Cancer Male and Mixed Messages

  • Just a brief overview of my situation. I met my cancer lover over 20 years ago at 19. We had a hot steamy romance until I went off to college. I broke it off because a long distance relationship would not work. However, I never forgot about this man. Fast forward 20 years later, I found him on FB and initiated contact in Aug 2010. We were so happy to reconnect. I told him how much I still cared for him and was excited that he shared the same sentiments. He told me I was the one that got away and that he also searched for my through the years and that he still loved me after all this time. We've had a text/phone romance because we live 2 hours apart and I was scared to meet up too soon because the emotions were too intense. However, we finally had a face to face meeting after 2 months of texting. The first hug was electric and the first kiss....OMG...We could not keep our hands off one another, no sex just hugs and kisses. It was as if time stood still and we picked up where we left off.

    We've seen each other maybe 8 times over the past 6 months due to the distance and our hectic schedules. He has made it known that he was deeply in love with me and needed me in his life and of course I expressed the same. We would text everyday all day, but we began to experience minor rifts. He began to show possessive, jealous traits, moody and would get mad so easy over nothing. It caught me off guard because I'd never seen that side of him. He would ask me why I chose to be with him because I was so pretty and could have any man I want???? He asked this all the time! He said that he was concerned that he couldn't give me the time I needed and that I would stray eventually. One day we would be so emotional, telling me how much he loved me, etc and the next he'd be sort of cold and aloof. Of course this behavior confused me. Around Christmas time we saw each other. He'd planned a day of fishing/picnic for me. It was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. He brought wine, crab legs red potatoes and all the trimmings cooked everything at the park and we dined under the stars. So nice! Unfortunately, we had to end the night early because he works overnight and had to hit the road. His trip home took three hours....The next day I called him to thank him for the beautiful evening and he was unusually short with me. Of course my head began to wonder what was wrong and had I done something to make him sort of cold. I remembered during the picnic he commented that he'd better hurry up and feed me so I won't become more bored with him. Huh! I told him I was having a great time. For some reason he thinks that I'm this high society, high class woman that needs all the bells and whistles to enjoy myself. Yes, I'm a leo but I like simple things too. LOL

    After that day, I noticed he began to pull/push away, but 2-3 days later he'd send me text telling me how in love his is with me, etc. He wouldn't call me I had to always contact him first. Mixed messages!!! I sent a text telling him I needed to chat and I told him what my concerns were and he became a little angry telling me that just because he wasn't talkative some days did not mean that his feelings had changed. However, my intuition told me something was up. He would pick fights with me then tell me I won't hear from him for a few days. Of course I panicked and wanted to rectify the issue right away which he refused to do. So we wouldn't talk for a few days. I would text him after 2-3 days and he was literally waiting to hear from me to call telling me how much he missed me and needed to talk to me but needed me to call first???? Anyhoo, things have been sort of weird since Christmas. He began to not return text, calls and basically ignore me. I sent him one final text telling him that is he's no longer interested etc, just say so and we would part as friends but don't lead me on. Of course he got angry at me for confronting him but I did is respectfully. After that day I slowly began to cuts my ties with him. I began the grieving process of letting him go. It was so painful. Days and days of tears but I had to do it. I stopped calling...... NO MORE CONTACT. The weekend went by and usually on Monday I send him a text bright and early. This time no text on Monday, no text on Tuesday.... Wednesday comes and guess who's texting me! Yep, it's him... now for the past 3 weeks he text me everyday at the same time. The conversation is different as if he's trying to gauge how I feel about him and he even told me he wants to see me this week. I'm so baffled. Why would he tell me he's so in love with me one day and run the other? The picnic was so much fun and we really bonded, but after that he pulled away. I don't get it. I needed to share this because I'm thoroughly confused. As a Leo, I can become very impatient with this behavior but I'm trying to understand him. Fellow cancer lovers please analyze this for me and tell me

    what should I do. It seems as though he became interested when I stopped calling. In his last text he told me that he still loves me but we need to tone it down. Okay! I asked what does that mean and his response was that we don't need to talk everyday. Whatever! He says that but still text me everyday.....I stopped calling all together because I read that they like to do the pursuing. Maybe his feeling were becoming too strong and scared him....maybe his insecurities got the best of him. I don't know...

