For anyone that knows cancers: relationship help please.
I've dated a few male cancers, and they are incredibly insecure, play games, and the lying is endless. it's their Mother's fault!
You got that right HawaiianFlower
"they lie about their feelings, they create drama when it is so unnecessary and for no reason, just to have drama and feel something, and their mother's are the reason they are so disturbed."
Their mothers ruin ALL of their relationships by butting in and hammering in their ear, telling them what they should and shouldn't do and whom they should and should not be with. Their mother's are major destroyers of their lives. Cancers need to use their gift of feeling, to feel with their hearts and not do what other manipulating fools tell them to do, esp their family (mother, sisters, brothers) and friends, who usually are very nosy in their relationships, and whose own lives are more screwed up than the cancer they are trying to control.
Cancer's need to believe in their hearts more and they will then act appropriately in their affairs.
hi all?i sympathise and totally feel you....my husband is a cancer and he is guilty of all the above yet we still love them right??? i get pretty mad and cry when hes being selfish and mean but i know its just temporary and its just moods...u have to learn to ignore these abuses because they r not meant they r just to warn u of the mood....if u dwell on it u will never move on....just get over it and go to the next thing...
Hi all! It's quite astonishing to me how many of you hate cancers. I'm a cancer, so as for me, you're quite wrong (not sure whether the following applies to all cancers in general). I think that we don't want to hurt anybody at all without a reason (i. e. having been hurt by that person or feeling attacked etc.), especially when it's a person we love. Well, we're quite moody and unpredictable at times, even for ourselves and maybe we can say something we then regret, but that's not because we want to be mean, it's just because of the moodiness we can hardly change. It's just our nature, of course it's good to bear that in mind and try to suppress it.
As for lying, I'm not sure whether lying is in our nature, I would even say it's quite hard for us. Other thing is making excuses, that might be the case. But once again, the goal isn't to hurt anybody... I fully admit that our behavior and personality can be quite uncomfortable for many people, but on the other hand, we're very sensitive, loving and caring beings, so maybe we should be given a chance :).
I think that Cancer males biggest "flaw" is being insanely, unexplainable magnetic. Because, if you read people's stories, all these Cancers just sound like the typical as*hole guy that people warn you to stay away from. But...I think, and I say I think, the reason they seem to be overwhelmingly cancerian on this thread is that they just....have this unique way of being totally sweet and welcoming. So, when they pull the A-hole card on you girls just don't know what the hell happened.
But, these guys are jerks just like all the other jerks out there...its just Cancers are better at hiding it. They have their sweet smiles, and their sweet ways of wheedling into your heart so you don't see the horror coming until it's too late. Maybe other signs just aren't as good at doing that, and so when a guy who's an a*hole but not a Cancer comes at you it's easier to sniff out. Therefore, less threads about douchey Aries or Taurus or Capricorn, and an overwhelming amount about Cancers. But there may not actually be more jerk Cancers out there then any other sign...its just the ones who are jerks are better at scamming women.
Just a thought!
That's certainly an interesting thought... When I think of the matter that way, it looks like that might be it.
Its always good to see you pop in! Hope all is well in your world.
You are right, there are a holes in every sign. I think the Cancer women are so much better than the men. In MY circle of friends and family, not one person has a success story about their cancer man, and having an experience with one, I just won't date one again, call me stubborn what ever you want, but never ever again!!
When people say go slow give them time, cancer men don't want to be rushed, to me that is hog wash, yeah give them time to play the field with other women while you wait for them, no thanks!! I say it over and repeat myself, If a man wants to be with you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you. If you have to start guessing what his thinking blah blah.......then run and run fast!
they're good at reeling you in.. and playing games.
Oh, I completely agree, Piscesstar. When a guy really cares, he will make SURE you know it. And if he does need time, he'll tell you straight up exactly what he needs. But, I was just thinking about all the Cancer guys in my life, and actually only one of them acts like a huge womanizing douche...the others are all really sweet guys. And actually, one of the sweet guys has the same birthday as the douchey one, which I thought was hilarious.
