do your job, be kind to others and let her be. Office politics are never easy especially when we get a crush on someone it really throws a hammer in the mix. Focus on your own happiness.

    Cheers Pfree



  • Don't let her affect your well being.....especially at work, sometimes just a smile or a wave would be enough acknowledgement. I don't know the details, but sounds like she is insecure--we are moody, but sometimes we don't know we are doing it. I agree, if you are friends you still need to detach alittle. Good luck.



  • Do you think Cancer's mood are more affected by full moon or new moon, just curious?



  • full moon



  • lol full moon omg!!!



  • Pfree... we are and we do, it is because we feel threatened personally or feel the need to protect something. It takes alot of self-control not to do that and a huge dose of thinking before we react --it is for alot of us a knee jerk reaction. Just saying 🙂 tc



  • Now today she still acting like she doesn't want to talk to me and I asked her if I offended her or did something to hurt her feelings and she said no but she is just going through a lot of things and have things on her mind. Around other people she act like everything is fine. I'm not sure if she is showing me her true side and just putting up a front in front of others or if I really did do something and she is just not telling me. I may just give her some space and just let things happen I guess.

    Thanks for all your answers

    Cappie



  • She probably does have things on her mind, but she could be in a mood and is trying to figure out whatever it is. Sometimes we get so focused on internalizing things we shut people off. Try not to take it personally, giving her space might be a good idea, have you tried letting her know you are there if she needs to talk? It takes most Cancers awhile to decide we want to and she could be picking up on your confusion. Good luck Cappie.



  • Now today she told me that I am too attached and need to pull back cause we are just friends and nothing more. I think she is the one attached to me and makes me feel that we're more than just friends. She's the one that gets upset if I don't speak to her right away when I get to work in the morning or if I speak to someone else before I speak to her then she will give me mean looks all day because of that. Then if I'm having a conversation with a girl she tries her best to get my attention and will even interrupt my conversation and make it seem like it's something important she needs from me when it's nothing that she needs, she also stares at me all day and when I'm just relaxing and reading my paper she will get mad because I'm not giving her any attention when I have free time. I don't flirt with her or make any advances toward her. She just really confused me with what she said cause I feel she is the one attached just by what she does daily and complains about me when I'm not giving her attention. Then it seems every 5 minutes I'm hurting her feelings when I'm just joking with her and sometimes I don't even be talking to her about something and still hurt her feelings when it has nothing to do with her. This isn't the first time she stated that and when she said it the first time again she was the one acting if we're a pair. I just apologized again and told her I will just give her space and I see her as a friend. So I just started reading something then she tried getting my attention and kept calling my name. I ended up being busy while she was trying to talk and she just kept staring at me. I mean really what is the deal?? She acts like we're together but then tells me I'm attached. I ended up asking my supervisor if I could just go home cause I was not feeling like working after that.



  • Noonie1801, I think you shouldn't let this girl (regardless of her sign) screw up your work.

    Esp. when you two weren't even involved to begin with.

    If her so call mood is affecting your this much when you 2 are just friends, imagine when you 2 are actually together!!!.

    Just saying, if I were you, I don't want to lose both love and job at the same time.

    I'll be upset and cry all I need at home, but it can't affect my work.

    Just my opinion, stay strong 😃



  • tell her to get lost. she's an emotional mess



  • I can't believe how much of a throw away society we r...I am a leo, and my best friend is a cancer, she is moody as h*ll...but I shrug it all off when she gets in those moods. Sometimes I pick her up from work and she is really moody, gets in my car and rants...I just tell her awww muffin, I think u need a hug, and I literally do it even if she pushes me away...U HAVE TO STAY POSITIVE, don't respond to bad behavior by mirroring her behavior, believe me lots of couples do this and it never works! Now I have to ask...does u'r cancer friend know u have a crush on her? I mean...have u told her how u feel about her?? I'm sensing that u haven't and therefore she is feeling like u r playing with her emotions. She is getting angry with u because u haven't been UP FRONT with u'r intention. If u only want to be friends then stop showing more caring feelings towards her. If u truly care for her, then just ask her if she would like to go for a coffee after work. If she says yes, then realize this is u'r opportunity to bring u'r feeling for her to the surface and let her know why u ask her to come for a coffee with u. Explain to her that u have to remain professional at work, as personal things should be kept away from the work environment, and that it would also be mature to do so. Always be willing to talk things out with a cancer, they don't like to be pushed aside and ignored, they could even get vendictive...I've seen my friend do this at work, but I always talk sense back into her, and tell her that the guy isn't worth her effort or her anger...she usually listens to me because I build her up emotionally and mentally. I have been with her threw thick and thin, good and bad and all her drama, and yet they say Leo's love drama, I can't stand it!! Whatever u do never come across unhappy, always build her self esteem up and be positive, give her positive upbuilding, even when she is seriously down in spirit...those r crucial times for her...she is seeking strength in u, and she is wondering if u really r into her. She is definitely sensing the crush from u, and is getting frustrated with u not being forward with u'r intentions. Lay it on the line, why wait to find out yrs from now how she feels about u. U should want to know aswell if she feels the same for u, so grow some b@lls and pipe up...I'm telling u it is the best way to do things. As a woman, I know what women want, and we want a man to show strength by being forward with u'r emotions...otherwise u r coming across as a player when she sees u conversing with other women the same way. She is wondering where she truly stands with u....don't be so difficult, own up to u'r feelings and go from there! That is what is gonna resolve everything I guarantee it! Now if not then at least u know where u stand with her and then let her know u'r boundaries within u'r friendship, then she will have to live within those aswell, but she will at least respect u for u'r forwardness, and truthfulness towards her. Cancers have great intuition...don't think for a second that u can pull the wool over the eyes of a cancer. Just like mothers have great intuition with their kids...cancer is the sign of a mother instinct, so they have a natural one they live by aswell...Go get her tiger!!