  • I have had a similiar situation happen to me. The relationship began well, lots of promises and talk of the future initiated all by Pisces. Pisces also began to back away and come back continuously. I love this person very much and put myself out there at a time when it really was not a smart thing to do. It hurts me greatly but I have severed contact because the back & forth hurt too much. I am going to back away completely for awhile, pray and see what happens. If you have had many conversations with this person re-assuring him of your intentions and feelings, I advise you to back away for awhile as well. Life is too short to play games with each others emotions. You sound like you have been very open with !

  • DeeDee1970, I feel for you, I'm a leo and the girl that I dated was a cancer, we started having problems again x'mas time too, I don't even know what I've done wrong. She said she doesn't want to see me anymore, and ask me not to contact her anymore, that was on the 15th.

    I'm still very in love with her, I have no choice but to give her space.

    I guess Cancer are Leo Kyptonite =(

    Ask yourself, do you really love him, if you do, and you think it's worth it, then we leo just need to learn to be patient with the cancer.

    I just hope that being patient will eventually get her back.

    I wish you all the best.

  • I completely agree with AquaBubbles. It sounds like he really likes you, and right now he's feeling super insecure about it and is testing you continuously. I know it isn't easy, but I really think he's just doing his little "cancer moves" to make sure things will really last in the long run before he gets too emotionally invested. They are very, very protective of their emotions. So...really, if you want you be with him, your only option is to be patient and try and reassure him. Sometimes Cancers do just...get MOODY, and they dont want to talk to anyone, even you. it isnt personal, its just the way they are. So, he's pulling away to see how you 'deal with giving him space'. He's prodding you to ask how you feel to see if you still care about him after he's moved away. He's going to keep doing this until he feels totally secure with your relationship.


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  • Hey DeeDee1970

    See my original thread regarding my case.

    I just don't understand how she can be friends with her ex which she told me, had cheated on her, and she refused to stay friends with me.

    Maybe I'm being delusional, I think she's pushing me away because she does have feelings for me, but she's honestly doesn't have time to focus on a relationship now and just want to go out and have fun when she has the chance.

    I don't know, I don't want to think anything negative about her, because I still love her very much.

    My heart is crush in million pieces, but I have no choice but to leave her alone and be patient, at least for now. I just hope that when and if she comes out of her shell, she'll realize that what we had was real. The connection we had on our first date was amazing (no sex involved), we just sat there and chat for 3 hours about life, her childhood, etc and the moment we kissed, took all my senses away.

    I honestly have never felt this strong and passionate towards a girl in my life thus far.

    The day we had the argument was on 12/20, the night of the lunar eclipse, maybe I was screwed by that. IDK LOL

    It's been 36 days since I saw her in person, I miss her so much.

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  • Dee Dee,

    Your story sounds like I wrote it myselt. Your cancer lover wouldn't happen to live in San Diego would he?

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  • LOL, indeed they do, Dee Dee, male or female.

    Wish I had join the forum before she cuts me off entirely, I never really read horoscopes before, you can see how lost I am now. sigh.

    Anyhow, this other board that you are referring to, can you let me know the URL, so I can check it out too. Tks

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  • Dee Dee, I'm somewhat relieved. It is hard to be connected to someone who is so up and down. The intensity of the relationship when things are good ropes you in, and it is very hard to let go... I wish you the very best.

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  • Dee Dee,

    I definitely know where you are coming from on Cancer males. The guy I have been dating for four years does that space thing on and off. We just emailed for over a year after I broke the dating part off initially out of frustration with his communication habits..or lack there of at times... We started dating again last together around once a month due to jobs,family and so on..In November and December, he really increased how much he contacted me for a he's backed off again...Like you said...something goes really smooth with them on a date....then they are gone for a intiate takes them a while to get back with stop communicating and go about your own business...all of a suddent they pop back up...go figure...i never thought of it as testing boundaries though...


  • In some cases it’s about testing boundaries, not all. Look at the whole picture to determine what is and what isn’t because even if he is testing (which doesn’t imply game-playing), he will not change. He needs to know how far he can go and if you’re okay with him hermiting for a week or if you get upset when you don’t hear from him after a day. It tells him a lot about you and which spectrum of the scale you tip, because if your needs aren’t the same then it says a lot about a potential relationship also.

  • Dee Dee,

    Our situation is similar, in that my cancer guy and I were "addicted" to each other for nearly a year. Tha past 6 months have been very bizzare. My sense is that this is the way of the cancer, combined with all that's going on in the world astrologically (the energy for all is a bit intense).

    I love this man, but I'm not going to tolerate the emotional drama that comes with loving him, so I'm moving on.

    I do wish you all of the very best!

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  • Hi Dee Dee,

    No, those aren't his initials.

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