I need advice from Taurus women!!!
Check your email...
You know where to find me!
Piscesstar - THANK YOU!! Doeyed got my email and we chatted!! She was such a huge help! A solid rock of truth!! Thanks doey!!
Just to let you all know, we are leaving tomorrow on vacation!! We are "unplugging" LOL I will be off and on tonight, but gone for a week!! I will miss you all!!
Have fun on vacation Taurus7!!
Happy birthday Mark!! Love you!! Bunches!!
How is everyone??? I feel like this thread is dying and it kind of makes me sad
Anyway, hope you all are well!
Dont worry Cancerman , im still here, I felt the same way , I have been going through alot these past few day , probably due to his birthday just passing . I know I might have said in ealier post that I never had a problem with him "retreating" to his shell or having similar problems as many women here post about cancers not returning calls or disappearing then coming back like nothing. The only behavior I relate to him being very much a cancer is his protective nature, and his being EXTREMELY defensive when asked about his feelings. My cancer friend always returned EVERY call , our time together was always at my convienience. So now a year and seven months later for the first time , he completely dropped off the face of the earth , and two weeks without seeing him or any contact was a first for both of us, but I also knew he was planning a big party for his birthday so I knew I would be seeing him soon , but I embraced our break and hoped it would lead to us building strength to once and for all move on . When I saw him on Friday I of course wished him a happy birthday , the house was full and he seemed busy making sure everyone was good, so as soon as I left to the restroom he grabbed me from behind playfully and I said please dont , my family was there, obviously his was too and I didnt get this far to be getting caught like that . So I freaked out cause he wasnt letting me go and I quickly jumped in the room that was hosting all the kids there to free myself of him . He stood outside the door and wouldnt leave and kept signaling me to come out and I thought, this gut is going to get us both caught , and the kids turned and some looked confused on why he was standing there just waiting so I walked out and he said"please, can we just talk, thats all I want" I said , "sorry not here, can I please just use the restroom " his foot was in the bathroom door and finally I just had to physically force the door shut . That small altercation was exhausting for me mentally , I didnt expect him to pull a stunt like that when he had all his friends and family around , so later into the night he overheard my husband tell me he was ready to go but to first fix him a plate . So cancer guy followed me to his kitchen and now seemed nervous to approach me , but asked me ever so shyly if I was leaving already and I answered "Yup" He just stood there leaning sideways on the wall ,watching me, he seemed almost desperate and said , "look im sorry , relax , just relax, your not going anywhere" After his plea , how could I still be angry for what he tried to pull earlier , it was his birthday after all . So I made it a point to hang in there , it was sweet to seem him happy afterwards he seemed very much at peace after he saw I wasnt going anywhere:) it was my birthday present to him .lol . Seeing him sooo happy made me in the mood to tell him I loved him , and not in that confessional Im in love with you way , but in a caring way . And he told me " I love you , too" . It felt really good , and that was the end of his birthday.
Thanks for sharing earthangel2. I have been thinking about my ex a lot lately and feel the same as you. I wish I could just have a moment with her to apologize for not being the man I should have been and I would love for her to apologize for not being more caring when things promptly ended, but I don't think that will happen anytime soon, if ever. I haven't heard from her in months and if she feels the same way she felt with me after she ended a 3 year relationship ( without blinking an eye) with a guy she was living with, I'm sure she is completely content with never seeing me again. I still miss her smile but more than anything I just wish she cared for me the way I care for her. I don't want sympathy from her, I just want respect and friendship, and I'm not talking about being Facebook buddies or anything like that. I just would like to hear from her occasionally because I still care about her and want to believe that she care enough about me to not erase me from her life. I have no idea how she feels about me and I likely won't. Getting her to talk about her feelings is like trying to get a cat into a bath tube.
Where is everyone! I guess it is summer and people are busy. I know I am. Hope you all are well!
bathtub not bath tube lol!!!!
Cancerman , you know that story was from me , right . remember I already deleted my profile and started a new one with a new user name, for privacy reasons . But for some reason I dont see any of my posts erased yet , and that was the whole point ??
I know how it hurts Cancerman , Im still having a hard time as well, but dont worry , i not going anywhere, we will be here to support each other
I have not left you my friend!
How are you other than missing your ex?
Isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
Please don't tell me I missed it?
I have been busy my self, and I have been checking in here from time to time.
I did see my ex cancerman last week and decided to ignore him, I forgave him for what he did to me and that part of my life is over and in the past where it belongs.
I hope your getting out and meeting people!
Let me know the latest with you!
Hugs to ya
Happy Birthday Mark!!!!!
This post is deleted!
