Am I ever going to move forward from the past?!?!
Well since 2 years ago when I left my old job of 5 years I was ready to pursue new things to be a new me. To maybe settle to grow... to change... kinda hide away from the world. Well things went crashing down & ever since Ive been back & forth with wanting to go back to this job because things have been up and down ever since. I got my heart broken really bad 2 years ago & after that a whole whirlwind of mess.. yet have not been able to let go of the past & who I once was.
Yet when I leave my job after visiting I feel kinda free but Ive been stuck in such limbo ever since. Usually when what is done to me is done but Ive been confused and in limbo ever since. Wanted to pursue new things but always stuck unsure of myself. I went through a very tragic experience with my family & I just dont know what to do or if I will ever be concrete in my decisions again.
Ive been trying to get away for so long from the old me & the old group of people I had that maybe my old job feels like a safety net for once was my life in order.
Its like I cant really dedicate myself to something new when Im holding onto the old. I honestly never want to go back to my old job again but Im constantly pushed back and pushed back to it. Everyone goes shopping there. Everyone shares my business with everyone there its like I cant move forward from these people.
I feel like being so involved with all this and others & the past is keeping from being secure & confident & dedicated to someone in my life. Instead of confiding in the man Im with I feel like Im confiding in everyone outside of which therefore destroys my relationships. How do I break out of this?!?! Or should I just fess up to this and attempt to get my old job back?!? Should I just give up on the road I was on & throw my hands up & get back there?!?
and start over where I left off?!?!?
The answer to that question depends on you and how serious you are about facing your inner demons. The biggest thing that came through is that you first need to attend to your physical body like there is an imbalance of some sort - it feels like there is excess or you are going overboard with something. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I sense that this has to do with alcohol or drugs. You tried to take control of your life and started a new path, but the follow-through wasn't there - issues of self-confidence and self-worth are at the core. It is this lack of confidence in yourself that makes you fear the unknown/the future and so you are clinging to the past. The substance abuse is just another way to mask or hide from what you really need to face. You have some old wounds to heal and I believe you are going to need help with this in the form of professional counseling. Sorry for being so blunt, but I feel you need a wake-up call...
Thanks for your response but no Im not into any drugs at all or alcohol. Now that I think about it I should have never posted this. These were my own thoughts.
Sorry, hun. Some sort of "addiction" came through and definitely something for which you need to seek professional help...
Breze1 last edited by
what was something beautiful you had in life before this job thing--or parallel to it. Maybe look for something beyond it--to make a comparison of how can you break through this situation. this is not easy. Maybe relocating, moving to another city or town, another place, brand new, where you have someone family or friends. be away from this little distracting addiction. this is addiction in that you are wanting it badly, while you know you shouldn't.
go back to some classes, activities, break the routine you are in, and definitely stop going to that place again, cause you are not emotionally over it. start thinking one goal at a time, make a plan, and stick to it. Write things down and mark with check points every day. You are close to braking through. Make steps toward not damaging your relationship, and move on. You are stack because you want to belive so. But you can change it. watch this
Carmela - It's an EMOTIONAL addiction. The problem is you aren't confident in yourself and fear you will fail so the clinging/addiction to the past job and people is your way of coping with it. But it's not really coping as this is what is keeping you "stuck." There is always a void between the past and your future and it can be scary. But you simply cannot reach your future while you are clinging to the past. You have to summon the courage - the belief in yourself - and enter the void of the unknown.