I was just trying to figure out if it was really possible that Cancer guys are overwhelmingly insanely emotionally challenged. I think maybe when you get a combination of attractive, sweet, and sensitive you get a girl magnet, and once a guy becomes a girl magnet he automatically douches out. That actually may be another reason why the vast majority of "WTF" cases in this forum are Cancers: they are just born with that combo. Its funny because it could have been a blessing, but instead the male ego turns it into a curse. I think they can just relate to women SO well because they're so emotional, and because they can relate to women they hook a lot of them -and then they get addicted to hooking women in. And when a guy gets a lot of girls, unfortunately he isn't going to be too eager to give them all up for just one. Thats when you have the Cancer guy waiting for the "perfect girl" to settle down. I dont think it has anything to do with the actual woman being perfect, its just the Cancers excuse to keep shmoozing around.
Phew...anyway, those are just my thoughts. Someone mentioned it on one of the threads here, but the key is to really hone in on the Cancers maturity level. The only problem is they're really good at hiding it, and once you figure out that they're not who they seem its too late. However, once you've had to deal with one of them, you can take your experience onto the next one. If he starts to display the symptoms of "the wanderer", run away...RUNNNN AWAAYY.
Also, another key, is don't underestimate rumors or reputation. Everyone kept "teasing" the one I knew, saying how he was a total player and commenting on all his "hussies", but I actually didn't believe them because he was just SUCH a "sweet" guy. Like for the first few months, it didn't seem like he was ever capable of harming anyone ever. Then sloooowly his true colors started to come out. Once you see even a glimmer of that, just drop him like a hot potato. These are the only ways I can think of avoiding these situations.
Right again! Maturity level??? Mine was 50!!
I got many red flags that I chose to ignore. People are a good indicator in saying if the person is a slime. My ex cancerman's ex wife fore warned me, but coming from her I thought she was just being bitter with him. This man's eldest daughter does not even get along with her dad, (she is a cancer too), his ex wife was also a cancer.
I am glad my situation is in the past now, it took a while for me to get over being rejected, but when you look at the situation logically, it was for the best, he really did me a favor:-)
Yes, those games, they are very good at them but in the end they lose......They lose having a GREAT lady in their life.....Their loss......hahaha.......
yes, in the end they lose the game called life.
I was wondering something, are female cancers similar or are they excluded lol
I know several cancer females, but only one stands out as being an incredible liar and manipulator. and I can always tell when she would lie, and that incredible nervous energy.
Neurotic! that's it.
Some of the ones i know are neurotic..lol I work with 2 of them and they are very frugal! One of them never asks about you, its all about her and her family. She never shares any thing food wise a total cheap skate!! But i think they are good moms, I think they are very loyal to their partners. One I know has OCD and she is very controlling. It really does vary. My ex neighbor she is a cancer, I love her! We get a long just fine. Her daughter is a cancer too and I just love her also. I had another friend from Scotland, she drove me nuts, she thrived on negativity,there was always a crisis, I could not handle her and had to cut my ties to her. (she was very cheap too).
I honestly don't know. I just broke up with mine too. I went from ,(and these are her very words) ,being her "perfect Man", to not exsisting anymore. She will not answer my calls, texts, anything. She did say she will always love me . But there is no way we can EVER be together. I am a guy that believes in trying until I am blue in the face if it takes all night ,to get things straightened out. She loved me very much . And in the blink of an eye ,she hates me at least as much as she loved me. And will not give me a second chance. But she gave plenty of chances to her alcoholic ,very abusive now deceased husband. But one arguement and that's it for me .
