I need a spiritual teacher....or friend
Alright it's hard for me to admit this, because I just pulled myself out of a fanatic religion about a year ago and I'm afraid of spirituality now, and I don't know what/who "God" is. However, I feel that it has left a hole in me along with everything else I have had to deal with. I used to be in touch with my intuition and foresight, and felt I had a trace of psychic ability or awareness because I chose to care about everyone, reading their faces and their personalities, and felt that I would be appreciated for never complaining about my own problems.
However, my problems were not ones most could ever carry lightly, and as I learned that I needed to care about myself as well, I realized that no one else did, especially after I left the church, and the strength I had been using to hold these burdens have now outweighed me when I saw that all those that I gave my all to weren't wiling to give anything for me . I used to be a person talking about courage, right and wrong, how to make the best choices, and feeling I had character; now I feel small and insignificant, full of fear that no one will be there for me when it counts. I realize I have a very bad outlook on myself. I realize that I have too much self-pity. Both versions of me are very unbalanced, one believing that all the burdens in the world should never allow for a sign of weakness, and the other completely crushed under those same burdens.
The first part of me is embarrassed to confess this. The second part of me knows I need help.
If there is someone that can just give a little help, I can't downplay this anymore; I really need you, or I need guidance to finding a spiritual teacher.
I don't know if this is Karma from a past life, I don't know if I'm just a loser and Karma is kicking my ass, I don't know. I thought I was doing my best, but now I cannot be afraid of confessing that maybe I'm not.
GOD my brain is completely fucked!
Maybe no one will ever reply to this thread, but at least I got it out, and I guess that's a start.
LeoLover, you are just struggling with your strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else on the planet. The God you are seeking is in yourself. God is you in your finest moments but God also understands when you don't feel strong sometimes. No one is perfect - life is about learning lessons, sometimes through hard times. You are no better and nor worse than any one of us. We are all the same and we can all help and learn from each other. Keep talking about how you feel. There is always someone here to listen. It's only by expressing yourself that you come to understand what is inside you and what you want.
I haven't come back to this forum for a long time bc I was embarrassed for what I said, feeling I revealed too much. But Yes, thanks Captain, you are right, everyone goes through these things, and it doesn't matter who reads this bc at least I got it out still struggling with strengthening myself, looking for some spirit guide, IDK if I even have one, LOL. I start to think really I am meant to walk alone... who knows if the stars have anything to do with who we are.
I am going to be quoteing a minster that I admire you can see her everyday on TV. When you outgrow people and situations you do not need a cloud with the voice of God to tell you that it is time to move on. I feel this is what happened to you with the church and people you were involved with. They were in your distiny path and you were to learn some lessons in which I feel like you have done. Now, like you said , you will be looking for equals in your field of endevor so that you will have the give and take that you need. People will take advantage of anyone or thing that they feel like is there to help them. Most of those people do not have your ability to give back to you. I would suggest that you set boundries when you do help others so you do not end up feeling used and empty. Like The Captain said God is always with us to call upon and should be your most treasured teacher as he will lead you to the church and people in your next cycle of life. When you are gifted sometimes you do walk alone , but when you need help call upon God and he will pick you up and carry you. I wish you the very best in your soul searching. I feel you have the strength needed to walk on into the next phase of your life which my clairvoyance tells me will be a much happier one.
We all have to walk our own paths, but that doesn't mean we can't wave to each other and shout words of encouragement as we pass by.
Thank you very much Shuabby! That's nice to hear, that my life cycle is on the up and up! Hopefully it will stay that way! Any advice on how to gain personal clairvoyance? And that is true, Captain; I should accept what genuine encouragement that there is out there, rather than questioning intentions or sincerity.