Spiritual Boot Camp

  • Yes, Captain, I agree what I am searching for is really that happy, balanced and wise side of me. I am confident I will find that part soon.

    Your insight about me feeling my parents energies / emotions and shutting out my own empathy with theirs is helping me even more. I feel this abundance of weighed down-ness the minute I enter their house. Sometimes when I bring my own good energies to over power it but since now I myself am bogged down by my own negativity it gets too much. But I am beginning to separate it. With opening up myself to them it will be easier. They are very much willing to listen and be there and to be together is ultimately what all of us want and Ive realised I dont really want them to 'get me' anymore, I just want them. Also, a large part of my family issues were tied up more with my sister than my parents so working on it. Tackling the hardest part first always makes the rest so easy 🙂

    The toughest right now is living with my husband. He is steeped in his hurt and suppressed anger and his negativity almost kills my spirits as soon as I enter home. I tried hard to separate it yesterday but was just unable to. I know its not my own emotions because I am so happy and chirpy when I am outside home but feel this sudden gloom and darkness when I go home. Also I feel normal and at peace at home when he is not around. I want to help him get over it but I cannot. I wish he would decide to get out of it for himself...he is still running around in the same circles and not willing to rise over it for himself... I give complete validity to his pain and hurt and feel guilty for it too and maybe that guilt does not allow me to separate my feelings from his...I wear his cause I feel responsible for his hurt...really dunno what to do about this situation 🙂

  • My friend calls it a global shift in consciousness, I like that.

    Fascinating stuff. Thank you Captain.

  • Saggigirl Hang in there better days are sure to come. Great work on recognizing your true self that's not easy. Helping yourself is not easy when there are others involved but in time you'll be in an easier place.

  • Thanks amused59. You have no idea how much that meant. Thank you.

  • Thanks amused59. You have no idea how much that meant. Thank you.

  • Thanks amused59. You have no idea how much that meant. Thank you.

  • OHH, I missed this back tomorrow, physical can be good but I understand that it means nothing much later on, yeah like empty, I'd rather have good than awful. What about the Concept of Sin??

    Is that gone now?

    Like Adultry?

  • Saggigirl, it's a strange thing that when we are together with our original family, we seem to revert to a state of inequality and childishness like the young person we once were. Ideally we can all learn to relate to our parents and siblings as adults wth a more mature outlook and perspective.

    Have you tried telling your husband what you pick up from him - all the doom and gloom - when you are near him? He may not realize how bad he has gotten.

  • DailyOM -

    One of the key components of human consciousness that most of us need to address and change is our tendency to be hard on ourselves. We do this in ways that are both overt and subtle, and half the work sometimes is recognizing that we are doing it at all. For example, if we find it difficult to graciously accept compliments, this is probably a sign that we tend to be hard on ourselves. Other ways in which we express this tendency include never feeling satisfied with a job well done, always wanting to be and do better, and getting mad at ourselves for getting sick. Getting mad at ourselves at all indicates that we need to rescue ourselves from our learned ability to be unkind to ourselves.

    In essence, when we are hard on ourselves, we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough. Whenever we do this, we do damage that will need to be addressed later, and we sap our systems of much-needed energy. Being hard on ourselves is a waste of precious time and energy that we could use in positive ways. To begin to understand how this works, we can think about times when someone made us feel that we weren't good enough. Even just thinking about it will create an effect in our bodies that doesn't feel good. We may be used to the feeling, but when we really tune into it, we instinctively know that it is not good for us on any level.

    Like any bad habit, being hard on ourselves can be a challenging one to release, but the more we feel the burden it places on us, the more motivated we will be to change. At first, just noticing when we are doing it and how it makes us feel is enough. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural relationship with ourselves.

  • Spirit says that many addictions are the results of low self-worth. Gamblers are trying to beat a system that they feel is better than them, hence even when they win big, they are driven to keep on gambling. People addicted to food are trying to nourish that part of themselves that doesn't feel good enough or trying to return to a time when they did feel worthy - if they crave foods they had as children. Sex addicts are craving the love and attention they feel they never had or don't deserve to give themselves, and thus they seek approval and proof of attractiveness from others. Drinkers and drug addicts crave an escape from feelings of low self-worth and the unhappiness it brings. Somewhere sometime addicts were made to feel worthless, useless, valueless by others. All these addictions can be resolved if people would only work on raising their levels of self-worth and actually believing in themselves that they have strength, wisdom and ability.

  • That hits pretty close to the mark for me Cap'n. I have suffered from low self-worth for a while. As you suggested though, I am working on not comparing myself to others.

    Thanks for the continued insights


    We all have periods of darkness but at those times ask God to fill you with his light and take the Darkness away, the more light you incorporate into your body the better you will feel, believe and know that you are so loved. 🙂

  • Praying for all around the world, will try to check in this weekend. Love....

  • Thank you poetic555 🙂

  • K.

