I need advice from Taurus women!!!

  • 'I have told him and he has listened and acted on it. A couple of weeks ago, my husband was out of work sick. I made some homemade chicken soup for him, gave him a massage, (focusing on his chest where he was congested) and pretty much babied him for the day. Then next day he went to work and when he got home he brought me a big bouquet of flowers with a thank you card. That is the first time ever. It was nice to be appreciated. Because we have been together for 20 years (including dating) and I have babied him from the beginning and that was the FIRST thank you for it all. He is listening...'

    I'm happy for you too ... see its all in the communication, and how you communicate ... as I said before, we guys and girls wired differently in our head, its really hard for us to pick up subtle signs that you are trying to communicate, we are not a mind reader, and its not because we don't care or love you, but we can only focus on 1 thing at a time in our head, so if our work taking so much space in our brain, and we know that you are fine, healthy, etc2 ... we gonna go to our own 'little planet', cutting ourself from outside world, and trying to solved our problem at work, and we gonna be normal again after that ... in the mean time, if you feel like that we have been abandoned you while we are doing that, or you think that we didn't give you the attention that you need ... you do need to speak up, slapped us on the face with what you really need, literaly, and that is how to call us back from our 'little planet'.

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  • 'Sagitarrius Sign - see what happened today, that is my security, what I described. My ex husband would have joined in the convo how horrible I was, yes, while we were still married.' - Taurus7.

    Yes, I see it, and I think its the normal social norm ... that you should defend the one that you loved, especialy in public. But, if I were in that situation, I might actually confronts that drama queen face to face, lol. Because I'm easy to loss my temper.

    Anyway, I think both you made a very wise decission ... everyone knows that she is drama queen ... so everyone likely to say to her 'yeah ... ehem ... whatever' ... and, if we are feeling at war when we are in our workplace, thats going to bugs us down.

  • I like to mentioned it too ... that says what you really wanted and mean it ... I'm not purposely pointing this to Taurus7, but for women in general ... If you really wanted your man to stand up for you, and when he is going to do that, let him do it, especially if this is his 1st try, this will tell his 'unconcious mind' on how to treat you in the future, so he is not to 2nd guessing ... 'should I defend her ... or letting it go?'. Well, confronting someone can be 'brutal' with pyhsical, like muscle with muscle, or .... with just word ... ex: saying 'I don't like what you said today to my girl', etc2 ...

    If you told 'J': 'She is just a hateful woman who loves to create drama' - If you like not to sweat over small thing ... but that drama queen is likely to repeated what she has done in the future ... just because she knows she can, and nobody is going to do anything about it, and your 'J' is likely to follow your attitude in the future ... 'not to sweat over small thing'.

    And, if you said to 'J': You don't have to worry about me!! She is just a hateful woman who loves to create drama. - - - 'you don't have to worry about me' ... hhmm, because we men, in general, taking everything on face value including with words ... if you said to him like that ... 'you don't have to worry about me' ... he is likely to play everything cool in the future, and make you wonder why he seems not worry with me? Especially if in his eyes, you are a strong women, it will make him think that you can 'tank' everything, and its not because he doesn't love you or care about you.

    So, I'm still not sure on how to handle a situation like just what you had, but if it was me, I'm going to confronts that drama queen ... I just have to think the more 'socially acceptable way' on how to do it, instead of 'the rough way' that I much preffer.

  • Taurus7 and doeyeyedpisces I'm sorry but I feel asleep last night. Pehaps we can all chat another night when I'm not being an old man lol.

  • Doeeyedpisces - ME too !! It was wonderful!! Way to fall asleep Mark....jk

  • Sagitarrius Sign - I was thinking that. I was. He has a temper. He does. He and that lady have a bad history and well, I am glad he did not say anything to her. Now, don't get me wrong, it showed me how much he cares about me. I will tell him that in a few!

  • Where you at Piscesstar!

  • Hey everyone!!!! It's my birthday and I created a gift for my self-the gift of self assurance! My problem is I can be so overanalytical that I can create self doubt in any decision or anything I decide to do for myself. I don't need others approval or reassurance, I need to believe in myself wholeheartedly and completely besides Ive made it through great storms before and I can make it again if I fall but Im not going to even consider focusing on that because I will be sucessful and I am sucessful! 🙂

    I began to think of this concept since yesterday after Mark gave me a little pep talk about about all I have to be sucessful especially with everyone's support on the site but he told me I need to believe in myself. Now at first I didn't know what he was talking about because I consider myself confident and assertive individual but I also reminded myself of my over analyzation of things and nervousness when it comes to making decisions. When I over analyze, I get nervous and have times of self doubt. I don't need that anymore Im going to take life as it comes and do the best and look out for myself and any decision I make.

