Dear TheCaptain, can you help me again?..
Please help...I feel so lost as far as finding the love I want...I met someone that I really liked but now it's going downhill again. Can you give me a reading in regards to him and about my love life? He: 4/7/82. Me: 7/11/80
This relationship works best as a professional working partnership; it is worst for love. You are a persuasive person, Youretheocean, but you may have little luck working your magic with this guy. For one thing, he is so busy striving towards his career goals that he usually has no time to stop and listen to your 'sales pitches'. For another, you may become so dazzled by him that you get all tongue-tied and lose your chance to impress. In any event, you two usually lack the shared traits and concerns that would hold your relationship together. A lasting love affair or marriage is thus unlikely here - this matchup can make a better friendship though. You two can enjoy good times together as long as you keep your judgmental bossy side under control and your friend doesn't get carried away by selfishness or vanity. But power struggles will usually spell the end of this relationship in whatever form it takes. You two are usually united in a rebellious stand against the world and this is fine, but when you turn your rebellion on each other, it's a disaster.
Youretheocean, look deep into yourself to ensure you aren't letting your need for intimacy - sexual and otherwise - or proving that you are physically desirable turn into an obsession that hinders the natural flow of relationship for you. Also, you are a very creative person but you hinder your prosperity when you become torn between developing your talents and worrying about crass commercialism.
Thank you so much for your insight and advice. You've given me alot more to think over. I truly wish that he and I could be friends but the attraction we felt was too strong. However, I've not contacted him for several weeks because of his lack of effort to make things work and I'm trying to move on. But, do you think he will try to contact me in the future or is he a lost cause?
One thing I'm not sure:
"look deep into yourself to ensure you aren't letting your need for intimacy - sexual and otherwise - or proving that you are physically desirable turn into an obsession that hinders the natural flow of relationship for you." I have had issues with confusing intimacy with love before but I've been taking steps to slow down becoming intimate with men but the results are still the same...I'm trying my best to change bad habits and old patterns but nothing seems to change no matter what I do..I just feel helpless and lost right now. I do still have a glimmer of hope left within me though despite everything...
Unfortunately when you feel insecure about something, you tend to attract people who will highlight your issues in some way. Such as attracting men who are more interested in sex than having a relationship. You need to get to the bottom of your insecurities so that you can attract more loving faithful partners. You aren't getting anywhere because you are not digging deep enough. You need to find out who or what caused you to feel undesirable or unlovable. The answers lie in the past and in changing old mistaken beliefs that were instilled in you when you were young.
Your current relationship has died because your partner places his career and life ahead of his relationships. It is not helpful or healthy for you, so let it go and work at acquiring more confidence in yourself.
Hi thecaptain... Can you please do my birthdate as well? I like this person a lot, but we seem to not get along for some reason. Do you see us being together in the future?
Me: 5-26-84 Him 7-10-67
I really like him and hope that we could be together.
This post is deleted!
I flip between feeling confident and insecure. My confidence attracts certain types of men and when the relationship doesn't work out, my insecurity arises. It's a catch 22. I must admit that the environment in which I'm meeting men isn't the best for finding a loving relationship (online dating sites) and most of the men where I live&work are quite selfish and career-oriented. I'll admit that men finding me attractive does boost my confidence and I really need to find that within myself rather from men or my peers for that matter. I think I do have to dig deeper and figure out some issues. I think I know where it all went wrong. The only man I had ever loved left and hurt me in a huge way! And I believe I have never fully recovered from him. In any case, I will think more on your advice and work on myself more this year...and I hope I can get another love reading from you soon. Hopefully a more positive one haha! Thanks so much again~
ColdHeartLove, this is Youretheocean's personal thread. Please start your own thread by clicking on the "Create a new topic" button at the top right of this page and I will answer you there.
Youretheocean, good luck to you and keep in touch.