Shut out, please help!

  • A once friend of mine has now decided to completely shut me out. I remember how she used to be, too, so she had no reason to really do this. I didn't give a reason, I don't think...

    Either way, she's on the path to destruction because she's gone from the caring girl that I used to know into a sort of rebel without a cause. She doesn't even try to see both sides of a conflict. She just sees her own side of the conflict and acts accordingly, which is usually rash and tactless and ends up getting both parties angered at her. She doesn't seem phased as she just shrugs it off and believes she did what was right but now... she's just... she's changed!

    She believes that the sudden change in signs, what with the 'addition' of Ophiuchus, has been to blame for her sudden change in demeanor. No, she's still an Aquarius. She is the only one to blame for the changes she made. Somebody has to tell her she's wrong, something has to stop her before it escalates to a level that she can't handle. I know she's going to stand up to the wrong person and not realize that she was wrong the whole time.

    She's abandoned all her old friends, old relationships, and tried to convince herself that she's trying to create a 'new her', but it's... worse. I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can help her anymore because she honestly just hates me. She explains it away as 'I DON'T TRUST YOU' but honestly... it's more than that. Someone, please tell me... what can I do?

    I've already lost her as a friend, but that's not the point. I don't care about that. I won't explain her away as some 'old regret of mine' or just another mistake I made in the past. She is another human being. She was my friend. She taught me that I can love, and I will always be thankful to her for that, but I cannot and will not let her destroy herself like this. Just because she stopped caring doesn't mean I have to.

    Somebody please... anything. Insight, ideas, suggestions, anything will help me help her. Just... anything.

  • Uhm... I don't know if this needs it but, bump.

  • There is nothing you can do here but send her good thoughts. In the end people have to make their own choices and live with them. This is something she must sort through on her own. Just be prepared to help her if she asks for it.

  • PS I am getting the sense that a man is behind all this.

  • If a man is behind this, it may actually be partly my fault, but I don't feel that it all is. She was changing and it didn't even have anything to do with me at all, it was just... so sudden. If I should be prepared to help then I'll see what I can do, but I am pretty sure she won't come to me first.

    I guess I'll just hope for the best from here on out.

  • Thank you for your response, Captain.

  • And she's quite wrong about the astrology signs changing - this has since been dismissed as untrue.

    OCain, you are not responsible for how others think and behave. We all only have a responsibility to make ourselves better, not anyone else - otherwise that would be controlling behaviour. You have to allow your friend to make her own mistakes as that is how any of us really learn.

  • I only wish she'd listen, but very well. I'll let it happen.

  • Well... It was indeed a man behind it all. Her father is on his way out of this world and she's blaming me and that incident for all her depression and bad feelings. She distrusts me and despises me to the point where she constantly wants me to know that. She's calling me pitiful and saying I should move on with my life for trying to get her to listen to me and I honestly want to slap her and tell her to wake up and smell the freaking asphalt.

    I can multitask. I've been moving on with my life for the past nine months here at Job Corps fixing up what ruins I made of my life. I'm expecting her to fix THESE ruins of our friendship for herself. I know it's a bad thing but maybe if she finally snaps under the pressure she'll have to come to terms with the fact that she's been wrong the entire time. Just hoping. T_T

  • Your friend simply doesn't have the courage yet to admit to herself that she is to blame for all her own problems and difficulties. So she blames everyone else. But that means she will be further tested to bring out her strength and courage.

  • I'm sure it's going to hurt like a **** when those words come out of her mouth. Kind of funny because it was not but two months after this incident, which is to say just a little while ago, that I've found someone who is not only far more accepting of my nature, but seems to actually bring out the betters parts of me much easier. It's not even a strain to do so and it's never something I have to actively remind myself. It's like it is second nature when I'm around this girl... ^-^

    First time I've ever been close to a Virgo, and I'm surprised how fast it happened. Even more surprising is that I wasn't the one doing the chasing. She was after me and... well there's a lot of details.

    Either way, as long as I now know that she's going to try some day, I'll always be around. I don't want to have to hold a figurative gun to her head just so she figures out that I don't want to be villified anymore. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE playing the bad guy, but I don't WANT to be the bad guy anymore. If she wants to say she distrusts me and disrespects me, then fine. If she says that I'm a terrible person? Well, I'd rather make a liar out of her than prove her right. But honestly... I'd be a better friend than an enemy. As her friend she would have a LOT more influence in the future. As her enemy? I might end up stepping on her, either unintentionally or out of spite. >_>

    Either way, I'm good with the decisions I've made so far at least.

Log in to reply