  • Asia118X Good for you!!!!! Keep your head up girl and believe in yourself. Be the best person you can be and do the best you can do and leave the rest up to God to take care of!

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  • This may be interesting but Ive decided to add my ex on Facebook (haven't done it but I probably will some other time). After being in Spiritual Boot Camp-Ive gained some insight to my relationship with my ex through the Captain. He did have deep feelings for me he just wanted a different lifestyle at the time, he didn't want to give it up so he dumped me but I reacted in a very logical (smart move on my part) that made him realize that it was his loss and he should reasess his life before being rude to me. In turn I dint contact him every since that day 4 months ago to work on myself and rid myself of any deep rooted issues I had in my life to have a more postive impact on myself and the world. It is working I must say-Im better than ever before. I been talkin with tarot reader Hanswolfgang and he said that my ex still misses me and loves me but is scared to contact me becausehe thinks I hate him because he hurt me. He also said adding him on FaceBook is a good idea because its will help him dig deeper inside him self and eventually find deeper meaning and value in his life. He'll respect and actually thank me for it. Everyone around me especially my mother who tells me she knows me and doesn't think it's a good idea because she thinks I will blow progress and get distracted. Not to say I don't lovemy mother or don't believe her in knowing me, but I don't believe her because I know my own strength.

    I believe by adding him on Facebook gives me a challenge because I still love him and have compassion for him to help him but I want the best for myself but I know the best for myself is to focus on me. I don't need or desire a relationship with him or anyone right now. It gives me the challenge to put up boundaries and not just rush into anything. I can help him from afar and help him become a better person while all the while helping myself by focusing only happiness. I love helping people but I am assured now that I can help him without being with him right now because Im helping myself by staying focused on my goals.

  • Thanks for the happy bdays everyone appreciate it!

  • Happy Birthday Asia118X!!

    About Facebook. If he is still single I think you will be ok. But if he is dating someone else, I would advise you to reconsider. I thought I could handle being Facebook friends with my ex but I was not strong enough to see her happy with another person. It serisouly hindered my progress in working on myself. Just a thought.

  • Of course! I don't know if I would do it if he is dating someone it seems to be intruding on the relationship he has but for all I know he is single maybe I should find out for sure. He doesn't have any girlfriend or anyone on his page and never mentioned it on his wall. I kind of don't care about what my family says, do you think my mother will respect my decision?

  • I don't know but I'm sure you mother is just worried about you getting hurt. It's what loving mothers do. 🙂

  • I know and she can be very protective of me but she allows me to make my own decisions. I just dont want a backlash or her not believing in me wholeheartedly because of my history with him (She thought he was ok but never was ok with the relationship wholeheartedly) but I can feel I a better person now Im aware of my weaknesses but I think adding him (helping him) but focusing on myself at the same time can challenge to not be so intense about everything, meaning putting my heart all into everything. I hope I am sucessful at it and I have a great feeling I will be.

  • Asia118x, about adding your ex to your facebook or not, its definetly up to you, you are the one who knows the real strength in yourself. In my case, eventhough I already broken up with my ex (because she was cheating on me), but when she tried to add me back into her facebook, I accepted it, and until now she is still on my facebook. But, I treated her like mannequin, I never tried even once to contact her in anyway. Because I decided that I'm done with her. And, its quite tough at first, because she purposely posted her pictures with her new guy, etc2 on it, almost everyday ... but, I used her for my on benefit. I believed that constant exposure to what you fear, or what make you feel sad will make you indifferent at the end, and its, I don't have any feeling towards my ex now, ice cold, I really don't care if she is with her new guy, or whatever. I only took the lesson from our relationship, and move on. And, its feels like HELL at first, unbearable unknown emotions for almost 8 months, but I lived.

  • SagittariusSign Props to you man for facing your fears head on. I tried to do the same thing but just couldn't get over her, and I'm still having some issues but I am slowly healing. It's been about 6 months now and I am finally getting to the point why I can see things more clearly now and my heart is definitely healing. I'm realizing more and more and I'm accepting that my ex isn't the person I thought she was, as hard as that is. I still miss who I thought she was.

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