Happy 35TH Birthday!!!!!!!!! Big hugs for you!!!
Do any of you guys have any idea what that is???
HAPPY BDAY CANCERMAN276!!!! Hope all is well with you!!!!!! God bless you and have a wonderful and blessed day !!!!!
Cancerman , where are you , I really need your help!
I've been having this gut wrenching feeling for the past weeks and after seeing my cancer friend on his birthday and seeing that he still continues to "attempt" to talk to me to resolve our issues, I decided to call him with intentions of getting through to him once and for all. This is how it went:
Me- Hey how are you?
Him- Wow, I cant believe it , ive been waiting to hear your voice.
Me- Yeah, Yeah , look I dont know how to get through to you , what you did at your birthday , (physically tried to go in the bathroom with me- My husband couldve caught us) was not cool , we've talked about it , and I thought we both agreed that we needed to let go , and you make it hard .
HIm- I guess , sure, I promise it wont happen again . I wont ever try to touch you. Not going to happen...... So when can I hold you in my arms again
Me- See what I mean , you dont take me serious
Him- Well, I meant your right , I shouldnt try when other people are around , Ill be careful , promise , but I dont see how you just want to cut me off cold turkey(his words exact)
Me- what good would that do , seeing you one more time , its been months since we have been together , how can we move foward if we keep going back?
Him- your right , your right
Me: You know we have been through this soo many times, If I agree to see you , it just prolongs the hurt , I need to move on , but you got to help me, understand it has nothing to do with the person you are , I care about you , but I need to do the right thing.
Him- Well how can you just leave it like that , I think thats why theres always gonna be that burning inside , I believe you feel the same , always for me gonna be the what could have been
Me- Im sorry but there is always going to be that battle for me , I cant keep going back and forth
Him- You never went forth
Me- excuse me?
HIm- You keep telling me you cant keep going along with me, when you never were going along with me( that puzzled me , I wonder if he meant s- e- x)
Me- Hey there was a time , that I didnt question anything , I think I confused lust for love . What I need is to focus on my husband and be devoted to one man , cause thats all I know how to be .
Him- what do you want me to say - Im gonna leave my spouse! is that what you want to hear?
( I never ONCE questioned his relationship-- It would be too selfish , he spent EVERY spare moment with me , weekends for sure , holidays , yes , even with his wife around ,It was all about me , he didnt hide that part , always trying to get me to eat off his plate , acting like a five year old kid , he didnt say much , but I knew . I didnt have to wonder , more importantly I looked at his actions , what they showed me . )
Me- I NEVER EXPECTED THAT , I NEVER EVEN HINTED THAT, please , im not delusional, dont act like I would ever ask something like that, that is exactly why , THIS CANNOT BE!
HIm- Right , YOUR NEVER LEAVING HIM, im not gonna leave mine.
Me: I'd never ask you too , and thats why this relationship is not worth it to me , risk everything , for what??
(none of us wanted to hang up)
me- thank you for understanding , im sorry.
him- ok bye
What do you guys think of that, it may not sound like much , but I rarely give an inch , so that was HUGE for me , it was very hard for me , and it really wasnt all I wanted to say , its like im only half alive , cause im hiding the rest of me , buried deep inside , I dont ever want him to realize how much he really had a hold on me , for what , what good would that do , where would that get me??
I have a feeling he wont be coming around anymore, For sure not calling me ever. But its for the best, it had to be done.
Thank you for the birthday wishes everyone!!!! I am 34 years old and feeling more and more like an old man lol!
Things are better this week. I'm not missing my ex like I was. It's weird how randomly it hit's me. One day it will all be just a faded memory, and for some reason that makes me kind of sad. As much as I want to let go, there is still a part of me that doesn't.
First I want to say that yes, I knew it was you.
Now, about your phone conversation. I hate to say it but I think you will have to force yourself to ignore him completely to get him off your back. I think he is confusing lust for love. I'm not saying he doesn't love you, he may, but he is physically attracted to you and his desire to have you physically is more important to him than his love for you. The reason I say that is because if he truly loved you he would respect that you are both married and realize that it would never work. The lives that would be damaged/destroyed in the process of you two being together is not registering in his mind and heart and that it pure selfishness. He is not being a mature adult and you are trying, and he is not respecting that. He is selfish and will likely stop at nothing to get what he want's, and I believe what he wants is more physical and anything else.
You must put and end to this and the only way to do that is to completely ignore him. I'm sorry if this is not the advice you want to hear but I believe it is the truth. You and him can not have any type of relationship with the feelings you have for each other. You will always long for him if you continue to allow him to be a part of your life.