I need advice from Taurus women!!!

  • Your welcome buddy-and dont worry your're young in spirit lol! Love ya have a good one! 🙂

    And about your ex, your slowly letting it go-you will always have her in your heart but you know you deserve better and know you can move on and apart of you doesnt want to and apart of you does. That struggle-is the struggle of what you want and what you need. You dont want to let go because you want the good times you had together and want/miss the companionship you guys had but you are ready to let go because you know you need to in order to completely be at peace with the situation-you've learn alot from it and know you deserve better and knowing more you can give/ a be better in a new relationship when it comes your way. Its ok to feel this way its all in the process, you will heal and I believe your close to being complete just continue doing what you are doing and love will find you-you are blessed and will continue to be. Have a good one Cancerman276-hope everything is going well 🙂

  • Cancerman276, Did you get the link I sent to you? 🙂 I love quirky...

  • Hey everybody!!! I am home!! Missed you all!!

    Mark - how was your birthday?????? 🙂

  • Cancerman, you are absolutely right . At first , I felt really guilty thinking about what I put him through and how I never made anything easy for him , but then as I replayed every scenario back in my head of everything that was shared between us in the past year and a half , It just hit me , this guy is purely attracted to me - physically , and thats it!!! It all makes perfect sense to me now , on why he couldnt let me go , he never wanted to discuss his feelings , its so transparent now . I think I lead myself to believe what I wanted it to be soo badly because of how he made me feel. I actually dont see him as a" knight in shining armour" as I once did. A real man who was truly in love with me would have left me alone for the sake of protecting me , he knew all the pain it was causing for us to be together , but everytime we talked all he was interested in , was when we could be together. I don't know , maybe im not really in love with him either , all I know is that I am standing by my decision and that means no contact WHATSOEVER, because theres too much confusion when he is around and that is the only way , like Cancerman said to get him completely off my back!!

  • Sorry Cancerman , your user name confused me , thought you were 35.lol

  • earthangel2,

    What did you really expect? Come on, seriously, your married so is he! He wasn't in any hurry to leave his wife for you, (red flag), Was it truly worth it?

  • No, it wasn't. But, what I am admiring about her, is her NEW realization. On her own, which is huge!! Kudos for you Earthy.....sticking to your guns and morals and realizing it may not have been what you wanted it to be!! HUGE lesson you just learned!!

    Not to nag, disagree or downplay on you my dear piscesstar - but do you see what I am seeing here? She remained steadfast, even though she was tempted. Yes, she let her mind and feelings wander but NEVER acted upon them. Even though she felt she was in love. I have a great respect for her. I do. She worked this out. And was not afraid to be honest and ask for help and insight. I am just very happy for her right now. So many people often destroy lives when in her exact shoes, and then realize it was never worth it to begin with.

  • Keep your head up earthangel2 and turn to god for strength when you need it, or talk to us here. We are always willing to listen. We love you girl and are very proud of you!!!

  • YES! Thank you , I am proud of myself as well , I feel a sense of freedom like i've never felt before . I have God to thank because he has been answering my prayers and giving me the strength to hold my ground with my cancer friend , I have been praying for him to and I know its only been a few days , but I know things are going to be ok for the both of us. I have been taking baby steps with my husband and it has worked wonders .

  • earthangel2,

    Now your talking....Good for you!

    Baby steps are always a start.....keep walking, stay true to you!!

  • Piscesstar , Yes , apart from wanting to please God. I always knew deep down inside that I was sacrrificing too much of who I was , it was never settling so ultimately I knew I had to call it quits , not for the person he was , he was truly beautiful.

  • Earthy, I just have to say, anyone can beautiful when they WANT something. Even Satan was the most beautiful Angel and I am quite sure he was a beautiful snake if that's posiible. Do you get what I am saying?

  • Hey everyone 🙂

    I forced myself to look at my ex's profile today, even though I can't see much because she has blocked me from seeing most of her profile, and to my surprise, the pull of he beautiful smile still took me back to when she was my love. It hurt more than I thought it would. I thought I was almost completely over her but apparently I'm not. Why do I still care for this women who couldn't care less about me? It's very frustrating. I think I'm mostly just lonely. I have come a long way but it's not over yet. There is still a part of me that wishes she was who I thought she was, but she isn't. She is not a Godly women and I know that in the long run my desire to raise children in a Godly home would have destroyed our relationship, had it continued.

