Hi captain

  • I've met someone I like and was wondering if you see this going anywhere.....or if you see someone else out there for me. I'm sorry to ask about something so trivial. It's been a while since being in a real relationship and this guy seems pretty nice. I''m October 1st and he is May 30th if that helps. About 6 years older than I am. It's very early days though and I tend to get excited about relationships just as they are starting. I am afraid of this feeling though as I don't want to be dissappointed if he turns out to not be what i think. I've had about two or three false starts since I've started dating and I just really am tired of being alone. Thanks for any insight.


  • Love here is likely to be intense - in fact, it must be moderated to avoid burnout. Even when your physical contact is gratifying, disagreements of all sorts may spoil your moods of contentment or ecstasy. To know when to leave each other alone, you both need to develop your intuition and above all have faith in the relationship's ability to heal wounds and promote understanding. Doubt, worry and control must be relinquished, leaving things to go as they will.

    Marriage or a longterm living arrangement here can be successful when you both share a belief system. Coming from similar backgrounds can also be a stabilizing factor. The danger is that intolerant or prejudicial points of view may influence any children for the worse. If you two hold opposing philosophies, you can expect heated arguments. You two typically get so involved in what you are doing that you are unaware of how disturbing you can be to others. Long after your confrontation has ended, observers may still be reeling from the fallout. You two are not particularly known for your social skills, a quality your relationship won't change.

    The primary challenge you face then will be to get along with each other on a daily basis. The love affair can be exciting and passionate but a living arrangement can be more difficult. If you are to avoid argument, you will have to find sources of authority on which you can both agree - neither of you is likely to take anything at face value. You are both individually very hard to convince, but together you may settle on a religious, philosophical, financial, spiritual or artistic creed or set of beliefs that you can accept. If this kind of common basis can be found, your arguments may become reasonable discussions, and your relationship a more easy one. You must take care however not to come off as bossy, authoritarian or supercilious towards others. Once you have formed a unit, it's all too easy for you to adopt an "Us against the world" attitude that can alienate you both from those around you.

  • Thanks a million Captain. I don't see the above issues yet but as I said, it is early days so those types of personality quirks don't tend to show up until two people get to know each other much better.

    i'm more wondering if you get the sense that this very baby relationship is going to have some legs and really get going into something meaningful and lasting? I only ask because we live a an hour and half apart and have been travelling to see each other. We communicate every day though and he has been very consisitent. ...which I like! 🙂 but don't want him to be discouraged by the distance. I am not!

    I'm continuing dating to others to keep my options open and so that i don''t get too attached to this guy until we both are ready to discuss and decide to give it a go with each other and be committed. I don't want to be pushy and it seems to early for that conversation but I'm so tired of dating and just want to be with one person. The dating others bit is not always fun as I really am not into the other guys as potential love matches and don't want to lead anyone on. It seems cruel. i do try to be honest and let them know what it is up.

    Anyway, I know the potential is there ( as you stated above) for a pretty intense relationship with this guy. I can feel it and I'm ready for one.... but do you it see it actually getting off the ground and happening? I'm trying to listen to my intuition and believe but am having difficulty detaching enough to really listen and trust. Like i said, I've had some tough heartaches the past 6 months or so with men who say all the right things and then turn out to be not so nice or genuine. I'm just curious is this one is something more meaningful. Detachment is hard.

    Thanks so much for your above response and if you feel like it...the next one too! 🙂 I've been following a lot of your other posts and feel a little sheepish writing about something like this when so much is going on in the world and I know we need to believe in our own powers of manifestation and have faith. I do read what you write in your blog and other places on the forums so this question of mine seems a little counter productive. Would be grateful for a response though. Thank you! xx SE

  • Yes I do feel the long distance puts your friend off. He is much more into physical contact than you - he feels it is important to a realtionship to be together in body as well as mind and heart. I feel he is looking for a partner in his own locale even while communicating with you. If he did find someone closer, I feel he would break off with you.

  • Thanks for your honesty Captain. That's kind of a bummer. So I am more into the relationship and possiblities than this guy is? I too would prefer someone closer but am prepared to make an effort and imagine he would have the forsight to see that too. Especiually before getting involved and pursuing me. I was under the impression that i was somewhhat special for him and worth the extra effort. i am also in the position where i could easily pick up sticks and move although i am not about to play all my cards and scare the guy off completely! Do you have any suggestions to make this work? I like the guy and think he's worth it. I think I should be worth it for him as well. Is this something I s hould bring up with him or just go with the flow and see what happens. I don't want to get too attached and then find he is dating a bunch of other women and hoping for something better or just as good close by. If he is NOT the one...do you see anyone for me soon? I am SO ready. I feel very happy with myself and life but am really tired of going it alone and tired of the dating game. Anything you have would be great. Am I wasting my time on this guy.? Has he already decided we are too far apart and not willing to suggest an alternative or ir there still a chance? He must like me somwwhat or see wome possibility as he is keeping up the communication unprovoked. Any more thoughts? Thank you!

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