It is very confussing because she sayes she will always love me. It sounds like she had one waiting in the wings and was just looking for a way out. And now the lies are surfacing. Deep, well thought out ,calculated lies about strange things that are of no great importance to anyone but her. I love her so much. And I feel lost and heartbroken. I'm too old for this kind of thing to be happening to me. And I would do anything to help her get her head straight. . We have been so great together the last 3 years ,through a lot of advercity. We maintained a long distance relationship that flourished. But one fight in 3 years and that's it? No . I smell a rat. But what can I do to get rid of the problem and maybe a rat too?
piscesstar>>>>One of them never asks about you, its all about her and her family. She never shares any thing food wise a total cheap skate!! But i think they are good moms, I think they are very loyal to their partners. One I know has OCD and she is very controlling. It really does vary.
yep, exactly, how she is, and that OCD just drives me up a wall. never wanted to spend money to help her business grow, very tight, very frugal, just plain stingy. and plenty of negativity or baggage she would hold onto to as if it were her blanket. my next door neighbor is a cancer and very sweet really nice, and very thoughtful. we all have our faults I know, but being too stingy causes problems for others. my grandmother was a cancer and really was an awesome woman. however, I was just a small child when she passed, so my memory of her is that she could do no wrong. lol thank you for your insights. HF
To everyone on this forum: Thank you. The cancer guy I dated for two months (51 yrs) totally one of the best guys I have come in contact with. He had a wonderful sense of humor, kept me laughing. He would call 3 or 4 times a day just to say something funny or ask how was my day going. He lives in a different city and state and our meeting I thought was an act of GOD. I have never dated a guy where we had so many of the same values. I didn't know anything about cancer guys (never dated a cancer guy) before looking into his zodiac sign after he disappeared. He came to to visit for a weekend about 3 weeks ago. We had a great time, in my opinion. I noticed that Sunday his mood was changing but he was still nice. He left Monday and I haven't heard from him. As I said that was three weeks ago. I tried to text, call and email him to no avail. I finally told him I needed closure and said good-bye by email. I still have not heard from him. My questions to you guys to include any cancer guys: Do they ever mature? How long is the disappearing act? Why can't they provide closure ? At least let the person know they are no longer interested. And why are they so d*** sweet and leave that hole in your heart? Do they still care and just don't want the committment or do they decide 'OH" she's not the one? Just curious>>>>>>>> I would have appreciated honesty/closure no matter how much it would have hurted.
So sorry this has happened to you.
The best thing you can do is move on! Once they start the disappearing act, see this as a RED FLAG!! Trust me on this one, I have been through it.
He probably has some one else on the side, hard to believe because he was so sweet? DON"T BE FOOLED!! If he was truly interested he wouldn't disappear, this is part of their game, you don't want to be part of it, it will scar you for a long time.
If he comes back, he will do the same disappearing trick again. Mine was also 50 and NEEDED TO GROW UP!!
If he lives in another state.....RED FLAG!! Mine travelled for work in another state where he had another woman and just married her!!
If a man is into you....HE WILL MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE WITH YOU!! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER>
Sorry to be so blunt, but I am tired of the Bull S.... these men play.
Be good to you, It was nothing you did wrong, believe me, it all about them!!
Picesstar: Thank you and I know you are right. I appreciate you being blunt and I have come to the same conclusion but it just baffled me. I am the type of person that will play the scenario over and over in my mind to find the loop hole. It is hard for me to get pass the fact that someone can be so cruel. I have never had a man to walk out of my life without some form of closure but I guess its a first for everything. Moving on with my life is not a problem; however, I do want answers that I know I will probably never get. I know, I am given him more of my time than he's worth.
Piscesstar: How long has it been since your break-up with your cancer friend? Are you still taking care of self or have you decided to give another special guy a chance?
The hole they leave in your heart (cancer men) is vast and wide. They mess with you in the end and then never give you the closure you need to move in. I wish I could go back in time and make it so we never met. Ignorance is bliss... I still struggle and it has been almost a year since our last contact. I am waiting for the day that I don't think about him.
doeyeyedpisces: Did he give you any form of closure? I can't say if I could do it all over again I wouldn't becasue he blind sided me. I guess I should be thankful it was only 2 months. How long was your cancer guy in your life?