    Sometimes I just feel so torn between the old me and the new me. The old me being a complete pleasure seeker. Letting my emotions direct my every move. But selflessness is not guided by emotions. Love should not be guided by emotions. And true happiness is not reliant on cheap thrills. These are the things that dominated my early life, and they brought me nothing but misery and loneliness. I think one of the big problems with relationships today is the deceptive thought that unless we feel warm and fuzzy inside we are not with the right person. The catch is, there is no one that can sustain that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you first fall in love. It is a fleeting feeling. We must work hard to keep the spark alive and that requires doing what's right even when we don't feel it in our hearts. Sex, food, and material things can all make us feel that warm and fuzzy feeling for a short time, but if we rely on mass consumption of these things, for a perceived happiness, we become slaves to them, and nothing good will come of it. Love is much more than a feeling. Christ said "If you love me, follow my commandments". In other words, regardless of how we feel, we cannot say we love someone without doing the right thing, and sometimes the right thing doesn't make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. it's easy to love people who are just friends because they don't typically require much from us, but relationships are different because they require us to put aside our selfish desires and cheap thrills. But most people are not willing to do that because it's not always fun to do. I believe we live in a society that breeds hedonists, me being one of them, and it's an environment that is not healthy for true, loving, relationships. I can say that I love someone till I turn blue in the face, but if I am not willing to set aside my selfish desires to make things work, I don't try love that person. I only love the way they make me feel when things are good. True, loving relationships require great sacrifice. Why are so many people willing to make sacrifices for their kids well being but not for their spouse or lover? I suppose it comes down to the fact that children aren't capable of making wise decision like adults, so when an adult makes a poor decision we are less likely to forgive them.

  • Wow, Cancerman , that is where all the problems lie in men and woman having affairs , they are reliant on "cheap thrills" like you said , and then become a slave to them . Its wonderful that you have come to realize this in yourself and are working on being a better man , I too am now coming to this tough realization in myself that maybe what I thought was love was just lust and I was just indulging in what made me feel so good , because It was easier for me to justify why I went against my morals and everything I believed in . All the answers for all of lifes questions are in the bible and some may not be aware of that because they dont read/study the bible or know Gods word , but even us who are christians who know this have to more importantly practice this and live it , its so hard for me because I think I live to feel something , I have to have pleasure in everything I do , or I become quickly depressed . I rely too much on the material things that give me pleasure , this is my greatest flaw and I pray to God that he help me with this struggle .

  • Thanks earthangel2 🙂 You are wonderful. It's not easy to do what's right when our mind and bodies are telling us the opposite. It's definitely a growing process and I don't believe it is possible without God's grace. I'm not implying that a women should stay in an abusive relationship or anything like that. It's just, if we would spend as much time on getting to know God and working on our issues we wouldn't feel the need to constantly seek fleeting pleasures.

  • Thats the good thing that I find in my husband ,is that he knows this as well , unlike my cancer friend who I feel is just like me in that aspect where we "need " to feel something, I know I have always painted this beautiful picture inside my head of what love should be . I've forever lived with an unquenchable thirst for finding that perfect man who will satisfy all my desires and needs , and that man like my husband says doesnt exist , he always tells me that no one will ever live up to my expectations because they are unrealistic , and I am finally beginning to see where all my problems now lie and the reason I tend to withdraw from him when I am disappointed which is very often . But he is helping me with that because he is a very mental person who doesnt live for the romance and the feeling of being in love so it helps that he tells it like it is and doesnt go along with my little pretty world that I created for myself, that guy doesnt sugarcoat ANYTHING for me! lol( thank God for that)

  • cancerman - I am so sorry. Yet, healing takes time. It just does.

    Here is an interesting thought shared to me by a friend; If you truly love someone, in the purest, best form, you put their happiness before your own. Even if that means their happiness is not with you.

    I can agree with that. Especially since the love I am experiencing with J. It freaks me out. It does. To know that I could easily let him go, bc I love him so much. But, being honest with myself, I know I would. That is how much the man means to me.

  • Taurus7 - You are truly blessed to have a love like that! Dont let it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Sigh......huge one...I miss all of you....

  • Whats going on Taurus7?

Log in to reply