Spiritual Boot Camp



  • Amused 59, you're right 🙂 I should represent my name. Thank you for your encouragement!

    Captain, I do approve of myself... As much as I doubt some things, I still know that my life has meaning.. I'm sensitive to others' approval, though.. I do need to reassure myself more and keep my confidence alive and visible.



  • AngelaVictoria, I don't think you approve of yourself enough - if you did, you wouldn't need any outside encouragement. Once you give yourself what you need, you lose the need for such feedback from others. The only reason we seek love or approval or support outside ourselves is because we lack it inside. If you think about it, it's quite illogical to demand of others what we could supply for ourselves and be self-sufficient. If you favour other people's opinions of yourself over your own, then it shows a lack of trust and faith in your own judgment and abilities, that you think others know better than you. You must do the things you fear or feel you are incapable of doing to prove to yourself that you are strong and worthy.

    That's all we are ever really doing - proving to ourselves that we are lovable and valuable human beings. It doesn't help if somebody screwed up our sense of self-worth when we were young. But you have to be your own ideal mother or father. Everyone is too wrapped up in proving to themselves that they are OK to be concerned with validating other people. So you are the only person who can give you the full attention, approval and love you crave.



  • Amused59, in a way you have become the sort of mother you always wanted when you were young - someone understanding but firm, kind but aware of boundaries. Good for you - I'm sure it did feel very good.



  • AngelBoots, you do deserve that medal.



  • Exercise: Throw away something that you have been keeping for a long time but that no longer has any meaning or represents you as a new person with a new life beginning.



  • Thanks for the advice Captain, I will try to view them differently because I do want to let go of past hurts that's stopping me from moving forward, as to your question Yes I have experienced fear of abandonment and bad moods, it was in my first real serious relationship I shared with my first love, I feel that relationship changed me and made me fear the worst in any relationship I get into.



  • Hey Mystical Energy & amused59,

    I'm 52 too! I wonder who else here is 52? I think thats interesting and would like to share my 50 story.

    I was so excited to turn 50, I felt like a kid before Christmas, it was odd cause I know so many people who do not look forward to 50, anyway I really thought all my "Super Powers" would magically kick in, like everything would just come together and make sense. I do believe I see things clearer now, but 52 was a little weird cause I just wasn't as together as I thought I would be. So here I am in "Boot Camp" but I am excited. Cheers to 52!



  • MysticalEnergy you are so INSPIRATIONAL!! "I AM SPECIAL" will be my mantra when I look in the mirror! I feel better already 🙂 I am much better with the guilt thing, but it still sneaks up on me every now and then. Thank you! Love and Light GJay



  • Hi Fiercetika,

    I think we are all in the same boat, dealing with our families and issues as best we can. I think these excerises are definitely making us see things more clear. I know when I wrote out my childhood story I definitely cried and was really tired after. Grief tears are very healing! There are actually toxic chemicals released in grief tears, where tears from cutting an onion for example only contain saline and water. So its very healing to have a great cry and release all those old toxins! Love and Light GJay



  • LOL those of us that are 52 are finally playing with a full deck!!!! maybe its taken us a while to be rid of our past hurts but we're young enough in spirit to face boot camp with passion & determination to grow, & find inner peace & deepen our self love. I'm in awesome company ...thanks for your support & cherished understanding...... 🙂



  • OMG amused59! That is so funny FULL DECK!! Ha I would have never made the connection 🙂 Oh yea I think this is going to be an awesome time for us, and yes awesome company too!



  • Hi Captain,

    I believe my mother is jealous of all women. She hasn't liked people much, but she especially despised most women, she seems to have mellowed quite a bit in the last few years. I feel bad for her as I know its her insecurities, however that does not make it any more tolerable, and we seem to have a decent relationship since I have told her how I feel, how hard it was to be her daughter with her dislike of women, and what I can't handle. That was about 15 yrs ago, her change in behavior was amazing after that, which I am grateful for. I think all of us were so scared of her no one has ever stood up to her, and that was our fault., she's kind of like a spoiled kid. She has done her best to apologize, and explain her behavior. Also I have always felt that I was supposed to go through what I went through as part of my path so I suppose has helped me to not hold too many grudges. And as tonib3741 says nobody is here forever, and it is good to make peace, I believe this. For me a few things that really irritated me with my daughter or my dad were things I would have so loved to see after they were gone, its amazing how life just seems to shift perspective after a major tragedy. Love and Light. GJay



  • Hi The Captain,

    Its been a while since I dropped into the forum but I LOVE your idea. I know that I need to start to trust myself and to learn patience. I am one who second guesses herself and not confident enough to know that I can make the right decisions.



  • The Mirror:

    I see jowls! I thought for sure it was going to be the bags under my eyes or wrinkles that bother me by the time I reached this age, I mean jeez isn't that what's advertised! I don't remember seeing any special creams for my jawline!

    Overall I see a fairly perky spirit, maybe a bit quirky too:). Warm, fun, strong and a good aura too.

    But when I look at the eyes in the mirror I recognize that look. That absense of something. Its the same look I've seen in other's that have lost a child, I recognize their look instantly before they even speak. I practice smiling and thinking funny things and my eyes perk up a bit but that sadness is still there, something missing. I can still see the spark in those eyes tho and thats very cool!



  • GJay, a spark is hope for things to ignite & become a glow!!! Stick with this thread & hopefully you'll find whats missing. In a way I'm sure all of us have a bit of a haunting deep in our eyes that's why we're here to be rid of the past. The eyes are a window opening into one's soul I believe..I always look there first when I meet someone it tells me alot. A spark is always a good sign!



  • I will try to reflect and pray to find things I approve in myself and to hold them above typical expectations I perceive others to have for me.

    My mind is tired... seeing the world in a different way than I usually have is like an exercise that will take a bit to adjust to.

    Thank you for your patience... ❤

    -Angela



  • So Talisa72, what was your childhood like?



  • Hi Gjay,

    Thanks for taking the time out to let me know I am not alone in this situation, sometimes when you are going through something you question why me? When in reality there are many people just like you who feel the same way. I appreciate the Exercises and hope at some point we all make it to where we want to be. You are right about the tears letting it out really helped me to feel a little better! God Bless 🙂

    P.S Am I the only 20yr old in this Boot camp, you guys make me wish I was 52yrs old lol, but its ok I often feel I am an old soul!



  • Captain,

    had to mull this one over for a bit ..."how long/often does one need to go f2f or via telephone to subject oneself to such situations.......?"

    This is what I came up with ~

    Me, my self-worth and my time are worth more than this. True success involves feeling good, even about the things that don't seem to be working, not chasing hollow victories.

    Thank you ~

    ME



  • Amused59 ~ do I hear a comedy act coming from you? Bravo ~ what a funny way to look at it ~ FULL DECK!! OH so sweet.

    A sense of 3 of a kind had crossed my mind so lets see if we can draw in a fourth or fifth etc. of a kind or make it a Full House and no I am not a gambler yet it goes to show we are each individuals on our own yet put together can build bridges and even houses. LOL

    GJay, thanks for noting it again as for me the first Full Deck noted Amused59 I allowed to pass right by me.

    Thank you!

    ME


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