  • Here is another great Daily Om that I think fits here perfectly 🙂

    Feeling Threatened

    Afraid of the Truth

    We avoid the truth because it scares us, or makes us angry, or makes us feel like we don’t know what to do.

    Most of us have had the experience of being in possession of a piece of truth that we were afraid to share because we knew it would not be well received. There are also instances in which we ourselves have been unable to handle some truth confronting us. This might be a small truth, such as not wanting to see that our car needs repairs because we don’t want to pay for them, or a large truth, such as not fully accepting that someone close to us is pushing us away. Usually the truth is evident, and we can see it if we choose, but we have elaborate ways of hiding the truth form ourselves, no matter how apparent it is.

    For the most part, we avoid the truth because it scares us, or makes us angry, or makes us feel like we don’t know what to do. We often create our lives based on a particular understanding, and if that understanding turns out to be fully or even partially incorrect, we may feel that our whole sense of reality is being threatened. It takes a strong person to face the truth in circumstances like these, and many of us run for cover instead. Nevertheless, we can only avoid the truth for so long before it begins to make itself known in ever more forceful ways.

    Ultimately, there is no way to avoid the truth, no matter how painful it is, so the sooner we let down our defenses, the better. When we know the truth and accept that we may have to adjust our lives to accommodate, we are in alignment with reality. At the same time, we can be patient with people around us who have a hard time seeing the truth, because we know how painful it can be. Whatever the truth is, we make a sincere effort not to close our eyes to it, but instead to be grateful that we have access to it.

  • Hi I think this is a great thread. I hope my story is not too shocking for you all I will give u the short version. I grew up in a 2 parent family with 2 brothers 1 older 1 younger, i was the middle child, a girl. I don’t really remember at what age the sexual abuse started but I can remember being younger and my mother putting me in the bed to sleep between her & my father, yes. that's what happened. the abuse carried on for years, my mother turned a blind eye. I was also abused by a teacher at school, I went to the authorities when I was 14 and reported the abuse, family school everyone was involved. after speaking with my parents everyone decided I was lying and I was sent home with my parents, my life turned to Sh..t . I started running away from home & got into trouble with the police,I messed up my life for a while, then turned my life around after abut 7 years got a good job, raised a family etc, Iwent through some counselling & confronted my father, He is now dead, My mother is still alive and we have contact, but I find it difficult. In my life now, however I feel lost again and have been out of full time work for two years, and no longer have my own home. I am not sure where to go from here with my life, every thing for me has changed in the last 3 years. I feel no security & seem not to be moving ahead I feel very stuck in life & I am starting to think that it is connected to my past, I don't know what people see when they look at me but I suspect they think something is wrong with me, as they cannot understand why I am in this situation as they see me as someone who has everything going for them. looks brains confidence, so I am not living up-to my potential. I have always worked on myself to improve so I am also very frustrated with myself. I can't remember what I was really like as a child as I know i lived in dread or fear a lot. that's it for now thank you

  • Liblovey, shame on all those adults who let you down when you were young and vulnerable. But good on you for coming through it with such courage and strength.

    Yes, there are old issues that are still bothering you. I feel on some level you are not sure if you were right about what happened or if you should have spoken up. Deep down the way the adults denied what happened shook your confidence in yourself and you became unsure about making decisions and taking action in your life. Your mother must be confronted so that you can be sure of the truth. She knows exactly what happened - she planned it after all. Her taking you into the bed between her and your father was her way of avoiding sexual contact with him and putting you in her place. This is the shocking truth of what she cannot admit to. But you have to keep at her until she does - for both your sakes. Otherwise there is no point in staying in contact with her as it would just be a dishonest relationship. She probably thinks you have forgiven and forgotten.

    First write down everything you want to say to her, then read it to her face-to-face. If possible, you also need to confront this teacher at school and make enquiries about his other pupils - maybe put a discreet ad in the paper asking for any students who had dealings with him to contact you, for you surely won't have been the only victim. Basically what you need to do is take action against those who abused you and let you down. Otherwise, by accepting their behaviour, you continue the abuse in your head and have achieved no justice for yourself - it will still keep haunting you, as you are being affected in the present in a negative way. No one else stood up for you then so YOU must stand up for you now.

  • Hi Captain

    thank you for your response. I have done some work on healing from this, and at numerous times have brought it up with my mother, and basically she apologises, she acts very guilty, and say's what could she do, I feel very sorry for her as I know she was terrorized by my father, my mother is an alcoholic now, and my visits really distress her. yes you are correct about the reason I was in the bed. It all happened over 37 years ago so for my mother some of the memories are lost. and sometimes I feel like I am torturing her.


  • Liblovey, you are not torturing your mother - she is tormenting herself with her guilt. Have you told her you forgive her (if you actually do)? Most of all, she needs to be able to forgive herself.

    When you confronted your father, did he admit his guilt?

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