Will he ever take a chance on me?

  • Hi all,

    I have been trying to get close to this guy that I like for some months now and I asked many a reader on this forum about my situation. The feedback given to me really made me think and after having a talk with myself I decided to just leave things be with this guy and take a back seat. However upon distancing myself from him I found that he was cropping up more and more in my life. Just last night I spent it in his company and most of today along with other friends. It felt really strange being in his company because I still do like him but i didnt want to make it obvious. There is a connection between us & some friends have commented on that too. I really want to make a go of it with him but having tried and failed before I am scared to take that leap of faith (again). Do you think he will ever make a move to get closer to me?

    Thanks AW86

  • You two should get along well together with little tension. However, if taken too far this relaxed attitude can lead to complacency and laziness and may undercut your motivational and ambitious drives. Thus, a repetitive pattern of tension followed by relaxation can occur in this relationship. So you would have to be careful of this tendency if you got together. You are both very social people and should share easy and open communication. But you both have major insecurities and control issues that can prevent you from relating well to others.

    Plans for the future can be the theme of this matchup. A love affair here will tend to be more low-key and pleasure-seeking than a friendship which tends to focus on artistic, creative and spiritual pursuits. A lot of attention in a love affair will be given to sex, food and the home. Marriage however tends to be the most difficult relationship of all here. Just getting yourselves to the altar can be a huge step and effort for both of you, and afterwards snobbery and lack of ambition can drag the marriage down if you are not careful.

    Individually, you AW can be highly dramatic and prone to overreacting to the dilemmas of daily life. Your life purpose is to find empowerment and you must work hard not to cancel out your best efforts through self-doubt and second-guessing. Your impulse to protect your more sensitive side can hinder your higher development and you may try to enforce your will and wield your personal power without first acknowledging your deep need for emotional sustenance and love. By releasing your need to control others or to win at all costs and instead adopting a path of kindness is a powerful and freeing action for you. Temper your belligerance long enough to ask yourself why you are fighting. All your suffering is really only in your own mind. The choice of a life partner is crucial for you as it is often through loving another that you will learn to love yourself. If you see love as equivalent to sexual excitement, control and competition, you will fail in your attempts to relate. If however you learn to share, empathize, listen, cooperate and express kindness, consideration and affection, you will win the true love you seek. Before you can enjoy a relationship however, you must lose your fear of being cheated on and lied to to the point where you don't believe anything or anyone and may even become faithless yourself; and also release your fear of being sexually controlled or psycholgically dominated. Your need for material success and achievement will be realized when you pursue the things that nurture your spirit.

    Your friend fears what he can't control. He has a deep need to be free which he may not be in touch with consciously but which nevertheless affects his life choices and actions. If he doesn't recognise or acknowledge this need, he can become rigid and inflexible or get stuck in traditions and habits not his own. He needs friends and lovers who strive for a broader or more spiritual experience in life but who have strong personal boundaries and are not dependent or needy. This man must be free to grow and learn and anyone who is too clingy will hold him back and frustrate him. Thus, he is very wary of involving himself in committed relationships that might tie him down too much. As sex -oriented and romantic as he is, he tends to lean towards friendships rather than deeper love relationships. He gets scared when he thinks about getting roped in and stuck with one person or kids who will keep him from living his life, to the point where he denies himself a whole life. He feels he might be missing out on something important if he settles down. It will take a very independent-minded, understanding and patient mate to wean him off this huge fear and allow him as much freedom as he needs to get past it.

  • Thank you for the reply Captain, I know you did a similar reading for me last year and as you can see Im still hung up on the same guy 🙂 Im trying to get my head around all of this at the moment. Things could be so simple if only let them be instead I suffer in my own thoughts. A lot of what you said about me I had not realised myself consciously but I will endeavour to understand myself more. Im hoping we will get it together eventually as I do think we would make a great match,,,only time will tell.

    Best Wishes AW86

  • AW86, that is far too long to be in the same situation. You need to move on by either finding your courage to approach this guy or finding someone else. You have to discover one way or the other if he likes you enough to get involved - but be warned, this guy is scared of commitment. Please don't keep waiitng for him to make the first move becasue his fear won't let him. You need to resolve this one way or the other. So what if he rejects you - it won't be you but his own fears that might prompt that reaction.

  • I know I know and especially after reading your post about needing to prepare for the future and how we should look back on our previous posts and see if we have moved on. I now know that I do need to make a step to see if he is willing to give "us" a go. So I will contact him and see if he would like to meet up. Im moving into my 25th year of existence on this planet and I want it to be the best year yet. I shall keep up updated with events. Thanks again for listening to me & replying to me, you spend a lot of time on this website and your insights are appreciated and valued by me and so many others.

  • Good luck - I will be thinking of you. 🙂

  • So I went for it and I got turned down his words "sometimes I want to kiss you other times I don't". What better way to let me know this than to make a move on one of my friends. Don't think I'll ever understand this guy he goes from singing happy birthday to me in the pub in front of everyone to basically telling me he's not interested. Scorpios....hhhmmm!!!!

  • I told you he fears commitment and losing his freedom. But at least you know now..

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