  • Being a capricorn I have dealt with many cancers in my lifetime but this one has me really stumped and confused. It's like she does this push and pull thing that drives me insane. When she's down I am there for her and I'm still there when she say things to hurt my feelings. She'll tell me that we can only be friends then 5 minutes later she's flirting with me. I'm the one that feels she's playing with my emotions and how talking with a co-worker make me seem like a player? If she only see me as a friend then why would it matter? I'm just going to really put what we have on hold and if she needs to talk then I'm there but really I agree with the other responder if she's like this as friends then imagine being in a relationship with her. Even though I have a crush on her it's not like I flirt with her or even play with her emotions pushing her away or anything. I'm just going to chill and be in my capricorn thinking mode. Maybe there's trouble because I'm logical and she emotional but again she is the only cancer I know that acts like this so I don't know...



  • This Cancer is young and emotionally immature. She is using her intuition and manipulating the Cap because she can! Yes, she knows he likes her. Yes, she has a boyfriend whom she is probably not willing to leave. Yes, she likes flirting with him and getting his attention. She is also probably fantasizing a relationship with him in her mind, wanting what she can't have.

    What this Cancer needs is someone to call her out on her behavior. Gently but firmly.

    Her actions are messing with this Cap's job and emotions and she shouldn't be allowed to have this much power over him. Yes... it's a power/control game that is stemming from her confusion. If he is firm with her, he has a better chance of strengthening their friendship by setting some boundaries and she will respect him more for it.

    i'm a cancer



  • How do I call her out gently? It seems everything I do and say hurts her feelings. I don't mind staying friends with her but the games have to stop.



  • Maybe she is testing u to see if u r serious about her...How do u know if she is unwilling to leave her boyfriend? Maybe she will when she finds out how u feel towards her. Cancer don't like to be alone, I've noticed that with my friend...they get too lonely and make unwise choices when they are. They like to feel needed. If u crack that outer shell, she will completely trust u, but never betray her if u do get to that point with her...they r nasty when they want to be. I find when cancers care for u, sometimes they can depend on u for too much, they can even manupulate u'r time to serve them, and they can smother u with wanting to be with u 24/7. Ive had to put my cancer friend in her place a few times when she would assume I would jump for her needs, making my daily plans for me, I told her very quickly, what, I don't think so, I am busy with other things in my life, but if I get a chance I will consider what she needs from me...I am frank with her and she know that I will be a straight shooter with her. We always know where we stand with each other, and I think this is why our friendship has lasted for a long time. I've also noticed when she has difficulties at work I will offer her up suggestions on how to deal with people or situations, she will implement them, get a positive response at work, and then come back to tell me how she did these things at work, like as if I never suggested them to her in the first place, I feel she competes with me, wants to be alot like me, and at times it creeps me out. She will never admit I gave her great advice and she thanks me for it, she always takes all the credit for my suggestions. I am not insecure, therefore, I just allow her to believe whatever because she obviously needs to build herself up, I could care less about getting a pat on the back by people, but it is getting annoying when she steals my ideas and never admits to them being my ideas first. I am starting to back away from her now, and let her deal with situations here forward...I want to see if she is capable of figuring things out for herself...instead of me giving her the answers. I do have to say, if it weren't for me telling her to come and work for the company I was at, she would not have had full-time work. When I met her she was on social assistance, now she is working full-time, and is no longer on assistance from the government. So I have been a real impact in her life, however I have put my career on hold to do all these things for her, cause I genuinely care for her and wanted to see her confidence be built up, I am always willing to help others grow, but at what expense to myself?? Sorry to rant about my friend, but I thought it might help u with u'r friendship and see where u stand with u'r friend. U definitely have to set clear boundaries...my cancer friend also thinks that any man who pays extra attention to her has a crush on her, she has a huge ego that needs stroking...again yet I am the Leo, lol. I guess I am more balanced with things in my life...and will be more with her as of lately. My friend is competative at work, she is always outshining people, that can be great, but also these same people feel like she is disrespectful to them having to show them up all the time...kinda like a needy child per say...always saying look at me, look at me...what would this department ever do without me?? It can get annoying that's for sure especially when u feel like she always has to up-u-one...I am not competative with her, and I always have to remind her that I am not competing with anyone at work or in life...I am just being me like it or leave it. Hopefully she will learn otherwise she is gonna push the wrong buttons with many people in her life and she will lose in the end...just like u'r cancer lady. Good luck.



  • I just found out that the company picked me to be in a special group for a new project and I told her so now she pretty pissed that she wasn't picked also. So I will actually be moving to another part of the building and I guess we will see what happens between us. She stated that she was about to leave her boyfriend but I really don't believe her. They've been together for 7 years and she puts up with a lot from him. I jokingly refer to him as her husband which he might as well be since they have been together so long and I was pretty surprised that they weren't married but she hates it when I do that. I really try to open her eyes to things but she goes by emotions and not logic and just keeps running in place. She just recently started talking back to an old friend who she had a falling out with and she stated they wouldn't be friends anymore but know she will talk to her before she will talk to me and I'm wondering if she was really interested in a friendship with me or was I just there while her and the other friend was beefing. I don't know but I'm just going to chill for now and if it's meant to be then it will be cause I'm not one for drama and immaturity. Messanger, that cancer friend would really irritate me too.

    Cappie (leo moon)